Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Fred Hitchcock, of Milan, fooled with the ivy vine and now he is one of the swellest young men of the town. Hanover, Jackson county, is crowded and the Local is shaking up the Shylocks for not building more houses. There is an alarming preponderence of young ladies at the Normal, j this f all, and bankruptcy stares the; boys' pocket books in the face. More dogs have just eaten more Mooreville sheep. It is about all the farmers of Washtenaw can do to satisfy the canine demand for mutton. The roof of an old building at Ypsilanti, last week, feil on a man named Smith. He was pulled out, much damaged, and he and the building are undergoing repairs. The Courier says that Aid. Prettyman, of Ann Arbor, is an athlete, and once fixed a Chicago foot-ball player so that he had to be carried off the field. Pretty man, that, for an alderniaa." It is written, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me"; therefore the Milan thief who last week stole the squash erop of Rev. Mr. Mudge, is in a pretty serious scrape. Dexter has placed a new forc pump on the public well, bough ioo feet of hose and has severa pailsful of water in the well. Xo let the fire fiend come down wit] smoke and flame, and see wbat a sozzling he'll get. The city needs sewers more than it needs anything else. - Ann Arbo Courier. Yes, most of the campaign slush now has to be worked off through the Republican newspapers. Chol era Hable to break out any time. The sheriff of Washtenaw las week, captured a batch of six stee saws, that were sent through the mail by a former prisoner and were designed to release a prisoner now in the jail. The prisoner is stil "playing checkers with his nose." The sidewalk in front of the Baptist church at Manchester, while being repaired last week, was left in an unsafe condition over night and scarcely has there been such a falling from grace since the fall of Adam. The devil is just as likely to establish a pitfall in front of a church, as anywhere. The report that station agent Spencer, of Manchester, has the gout is a campaign lie. A trainman dropped a plank on Spencer's foot and when blamed, muttered something about feet that took up a whole depot yard, and said he guessed the plank had to fall somewhere. Anotber life sacrificed for the cause of science. A bird was dissected in the physiology class, Tuesday, to illustrate muscular structure. - Saline Observer School Notes. If it was not a boarding house spring chicken, the class learned little of ornithalogical muscularity. Peters, populist candidatefor congress, brags that he recently conI verted thirty citizens of Webster, Washtenaw, to populism. We hate tosay anything harshof a candidate, because somebody might think we were warped;still we cannot dismiss the feeling that Peters is a four-cornered liar. Scott, of Ypsilanti, sniiled last week, when told he was a father. He smiled again, but a little gastly, ! in half an hour, when informed that he vvas twice a parent. Later the i I physician announced to him that I last returns showed triplets; but he j ! "never smiled again," and wouldj have. licked the doctor had heputj I another stroke Qn the tally sheet. ■ John Saurs, car repairer was under a car at Milán last week when ! the train started. John Saurs start and rolled and tumbled to the out-i side, scarcely saving himself from i dismemberment. He was bruised some and scared at least a thousand dollars worth, but strangely.enough, ! hasn't yet sued the company. . . . . . The Press congratulates editor P. ! G. Suekey, of the Deujtsche Hausfreund, on his nomination by the Democrats for treasurer of Vashtenaw county. Mr. Suekey is an editor of ability as we know. We exchange with the Hausfreund and have never seen anything in the paper that we disapproved of. In fact we can't read it at all and if Mr. Suekey can, we know he must ' be capable of holding the office to which he will be elected. Justice J. V. N. Gregory, of Dex ter, efïected his first matrimonia splice a few days ago. He sentenced the parties for life in the most ur bañe manner, but where he made his bad break, was in wishing the bride "many returns of the presen happy occasion. " Two dollars, the strictjy legal fee, was all the groom would give him after that. Ypsilanti has developed a musical prodigy in the person of CyrilTyler, who, under the management of the famous Edgar Strakosch, will sing in ninety concerts in the largest cities between New York and San Francisco. - Ann Arbor Argus. And yet, when Tyler first began to practice his voice, a saw-filer doing business next door, left his home and has never since been heard of. The Sylvan Center postoffice, Washtenaw, has "busted," for want of business. Liabilities - Ten per cent of salary, for republican campaign purposesand responsibility for carrying the town, under penalty of dismissal. Assets:-()ne stove, leveled up with bricks (account of broken leg;) box of sawdust with nicotine discoloration; printed sign, "Don't spit on the stove." Besides the foregoing-are some withered expectations of future greatness, never to be realized, and a dozen blank sheets for making out quarterly reports. The postmaster thinks he will engage in some active business. No person should be trusted to kill a dog unless he thoroughly understands the business. If he has had no experience, let him practice on a dead dog till he becomes proficient. If he has no dead dog, he must kill one for the purpose. The Arm Arbor officers have the thing down to a pat science, as shown by the Washtenaw Times. It seems that some buil dog there had swallowed his under lip, and was acting so strangely that officers Collins and Schott were summoned. Collins hadalantern.andSchott shot the dog three times, thus making a sure thing of it. After the executioners came two undertakers. They found the dog digging for a rat under the sidewalk, and promptly let four charges into him. The animal then sat down to rest, and so did the undertakers. Finally the dog arose and resumed rat hunting, and was so engaged when qne of the undertakers killed him with a club and hastily buried him, lest revivification should set in.