The majority of the following items have appeared in the Argus before in plain everyday garb. Here they are again as dressed up by the humorist of the Adrián Press: The Ypsilantian heads a column of marriages, "What God Hath Joined." In the light of thte numerous divorcés in Washtenaw, the above reads like a blasphemy. Peter Gable, a Whittaker saloonist, has been arrested for transacting business without the proper credentials. He pleads not guilty and the gable end of the case will be reached in the circuit court. A Chelsea chap undertook the other day to eat twenty bananas on a wager. He got away with seventeen of them in fifteen minutes and then he feit so bad in his stomach that he hasn't bananawhere, since. A noted physician in this city has traveled in his practice in Ann Arbor and the country during the past 22 years, 155,400 miles, which is equal to 6% trips around the world. - [Courier. No wonder Ann Arbor started a new grave yard. Ann Arbor is about to have a corset factory, The article manufactured will embrace not only the lady, but an ingenious new clasp by which the fastenings are released simultaneously, enabling the wearer to fall apart, all at once. # # # # The earth, removed from the Methodist church excavation at Ypsilanti, has been spread on the surface of the Presbyterian parsonage lot, and it is going to be nip and tuck in that qnarter between infant damnation and universal redemption. A party called on an Ann Arbor painteif last week to look over the house with a view to renting it. His immediate view, however, was upon the vest of the painter, from which he stole a watch. The painter chased him and the thief, falling down, threw the watch at the head of the owner, breaking the works, and escaped. K "Dutch cheese" is,sold in Ypsilanti at ten cents a pound, and the Ypsilantian, with a gnawiñg hunger for "Dntch cheese," wails over the grinding monopoly and wants more commercial freedom in this "almost waste product." It is the prevailing republican idea that a thing without a tariff on it is "cheap and nasty." Who wants "cheap and nasty" Dutch cheese. Over in Milan, at the rink dances, gentlemen settle affairs of honor by politely knocking cach other down with beer bottles, right then and there. This shows that gradually the barbarous pistolary and swordhacking code of dueling is yielding to the more enlightened method of skull-smashing with beer-bottles. That part of the universe which contains Milan "do move."