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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Adrian Press Washtenawisms image
Parent Issue
Day
30
Month
September
Year
1892
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

The Chelsea Herald has been sinning twenty-two years. The Manchester Enterprise is now. a quarter of a century old. Manchester has no bank, but wants one and is likely to have it. The mayor of Vpsilanti, in view of the cholera scare, calis on the citizens tó disinfect themselves. The editor of the Ann Arbor Democrat has lived to be called "Mrs." Bower, by the Ypsilantian. The Ypsilanti Commeróial regrets that it cannot pay debts with complimentary tickets to fairs. VVhat a confounded good looking fellow that editor Coe, must be! Ypsilanti children steal fruit by the basketful, and the, Times believes that in some instances their parents send them. Parents educating their children for the penitentiary! The band of cholera breeding Turks, with their five performing bears - the cleanest and most bugless of the gang - are through with Lenawee and doing Washtenaw, beginning with Dexter. Of the twenty-one Ypsi. Normal students, who, during vacation went into Indiana and Illinois to sell Dr. Chase's receipt book, nine have retu.ned. The other twelve are supposed to have been torn by dogs or ly'nched. i With the $3,000 received from the Mich. Central, for damages by being shut inside the Jackson gates and having his head broken, by a scared team, Augustus Clark, of Napoleon, is fixing up his place very slick. An important element in our education is to know how to adapt ourselves to all the different circumstances we are incident to. - Dexter Cor. Argus. Very important, but not as much so as when skin-tight pantaloons were in fashion. E. L. Hough, of Ypsilanti, is in the house with his back off the hinges. He jumped over a dashboard. He didn't want to jump and didn't expect to, and was surprised that he did, but when the horse stops suddenly, nature is apt to takeits course. 4 Ypsilanti boys whose stomachs yearned for Dr. Kinne's tempting pears, gobbled a lot, but were so smitten with remorse that they returned the fruit and begged the doctor's pardon. Noble, young spirits! But they had been watched, and it was return the pears or go to jail. If he presents at your door a woe besmeared countenance and a letter from Rev. Mr. Carman, of Ann Arbor, and begs aid, paste him in the eye; and you may or may not let the left hand know what the right hand doeth, just as you please. He is a fraud and Rev. Carman never wrote the letter. Hit him twice. A grievance book has been opened at the Ann Arbor city clerk's office, where all who have complaints to make can enter them. The clerk will get tired of that. The number of people who will come in to visit with him will make the office look like a hall for holding mass meetings. The clerk may not be able to add up long -columns of figures, but he'll fancy he is the president, holding a levee every day. Following the invention of a marine mowing machine at Manchester, another brainy fellow there, has solved the problem of cutting corn by machinery. The contrivance consists of a stone boat armed at either side with knives. As the horse moves, the thing chops off two rows or corn and the shins of everybody within reach, and the corn, falling upon the boat is bound and kicked off, by the man whose legs are yet unwounded. In overhauling our exchanges this week we uncovered from its wra-ps, the infant Monroe County Republican, Volume 1, No. 1. It acknowledges no parents and is evidently a child of luck - of some kind. lts 'birthplace is Dundee and it wears the Harrison bib, and shrieks for the protection nursirig bottle. We can teil it now, that it was born in the wrong time of the moon and too late in the fall to do well, and as its parents seem disinclined to own it, will probably be in the poor house before spring, unless somebody who wants to be U. S. Senator, provides it with a wet nurse. It must not expect to get through the winter on farrow cow's milk;but before it dies, it may have learned one thing, viz: That the tariff is a tax and howling "protection to American industries" is merely so much noise. It takes cash to run a newspaper. However we like the looks of the paper and , wish it real well.

Article

Subjects
Ann Arbor Argus
Old News