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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Adrian Press Washtenawisms image
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The city of Anti Arbor feels that it needs another ward, imagining that it looks like aboywho has outjrown h is first pants, or a stage actress with her dress too short in the neck at both ends. Miss Jennie Harrington, of Whittaker, was recently married, but almost immediately disliked her husband and returned to her mother. This melancholy incident teaches the need of a probationary clause in the marriage law. # # # The North Sharon society have a new minister, a new carpet for the rostrum, a new chair for the organist and a stock of Cuba gum, fresh from Burroughs' factory, for the use of the choir, between "chewnes." An Ypsilanti hackman is out with a new hack and insists that it is the finest public carriage in the city. His claim is disputed by one of the undertakers; but the latter is at a great disadvantage as he can prove nothing by his customers. The Ypsilanti Sentinel presents the most tenable hypothesis of the recent meteoric phenomena, of any that we have yet heard. It says: "Our explanation of these meteors is that they are the fragments of the National Republican party, which went up the 8th of November, just coming down." The only reasonable doubt thrown upon this theory, is the improbability of these fragments again reaching ouratmosphere as early as three months from date. "Town pride is a good thing to have," says the Dexter News. "Pride goeth before distruction." Our preference would be for a town clock with an hourly procession of the Twelve Apostles, and a sun dial to show that the clock was telling the truth. Chelsea Congregationalists have boosted the salary of their minister up another hundred dollars. They feit pretty weak after the effort and the pastor saved himself froru fainting by catching hold of one of the wings of the arch-angel. Ann Arbor wants her charter amended so that she can pay taxes twice a year. Two classes of people are .opposed to the "single tax" theory. The Ann Arborites who want to pay'taxes twice a year, and that other kind of fellows, who oppose paying them once; among whom are the single-taxers. The preceptor of the Chelsea high school has resigned and gone into the boot and shoe business, at Grand Rapids. Higher and highef rises the aspiration of this pedagogue, from the culture of minds to the salvation of soles. May he be "heeled" in this world and saved at the "last," when his body "waxes" cold at his final "end !" John Stagg, a Milán miller, would have been mortally mangled the other day but for a miraculous escape. His coat caught in a chain belt and he was rapidlygalloping toward eternity, when he happily grabbed a post and held on with teeth and eyebrows till the mili was stopped by the proprietor. He was not much hurt, but in the matter of clothing closely resembled Adam before the transgression. Among the most interesting features of a newspaper, is the typographical error. In the manslaughter of names - woman's laughter as well - it shines in the role of heavy tragedy, for which sometimes the editor often gets blown up, and, and occasionally licked. The Whittaker correspondent of the Milan Leader complains because Peter Stouder's house was turned into a barn; Miss Wortley was announced as "Wartey" and Miss Harrington was recorded as a married woman, by an offending "Mrs." He wants the warts cured on Miss Wortley, Mrs. Harrington's marriage ?nnulled, and Peter Stouder's family bröughtfrom the stable and stanchionëd in the house. But why hould the dry goods merchant look down upon the teacher, or the teacher upon the dry goods man ? - Argus Lounger. Dunno; wouldn't be surprised if one were a trifle shorter than the other. Speaking of short people, the "shortest" man mentioned in the bible was not Knee-high-miah, nor Bildad, the Shoe-hight, but Peter, who said: "Silver and gold have I none." There is a rattling among the dry bones at Saline. For years she has been sitting in the confines of eternity, served by one railroad having such bad connections that one can hardly get there, and absolutely cannot get away. Suddenly Saline slides to the front. Surveys for two trunk lines from Detroit to Chicago, each independent of the other, have been made. Both may go ; so may neither. But at present Saline feels I that taking all chances of failure into j account, she wouldn't trade herself off fpr Ann Arfoor, or even Ypsilanti, with the anti-juggery and mineral spring thrown in - smell and all.


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News