Adrian Press Washtenawisms

The health officer of Ann Arbor reports the city now free from contagious diseases. There is therefore no further use for larded brimstone At the second Baptist church of Ann Arbor, when there is to be a pocket-book upheaval, they cali it a "rally." A recent '-rally" there routed up $100 spot cash for the church fund. ít The Keeley Institute at Northville, for removing snakes from men's' boots, is to be removed to Ypsilanti, citizens of that town having purchased the stock, believing they can be cured cheaper in that way. Two tons of glass arrived Tuesday from Chicago for the three large windows of the new church - ['S'lantian. Two-thirds of the tonnage was tariff. A Bridgewater lad has just been cured of stammering, at a Wisconsin stammer cure. The Press commends the institution to James G. Blaine. He stammers noticeably, whenever he refuses the nomination. Some rascal who dosen't believe in punishment - present or future - one night last week smashed $100 worth of tariff and 50 worth of plate glass in Wahr's book store in Ann Arbor. # # Two Manchester jewelers recently feil to running each other on clocks and sold nickle clocks at 65 cents. It is hoped the "run" of the clocks will last as long as that of the jewelers. Wm. Brighton, of Manchester, a discharged target keeper, sues the Lake Shore company for injuries of several years ago. Thomas J. Navin, formerly of Adrian, now of Detroit, is his attorney. K # # The dead "in the old Ypsilanti cemetery, have 'shaken the dust from their bones, and moved to other quarters - driven out by generations born since their death, who coveted the land for a park. Thus is "rest in the grave" made a farce. The silent inhabitants of the cemeteries are but "tenants at will" of thé living. The Courier had better soak its feet and go to bed early with a hot water-bag on the seat of its distress. - Adrián Press. If the Press would soak its head sometime it would be "clear out of sight." - Ann Arbor Courier. The exact import of the above rejoinder is not absolutely j ' ' tjdear, but it seems to be in the . nature of a delicately conveyed com- pliment. The Press will do its best to merit the enqomiums of its contem. poraries. j. "The great Republican banquet s was a success in every respect. Tuesj day was a day of great importance t in the history not only of Ann Arbor f and the University but of the grand j üld Party as well. The influence , of the banquet will be more than i national."- Ann Arbor Register. Thus it appears to have been a f much more extensive drunk than we at first supposed. # #■ # m [ H. T. Hollister, of Dundee, Monday of last week, lay on a lounge ' awaiting dinner, when a strange man walked into the room, from a bedroom, having entered through a ; window. He said he wasafter valuables, but Hollister made him flee, ; by allowing him to smell the muzzle of an empty revolver. líe was caught and jailed. # The prospective graduates of Saline are air harrowed up over the problem of what they shall wear at commencement. Graduates often wear clothing - that is, not too much you know, but some. Saline was a surprised community when old Nate Bordine, the other day, drove into town in a spring carriage, behind a yoke of oxen, and gosh! you orto seen how allfired handy he was with 'em, tew. Prince Michael, the spurious Detroit redeemer, is to be tried in Ann Arbor, on a change of venue. It would save expenses to just drop Ylike down on the campus and turn the students loose on him. It would puzzle his divine nibs afterward to teil what part of the godhead he represented. In Ypsilanti a few evenings ago, a respectable lady wasassaulted by a short, shambling, shabby, bow-legged snaggle-toothed son of Zanzibar, described as having a very flat nose, kinky hair and wobbling gait, and named Jake Griffin, who made his escape. Such occurrences are growing too frequent in Ypsilanti. While the Ann Arbor banjo and guitar club were giving a concert in Saline Wednesday evening, the high wind blew the roof off the building. The concert 'therefore was indefinitely postponed until Wednesday, June i.- Ann Arbor Democrat. There? - we just expected something like that would happen before this baivjolin club got through the season. One of the most difficult jobs - md one that struck him fairly in the :ace almost at the threshold of his idministration - was thrust upon Postmaster P. Carpenter, the other iay, by a fellow out in the state of Washington who had been in the ïabit of pronouncing it Wi-pee-silan-ti. He wanteti to know of the postmaster if that was the way to pronounce Y-p-s-i-1-a-n-t-i. None now but his most intímate friends ire allowed by his physicians to see Mr. Carpenter, but they say they will bring him around again shortly. The Dundee Agricultural Association gets out of the wet immediately and proceeds to force and open the season with a grand matinee on their track June 4th, beginning at 10 o'clock. Four events are billed as follows: Free for all, 2:50 class, 3 year old class, and green race. No entry fee is charged. There are four premiums in each class. Information can be obtained by addressing L. B. Smith. secretary. The removal of the Northville Keeley drunkard cure, to Ypsilanti, June ist, is heralded as something that "will spread the name and fame" of thattown "far and wide." Guess not any farther and wider than it was already spread. What the name itself lacked, as a famemaker, was supplied to all the world that could smell, when the drill uncapped her mineral water. The Ann Arbor Courier's cartoonist brought forth another last week. It is said to represent Gen. Winans, grip in hand, fleeing to the woods, after the recent Democratie state convention. That which at sight impresses the beholder as the raciest thing about the cartoon, is the great length of the governor's left leg; or, mayhap it is the right leg. It is impossible to be certain from the picture which is the right and which the left; but at all events it is the leg in the air that is the longest, by several inches. If it be the left leg, then the other is going to "git left" before the race is half over. There is nothing like the clever cartoon to concisely convey conviction. Hiawatha- Pride of the setting sun, will you be mine? Minnehaha - Oh, go and do as the pale-faces do.1 Go and buy me of my father.