Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Chelsea's municipal debt is $740. - 24. She is willing to pay the 24 cents if the creditors will throw off the Í740. Fred Scott is a colored dental student at the University. A look at his ivorics is enough to cure the toothache. W. W. Schurtz is about to open a new hotel at Milan. He feels that the Milanese have been without Schurtz long enough. Washtenaw fox-squirrels as well as the quails have fared badly at the hands of ruthless winter, and are very scarce this spring. Dexter's dilapidated sidewalks will be abolished and new ones laid. The present council is resolved to distinguish itself.or "bust a gallus."It gives Saline the electric light fever to witness the nightly halo that hovers above the head of Clinton, and she sighs for a nimbus of her own. Scarlet fever is disappeaing from among the Normal students. The heart malady continúes about the same, and gangrene, it is feared, will set in with the hot season. It is claimed that sixty-five Pittsford voters lost their franchise and probably a democratie victory by not marking the ballot which they had the inspectors stuff into the box. Some of the owners of lawns in Ann Arbor have been covering them with phosphate, and it smells worse to the pedestrian than the republican victory to the democratie politician. C. S. Smith, Ypsilanti,has closed one of his meat markets. He found that he must either stop running in opposition to himself or make an assignment, the competition taking all the profits. Ohe of the features of the U. of M. exhibit at the World's Fair will be a collection of all the books written by U. of M. professors. - Argus. Now why this vicious blow at the World's Fair? It is quite likely that Milan will soon possess the electric light. She already has the green and yellow "straddlebugs," that gather around to look the are in the eye, and wards fall down on the back of the Milanese neck. There is a good deal of crimination and recrimination at Ann Arbor concerning the removal of the rnicroscopic pillopathy department of the University to Detroit. Dilute it, gentlemen! Dilute it! You are giving it to us too strong. Columbus didn't discover America in vain. The Chelsea Columbian Dramatic Club has just cleared $80 on an entertainment, notwithstanding the vital question as to whether the great egg balancer did or did not wear whiskers is still unsettled. The four English evangelical xhurches of Ypsilanti are engaged in a much needed revival. The waters of the sanitarium are potent for the cure of physical maladies; but there is a moral leprosy in the town that refuses to budge,.even for strong smelling mineral water. It's just awful the way the Monroe County Hustler, of Dundee, scolds the republicans of that burg. It says they must stop splitting immediately, and vote straight for the good old party, "who has preserved our Union for the past twenty-five years." Bless us, sonny, who is that party? Dr. William L. Moore, of the University, has resigned his position as demonstrator of nervöus diseases, to become head surgeon on a Hawaiian sugar plantation. The casualties of the sugar farm out there exceed those of the standing army. But why need the doctor go? As we understand it, Mr. Beal, of the Courier, has gone to the islands with a tug for the purpose of towing them home. "Does a classical education benefit the average man?" is the title of a recent exhaustive contribution, by Prof. D'Ooge, of Ann Arbor, to the March number of the Helios, official school organ, of Grand Rapids. Pay? Guess it does. We are acquainted with lots of college graduates who know everything from the Permian rocks to the cráter of Jupiter, who talk Latin and eat Greek, that are earning seventy-five cents a day almost every day that it doesn't rain. No man who is unfamiliar with astronomy and the fossils of thé megatherium can raise cabbages successfully. A Saline team became unmanage.able one day last week, and plunged through a window into a saloon, the driver seeming to show signs of having previously several times gone in through the door. The j keeper made a rootión to prevent the horses from entering the place, I but the neighs had it, and the motion was lost. The pen with which Gov. Rich signed the one-sixth of a mili bilí - one of the noblest acts of his life - has been received at the University, and will be mounted and preserved as an heirloom, so to speak. - Courier. This shows that the milis bill was after all a popular and salutary measure, endorsed even by republican Governor Rich.