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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

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A Milán dog went insane frorn getting a bone in his throat. We have known a dog to get well, with a spine in his back. The populists should have taken their canvass last week. Everybody belonged to the-middle-of-the-road party. - Ypsilantian. Where was Peters, that he might number the hosts? A chicken with two hearts - one attached to its liver - was lately dressed for the table of the Stevens hotel, Milan. Strange town, that Milan. Two men, there, incidentally bumped their heads together the other day, and one of them has been cross-eyed eversince. Who can explain this phenomenon? The team of the Hon. H. D. Platt, of Vpsilanti, ran away the other day, pitching out the honorable Henry, "neck and erop." He is said to have remarked, as he reversed extremities and shook the snow out of his ears: "Lost! all lost!" Then recovering somewhat, he added: "Why, damme! I thought it was the formal ballot for United States senator! I believe I must have been a little dazed. Where in has my team gone? Burglars have just robbed Robbins, of Milan, of $97. Never left him so much as a clew. Eli Roberts, of Lasalle, had apatella in the right leg, but he feil and broke it, the other day. # Buckhart, of Lima, saw a streak of sunshine the other day and went out and sheared 60 sheep, supposing it was June. They have at last caught a man violating the odinances of Chelsea. My, but didn't they make him sweat blood like a flannel shirt! Ypsilanti's prosperity is closely knit with her underwear factory which last year made $250,000 worth of goods and employed 300 persons And now it is proposed by the re ligious students of Chicago University to form an intercollegiate chess club, taking in the Northwestern University and the U. of M. with themselves in the triangular concern. - Ann Arbor Courier. The foregoing we believe contains the first accusation of piety ever laid upon Chicago, and shoujd not be accepted with rash credulity. Some newspaper men's nerves can stand hardly anything. There's Gunsonhauser, formerly of Hillsdale, who went to Grand Ledge to edit a newspaper. He is kicking nth all of his feet, because he is bounded on one side by a roaring mill-dam and on the other by a brass band, while a sausage-grinder is doing business in the basement. He adds: "Nowif we could get a boiler works to lócate on the roof!" Artist Gibson, of Ann Arbor, secures the contract or making about 30,000 negatives for World's Fair exhibitors, the work to be performed on the grounds. This goes to prove that positive people do not get on in the world any better than those who are more "negative." Mathias Ehnis, of Northfield, was very much annoyed, the otherevening, by being hoisted over an eight rail fence and having his sleigh smashed and a horse killed by an ill-tempered freight engine. ' It knocked the "h" plumb out of his hind or "caboose" name. 1 The Ann Arbor Register complains of the presence in the city of a "Peeping Tom," who creeps under the windows of female students and turns the blinds. An investigation through a slightly raised window, with a squirt-gun and pepper sauce, might accomplish excellent missionary work on the fellow. H 'S A Lindon, Monroe county man. sat dejectedly by his smoulderinj fire, wondering where wood and thc next meal was to come from. Just then he heard a hen cackle and rushing to the coop, found a new laid Joy! Hooray! Immediately he dressed him in his best, and gayly carried the egg to Milán, where he exchanged it for a large supply of groceries and received back enough money to buy acordof wood. The personael of Cleveland's cabinet; the "rump" riot in the Kansas legislature; the death of Blaine, and the Pacific Ham Sandwich difïïculty, had strained the public sensibilities till it did seem as though they could bear no more. Now we are hit with anóther nerve-racher: - Does the new partner in the Ann Arbor Argus finish up his last name with one "s" or more? The newspapers are using from one to three, in announcing him. Is it Curtis, Curtiss or Curtisss? Speak! In the Adventist printing office at Battle Creek, where 300 hands are employed, all are assembled in the office chapel every morning. and prayers and religious services held before going to work. This is a very worthy custom, which we fear is not caref ully observed n the office of our valued contemporary the Adrián Press. - Ypsilantian. Well, you see, this office doesn't go much, on spectacular religión, believing rather in individual piety and closet prayer. We don 't make as much of a "holy show" as some people, but we bag more at the knees. # # The North Lake lyceum has gone into a decline. It has never enjoyed good health since debating the question "Resolved, That the milky way is eternity's equator." A son to Aid. Kitson, of Ann Arbor. It knocked a hole as big a's a barn door, in salary, to furnish the cigars. It will yet come to this that Ann Arbor aldermen must rereive better pay or reduce the output.


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News