How To Talk Very Uninterestingly

If any simple thing pleases you, say it is "splendid" or "perfectly grand." If it annoys you, cali it "perfectly awful" or "horrid." If it amuses yon, cali it "awfully funny." If it is pretty, cali it "perfectly beautiful." If yon liie a person, declare that she is "just too lovely for anything," or that he is "just too splendid for anything." Make it a general rule to say "awfully" or "perfectly" whenever you mean rather or considerably or very. In short, use the strongest words you can think of on all occasions. You will soon find that people will care very little about what you say, and will only listen to you when politenesa compels them to.