Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Philander Porkins, of the Adrián Press, last week wrote as followi: The intelligent dog Fido, oí the Washetnaw Times, Uied last week of heart disease, induced by editorial overwork. # # # A lady member of a dramatic company recently had her husband arrested at Ann Arbor, for failure to support her. He finally gave her $10; she hugged her husband and thp curtain dropped. The constitution of a chair occupied by E. E. Osband, of Tpsiilanti, suddenly gave out with him, the other day, and Osband scored a broken wrist by the rapid transit line. He is slowly coming back on a way freight. Leo Kopf, of Ann Arbor, who was hit on the nose while acting as peacemaker between an Ann Arbor and an Ypsilanti tough, has since come near bleeding to death, but it is nov thought will recover. Mr. Kopf is advised to hereafter remove his nose before offering his services as mutual trlend. One doien eggs will buy more than two pounds oï sugar; it formerly took two dozen, eggs to buy one pound of sugar. The farmers know that the McKlnley bill effected this change. - Ann Arbor Courier. The reduction on sugar is only two cents per pound. The egg story is rotten. You can't make a farmer swallow it. Ik # # Prof. Miller, of the Ypsilanti Normal school, last week, discoursed learnedly to his class on the laws of force and resistance, and then went out and "bucked" a wire fence that he didn't know was there, receiving injuries which laid him up several dayr. Theory, when aceompanied by exemplification, is always convincing. The Enterprise wonders why the iarmers around Manchester do not take to raising celery on their drained marsh lands; then with a ray of light suddenly shot athwart its brain, it adds, "the stalks contain 95 per cent. of water; perhaps that may be the reason why our farmers do not care to handle it." Well perhaps. The Enterprise is published right there, and ought to know best. A chap who jumped an Ypsilanti board bill, and was jailed far 20 days, told a pitiful tale of the heart-break his Massachusetts father would feel at his son's sad situation; but a letter from the oíd man declines to do anything for him. The heart of the Massachsuetts father may break, but not his pocket book. He evidently knows the young man. A tellow in Ann Arbor the other day ogled the ladies till roproved, and then wanted to fight the repro ver. When he was being dragged to jail by an officer, he offered to treat the cop to a glass of beer if lie would let him go. This was the severest test of virtue the body-snatcher had errr expericneed, but he overeóme temptation and landed his man in jail.