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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Adrian Press Washtenawisms image
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Philander Perkins, of the Adrián ■rress, is still grinding out a grist of Washtenaw items culled from the Ann Arbor press and rewritten in such inimitable style that they are too s;ood to be lost. # H. Shoemaker is doing the local work of the Ann Arbor Register. His department ought not to "run down at the heel." The huckleberry erop about Chelsea is beautiful, but the swamp water is so deep that one must have legs like a shikepoke, to gather them. An Ann Arbor 5th warder's horse ran away with him, last week. The man hung to the reins till the rig ran over a cow, when everything went to smash. From the Ypsilanti Commercial it is learned that Rev. M. S. Woodrufí has resigned the "pastúrate" of St. Luke's church. The feed was too short, we suppose. Washtenaw is paying 264 a month for her crazy people. Among them are not included a number of blooming cranks, who think they know how to run the Republican party in Washtenaw county. William Mason, of Ann Arbor, found on his doorstep the other day a two-weeks' old girl baby, dressed in a strip of manilla paper piously scrawled with, "May God bless the little one and the ones who care for her." The blessing must hover over the poor house, whither the foundling was taken. Mr. and Mrs. Wm. Wanty, of Augusta, began business together in 1861, and fourteen children blessed and hallowed the union. Two years ago the thriving husband went to England and returned with his niece. Mrs. Wanty now wants a divorce on account of the said niece. Manchester saloon-keepers who furnished patriotism on the Fourth are to be prosecuted. The budgeslingers say this is treason on the high seas - on the "schooners." Jacob Stall, a Dexter barber, last week had a portion of an ear eaten off by Jay Warren. If the diet does not kill him, ihe cannibal will be arrested for Stall-feeding. While little Sanimie Lee, of Augusta, was studying botany in the tall grass last week, a raowing machine passed that way and nearly severed one of his feet from the ankle. A bee stungahorse inAnn Arbor; sudden activity seized the horse and George Rhodes took a "header" from a load of hay,injuring his internal works. Very small things in life often "down" men of the highest standing. Mr. Popoph, of Bulgaria, a student of Ann Albion college, lectured at Chelsea. Remembering Mr. Zulu Dungan Omisha's recent missionary visit to Ann Arbor, the Press would suggest caution in this case. Mr. Pop -off may be loaded. The Ann Arbor Courier twits the Register of selling its influence to Pingree, for 5,000 copies of the paper, at 2 cents per copy. Both are Republican papers. Both claim political purity. Either the one is a bribe taker or the other a lying slanderer. Eliza Courts, spiritual consort of Flying Roll Mike, and who, since the departure of her beloved in the Lord for Jackson, had remained in jail at Ann Arbor, has secured bail for the October term, and gone off to look tip the unsheared mutton of the ñock. In a strange encounter between a milk wagon and a hay-tedder, at Saline last week, the tedder was second best, losing a wheel in the fight. lts singular activities, however, so frightcned the milk horse that he ran away, dragging the wagon out of the fray. The disappointed horses that find an empty trough at Hendrick's corner, as well as those that find the drinking fountain a delusion these thirsty days, are said to be plotting a hot time for the water works man - Ypsilantian. There should exist a bond of sym pathy between these horses and the aurora-faced cotton-spitters of Hills dale county. Mr. Smart, a Milán peddler, saw a little boy in front of a runawa) team, and wishing his reputation to justify his name, snatched the hu from the hoofs of death, while hi own team took fright, sowed hi wares broadcast and smashed th wagon. Then he muttered to him self, "By this, I perceive how Smart man may be a fooi! Nex time J '11 keep right on peddling.' A stranger walked into Milán last week and feil in a faint. When he vas revived he said he was a G. A. l., named Chester Harvey, from Milwaukee, Wis., bound on foot to Painesville, O.; that he had eaten nothing for two days except berries. A ticket was bought for him to his lleged destination, and where he will faint next nobody in kindhearted Milán can teil. Mr. Britten, a young Republican tump speaker from Illinois, showed up at the Washtenaw county Repubican convention, last week, and getting a chance to put in his oar, aid "he was glad to address so inelligent looking an audience; their lothes looked intelligent; intelligence shone right out, through their lothes." We hadn't supposed the lepublican convention of Washtenaw was in that fix! In the interest of decency it should have had more Republican protection, in the way of patches!


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News