Adrian Press Washtenawisms

A Washtehaw farmer, smart but nót honest sold as hickory, a load of green basswood to an honest butnot smart university student, and so tickled was he - the farmer - over the bargain that he repaired to a saloon and getting drunk, feil down and broke one of his rascally legs. He would have sued the city but was too drunk to afterward lócate the spot where the enemy "downed" him. As for the student, the country will watch" with felicitude, his career, expecting that some day he will announce hisdiscovery of blood circulation in a wooden leg. Miss Fay, the alleged materializer of people who, having no use for their natural bodies, have sold them to the medical department of the university, or otherwise disposed of them and gone into a spirit business, gave an entertainment recently at Ypsilanti. The lady has a reputation in four worlds - the old, the new the upper and the nether - for raising spirits and cash. She did nothing remarkable in Ypsilanti, however, owing it is supposed to the large number of doubters present. The committee though, were much mashed on Miss Fay, and her bright smile haunts them still. Why are the students, and the University everlastingly and all the time held up by a certain class of people; - among them being some farmers - as a bugbear? - Arm Arbor Courier. The same thing has often puzzled üs and we have spent many anxious hours, vainly striving to no purpose to solve it. However, after walking clear around it and gazing up at it, we have through our own self-deficiency, excommunicated knowledge and triangulation, arrived at the cause. It is entirely owing to thoe four-story collarsl Why, only the other day a student thus armed, feil down and jerked his collar si little higher and they have had to feed him by means of a step ladder and shovel, ever since. Refe.rring to the board of superisors, an Ana Arbor man remarked nthe hearing of the Argus: "Well, liey are a pre'tty fine looking body f men, aren't they?" His bill was Uowed at its full face. An honester nan would have expressed the truth nd obtained "leave to withdraw his laim." Once, a man went down from erusalem to Jericho and fell atnong hieves, wlio woundedhim and "held íim up" for the four bits in his pcket and compelled him to pawn lis revolver for money to get home. Christian Bruestley, the other day, ent down from Jerusalem to Ann rbor; and because he insisted on aving a little fnn with the boys, a op jumped the Christian, and a jusíce jammed him into jail. He has ince been "peeking through the rates," longing for the good samaritan and the loan of $7 to pay his fine. History repeats itself - with slight variations. Occasionally, students are seen bout the Normal with an appearnce that betokens a lack of sleep. - Ypsilanti Commercial. This is evidently one of the results of co-education. Students are always more or less affected by their suroundings, not only in the eyes trut n the waist and arm. # # # Ex-state Gil Inspector Platt, went ip to Lansing to show the "hayeeds" that he was "the clearquill," vhen it carne to electing Luce to the United States senate. He returned íome feeling like he was a dog that had tackled a hedgehog. j The editor of the Commercial vouches for the following as being aken from the account book of one of the first young ladies of Ypsianti: Gloves S 2 25 Marsh mallows 30 Dressmaker 1200 Charity 01 Perfumery 1 50 Charity is certainly on the gain in Ypsilanti. While services at the M. E. church of Ypsilanti were in progress, on a recent Sunday, the devil was outside glazing the path for unwary feet_, and many were they vvho feil from grace immediately after the benediction. The safe way is through the lobby. It is now possible to go out that way without being buttonholed to help Luce. Progressive pedro, in a virijlent form, has attacked the University city, and the medical professors there claim there is no more help for i than there is for progressive paraly sis. , Overat Free which we believe is in YVashtenaw, lives a man (may the Lord help him) whose regular meal is twenty-four pancake with etcets., three times a day. Hi name is A. C. Gale. .