Adrian Press Washtenawisms

In Ann Arbor they cali a simple drunk, "painter's paralysis." Delirium tremens is probably called "inspired aberration." Ann Arbor is in the throes of a building boom. New houses are being built and old ones repaired, and the bugs dislodged. # An Augusta horse, belonging to John Gables, ended his life last week, while trying to kick the cow catcher off a locomotive. The branch Keeley institute is said to be bleaching out the Ypsi bums, there being an average of forty on hand, all the time. Will Bishop, of Whittaker, while backing a wagon out of the barn, struck a post with a wheel and received a tongue-lashing that cracked some of his ribs. Marcellus Harris, of Stony Creek, was engaged in unloading hay, last week, when someone dropped a fork, the tines of which penetrated the fleshy portion of his back, very deep. The attention of the game warden is called to this violation of the law against spearing. A young Ann Arbor attorney secured a divorce for a pretty woman and refusing to be paid in smiles, served a heartless summons on her just as the train whistled that was to have borne her henee, She paid, but was so mad that the metal pin in her back hairbecatne oxidized. -i, ■ ■ i # # # At Ypsilanti, last week, occurred a well attended reunión of the ExAlcohol club of the Keeley institute. The once ruby noses were white and the cardinal of the features had faded but the club was happy; still we are down on this gold cure because it does not recognize silver. The Grass Lake News is cuffing up the ministers for not preaching more against Sunday excursions, and charges them with being bribed with half fare passes. The fellow has evidently not been born again. Search him and it will be queer if a wJwle fare pass is not fished out of his hind pocket. Hon. John J. Robison is again a Sharon farmer, but he had forgotten a thing or two when he got back to the old place. He never thought but vhat he could stop a mowing machine with his foot and now he limps. He should have learned by the fate of Pingree not to monkey with the machine. Grand Rapids had more rain in June than any other place in the state. The total amounted to 13. 22 inches or nearly three times as much as feil in Ann Arbor. - Argus. And yet we aré told on holy authority that it rains on the just and unjust alike. We feel perfectly safe in making this remark as each city will feel flattered by it. The following from the Register shows that the relations between Arm Arbor and Ypsilanti are again strained: "A resident of Ypsilanti, who wanted to inform his neighbors of a fact and was fearful that the printer was not equal to the task, tacked up a notice the other day reading 'Houze fur rent. Inchoirue on preymeysis.' " Chelsea people put in all their spare time suing the Michigan Central. Two new cases have been started, both of which should cost the company some cash. A wire connected with a signal, runs across the grounds, a few inches high - just right to catch a toe. Two toes were caught and two wrists, valued at $5,000 each, have been broken; henee these suits. The following appears in the Ypsilanti Commercial: "I want a good, honest christian man, one that can read and write for a husband, about 30 years or younger, right away, address Miss Carrie E. Schaffer, Willis, Mich. Come immediately or write." "No postponement on account of the weather." Carrie should collar some customer on his way to the Keeley jag infirmary - not returning from it; or, possibly she possesses charms to make a blind man happy. Go early and avoid the rush. The farmer can get as near, if not nearer, to nature and nature's God, as the great men, in great crowds in great cities. - Wm. Lambie in Ypsi. Commercial. Bill errs. We have with us the new egg, 3 mo. old, homeopathi.ed milk, fresh fruits, full of vvorms - picked last week - oleomargarine and various kinds of butter, which remind us that at some very remofe period they had a creator. We feel that we stand pretty nigh as close to the incomprehensible as does Farmer Lambie, if not a little nigher. Bullheads six inches long were recently caught in the Ann Arbor waterworks reservoir by the marshal, health officer and an alderman, who blushed as they looked the poor fish in the face. -a Wilfred B. Phillips has come all the way from Watertown, N. Y., to edit the Ann Arbor Register and inform the inhabitants of this wild and woolly neck of the lower piece of Michigan that Grover Cleveland was a hangman! It really seems a pity that one so well versed in ancient lore, should waste his valuable labors in the political field, on the inhabitants of the huckleberry swamps of the second district, when he might as a cryptologist render the world such inestimable service by unlocking the sealed book and telling the year in which rapid transit was discovered in Detroit. There is also a rumor of the death of PontiusPilate. He might trace that up.