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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Adrian Press Washtenawisms image
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Dexter is said to "have an eye out" for modern improvements. It is thuseen that she will have to be very careful of the remaining eye. Milán hens, lately combined, reduced the output and rushed the price of eggs up to 4ocentsa dozen, just like some other great manufacturing institutions. M Taka Kawada, a Jap, is lecturing in Washtenaw on "The Status of Women in Japan. " "Taka Kawada," in English, signifies, "Take a coy widow." Dr. Huff of the University, will soonlectureon "Dental Prosthetics" - somethingnew in the college. We are not now prepared to state what "dental prosthetics" is - or are. Some new species of torture, we suppose. The Ann Arbor street raihvay company gets ripped up the back by theArgus "Lounger" in several particulars. Serves them right. The "Lounger" should have had the benefit of the pass long ago. The Ann Arbor health board has recommended that all citizens not heretofore vaccinated, be touched up immediately. The small-pox is around in Washtenaw with its overcoat off, looking for situations. Another saloon may go in at Petersburgh. The Sun says Petersburgh doesn't need it, and evidently regards the Englishman's spelling of "saloon" thecorrect one viz.: "with a 'hess' and a 'hay' and a 'hel,' two 'hos' and a 'hen.' " ■:■ ï John Cook, a Milán coal heaver, is said by the Leader to have become worth a million dollars, as that is the valué he places on his new-born daughtcr, and he has stopped work. Better keep right on heaving coal, John. Comparatively few sons-inlaws turn out worth a cent. Gov. Rich tumbled out the democrat county agent in Washtenaw county, at the tick of the clock, and appointed D. B. Green, of Ypsilanti. Mr. Green is about a hundred years oíd, and has been in office 97 J years. He knew Josephus before he wrote his history. Abner Gregory, who kept a gambling place in Ann Arbor, placed his confidence on the wrong card, when he supposed the authorities wouldn't jerk him up and make him pay $25, for they did. Alas, how little faith can be placed in human nature ! Who would have thought Gregory would have been arrested ? Quite a little bump of the genius is cariied under the hat of Walter Stimpson, of Milán. He has invented a thing which when attached to a scale, not only indicates the weight of the article, but figures up the price per pound. With a slight adjustment to circumstances Simpson's contrivance might be worked for the missionary cause, by attaching it to a phonographic contribution box, which would then announce to the congregation just how many shingle nails and brass buttons had been thrown in for the heathen, and who threw them. It would also act as a check on the rapacity of the deacons who might otherwise embezzle these articles for themselves and defraudthe cannibal of Christian charity, thus compelling him to eat a missionary or two, in reimbursement of damages. The Ypsilantian crytologist and professor of ancient literature, has discovered the origin of the word "snolligoster," "sno," in Hebrew, meaning snow, and "goster" gasty, the connective "lli" adding intensity. By this it appears that a cold, snowy day was a "snolligoster," the word being closely allied to, if not derived from Noah's remark about the flood being "a regular rip snorrer," an expression equivalent to ourmodern exclamatory of "Beats the devil !" , The Ypsilantian complains of the brutality to horses, and asks if there is no remedy. There could be by the revival of the whipping post. Cruelty to animáis should be punished with the lash. Our contemporary further inquires, "Where are our ladies always quick to do a deed of raercy?" The ladies ! At %the risk of being hurled. down from the pinnacle of their Lucifer from heaven, we declare that ladies themselves are not the gentlest and most considérate of horsemen.


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News