Go tó the M. E. church tonight and hear what Bishop Vincent has to say about "That Girl." - Argus. The old man had better be careful what hesays about her. She may have a big brother. Mr. J. ,. Gaíe, of Vree Church, is rejoicing over a pretty girl baby, bom last - Ypsilanti Commercial. Not surprising. That's the fellow who ate the twenty-four pancakes at a meal. # # # Pitjtsfield young people sit plump down on the straw in the sleigh and pull the buffalo-robe over their heads. It is so cold that it is absolutely dangerous to ride any other way, don't you know. The Patrons of Industry, of Nora, are about to disband, and are puzzled what to do witta the balance remaining in their treasury. - Argus. Evidently none of them have ever been in a republican legislature. # "Ninety-five" of the University has begun preparation for the baseball season. A captain and manager has beenelected, and the umpire is fitting himself for his duties, by running in a field with a bad-tempered sheep. Those Ann Arbor students who "cooned" four cans of oysters, settled by paying $15. Even at that price the luxury of the exploit was worth its cost. The real valué of this world's goods depends wholly on circumstances. The Dexter literary club recently debated the question: "Islife worth living?" The village undertaker and gravestone maker both said it wasn't, and advised people to die as rapidly as health andstrength would perrnit. # # Present steal, imperfect Stoll, perfect rascal did steal. Herman Stoll broke into the Bethlehem church, Ann Arbor, a few nights ago and cracked the contribution box, containing funds for the poor. But it was not intended by Providence that Stoll should escape the just penalty of his crime, which it was foreseen from the beginning he would commit. He was therefore ordained with feet of prodigious size, so that in all Washtenaw no feet were found like unto the feet of Stoll. In his hurry to carry away the money, he accidentally left his tracks behind, which were instantly recognized and Stoll was ruined. Health Officer Kapp, of Ann Arbor, gives public notice to the denizens of that bailiwick, that vaccination has been recommended in all cases and that the health officer be called upon, a recommendation he entirely approves. In short, bare your arms, and come up to the scratch, but don't remove your Kapp when you get an introduction to the virus. Another year is folded away in the dim cloister of time. - Stockbridge Sun. O, mud! that's no such thing. It has been nailed up against thegable end of eternity to cure, and will be exhibited by and by at the great inter-world exposition, as the year on our earth that witnessed the worst "saw-buck" legislature in Michigan that ever spit tobáceo juice behind the desks of the capítol. Don't get sentimental! Dick Marsh and his family, of Saline, are a pretty well fixed household. Marsh, himself, has a cushionsit in the auditor general's office; Mrs. Marsh is the postmaster of Saline, and their son, the onlychildin the family, is a senate messenger. Other office holders in the state feel that they cannot sufficiently express their gratitude to a kind providence for withholding further issue from these fortúnate parents. A tramp stole a shirt at Ann Arbor, last week. Listen to his tale of woe! A deputy sheriff sworehesaw trampy steal the shirt at half past three, p. m. The newly enshirted traveler confessed to the theft but went on the stand and swore that the deputy sheriff was a bug eaten Har, for swearing to half-past three, as the time of stealing the shirt, when the actual date of that transaction was nine o'clock in the raorning. He asked that punishment be visited on the officer. Thus it is seen that tramps abhor anything like downright dishonesty, almost as much as hiiman being-o. "Honesty," a correspondent of the Ann Arbor Courier deals the Republican legislature a blow on the bugle, for its acceptance of railroad passes. If "Honesty" is not careful, he will be unceremoniously bounced from the councils and confidence of his party. He is awfully in the minority. But of course it is wrong for legislatórs to accept railroad passes. They are only for editors. The Michigan University will be allowed 3,000 square feet of space, at the World 's Fair. This will be sufficiently ampie for chemical purposes, and possibly give room for old Nagle's pickling vat. The curiosities sometimes seen in it wotikl make a wholc show of itself . The Ypsilanti Coffee Roaster Co. has made an assignrtient - upon what grounds, it is not Tearned here, perhaps upon the coffee grounds. The concern seemed to lack the cream and sugar of a successful enterprise. "Every peg fits some hole," remarked the Ann Arbor Argus "Lounger'whosoonafter rose from a dry goods box and tore his pants. And yet, he believes'that the municipal club "needs to rub up against the world a little?"