Adrian Press Washtenawisms

The Saline calisthenic class can noW kick the hat from the head of the tallest alumnus. Ypsilanti looks forward with pride to her corn erop in Prospect Park. A colored man named Beard, of Ypsilanti, is this week taking his third roast charged with slander. Two previous juries sat on him and disagreed. ## ## A post mortem examination on the body of the late Hillsdale Mutual Curse Association, reveáis the cause of death to have been atrophia of the emergency fund, superinduced by grippe. The deceased was thirteen years old and leaves many mourners who wish it had died fourteen years ago. ♦ # Many a man can attest the truth of the words: "Donec eris felix, multos numerabis amicos; Témpora si fuerint nubila solus eris." - Ann Arbor Courier. Yes, that's what's the matter! In the sublime and beautiful language of the poet: "Woh heum a loof ohw sah neeb tnes ot emoR Slecxe eht loof ohw sah neeb tpek ta emoh. Note - These Unes contain a Shakesperian cipher. William Sanford, of York, is knee deep in legal trouble, charged with beating and stabbing a horse to death. God has made some brutes with four legs and others with two. Manchester merchants make clean the gutters in front of their stores, and instruct the public to believe that the stench from the back yard garbage, is natural gas from Bryan, Ohio. The Register and Courier printers at Ann Arbor fought a game of baseball, and stood thirteen to a baker's dozen when outraged nature turned heaven's hose on them and stopped the business. # George Thumm, of Ypsilanti, has been arrested for keeping his saloon open Sundays.- Ann Arbor Argus. In other words, "Thumm's up.' Ypsilanti has decided that bicycles must keep off the sidewalks,anc what Ypsilanti decides goes, unti the marshal's back is turned.- Ann Arbor Argus. Then the bicyclegoes. D. Cramer, of Ann Arbor, "kicks' on a cartoon of him in the Argus, wherein he complains that he is made too short in the legs. Never mind.. Cramer; suppose you do travel a little tongue-tièd - it's only a matter of style af ter all. Chauncy Crytz, full of honors and emoluments and not a hog in the matter of office holding, has resigned the postmastership of Scio, and John Steals is appointed, who if his name signifies anything, should be made to furnish rattling good bonds. The annual pioneer gathering of Washtenaw was held at Chelsea, last week, and each of the old settler who spoke, dropped into his seat nerveless and pretty well tuckerec out, but happy in the triumphs of living faith that he had beat all th other back.numbers, on bears an black salts. uijÜl -k" Miss Florence V. Smith, of Schoolcraft, asks $5,000 of Ann Arbor with which to dress an injured knee. Miss Smith claims to have stepped in a hole in the walk which was covered by the dresses of two ladics in front of her. She should have taken shorter steps or not have walked behind. . Colts belonging to Fred Croman, of Waterloo, broke out of their inclosure and one of them was hooked up on the velvety prongs of a barbed wire fence - one of the luxuries of modern civilization. In racing the colts around the lot Croman lost a valuable chronometer-, which flopped out of his pocket and is gone. A man may lose nmch valuable time in this world-. l Frank Bush, of Dixboro, has a live fivc-legged lamb. It is almost as ïrtüch of a monstrosity as the McKinley tariff with the reciprocity attachment, It only cost $2 fine ir, Ann Arbor last week, for a man to lick his uncle. With the priee down to bed rock, no nephew can afford to have a refractory uncle around. D. Augustus Straker, the Detroit colored lawyer, was in Ann Arbor last week inquiring into the case of Griffin, the Ypsilanti rapist, who was shot at the time of his capture and subsequently died in jail. A prosecution was threatened for Griffin's death. The Ann Arbor Courier, republican, -tells Mr. Straker, in effect o go back to Detroit and mind his wn business; that "when an injusce is done a colored man here in he northern states, especially in üchigan, there will be hundreds of hite people as ready to battle for lis rights as they are themselves. 5ut this crime is one that, next to nurder, deserves the extent of the av, and there should be no attempt o defend self-confessed crimináis." The grand old party sheets of Vashtenaw, are shedding gall and nk, over the 'question as to which s the leading Republican paper of he county. Blessum' they're all head, by jerks. Dorr's district in Manchester will ot have a new school house. Five men wanted it and ten didn't. - Ann Arbor Argus. Of course it wasn't needed. An ld rail is good enough to hold up ie sagging corner; boys hats are ust the thing to stuff the broken vindows - a paneless process - and or stopping up rat holes, the small hildren will answer every purpose. 'he five were foolish virgins. Mayor Pingree, of Detroit, has ent a check of $500 to President Burke of the American Republican College League, to be used to further the work of the League. "What's the matter with Pingree?" "He's all right." - Ann Arbor Courier. All right to give $500; but when it comes to nominating a governor Beal will try to sit on him. We warn him that he may lose his sole in opposing Pingree; for how hardly shall they that have Riches, etc. Frank Lawson of the South Lyon jand became a father last week and he South Lyon Picket drops into joetry over it as follows: 31ow the cornet, beat the drum, And everybody shout with joy; Tor Frankie Lawson smoles a smile, Because he's daddy to a boy. - Ann Arbor Argus. As it seems to be a family affair we would not profane the joyful occasion with a single dissonant note; rather would we swell the domestic cadenee into a grand jubílate (pronounced ju-bi-lah-te,) by adding the following stanza: Boom it on the bombajar, Loud as loudest notes thatmay be; Let the echo sound afar, Hannah Ann has got a !