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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

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The observatory wind guage registered a velocity of 48 miles an hour for the Ann Arbor portion of the storm of last week - Register. It has been blowing at about that rate at Ann Arbor ever since the líttle pill hospital discussion began. Marión Goodale, of Ann Arbor, has been seized by the "cops" and dragged before a justice, charged with peddling oil without a license of $3 per day. The wheels of justice in this instance seem to demand considerable grease. Geo. W. Chapman and wife, Liberian missionaries from Milan, are on their way home, firm in the belief that if the Lord had really desired them to convert the heathen He would not have planted there the deadly fevers that open their skeleton jaws for the Christian Evangelist. Amid the wreek and devastation wrought by the cyclone at Ypsilanti stood the residence of Jim Davis, unharmed. The delighted Jim, instead of falling down and giving the Lord thanks, stuck up a shingle which read, " Never touched me." The less fortúnate are now supplicating for a cyclone that will knock the conceit out of Jim Davis. A University student named Walters, from Essex, Ontario, by consulting the Washtenaw county directories, discovered a long-lost unele, and was rewarded with glad hospitality. The unele had never been struck by the bogus nephew and forged check dodge, or this genuine nephew's reception might have been embarrassed with bird-shot. One of the most pitiful sights following the tornado at Ypsilanti was Editor Osband, the protectionist, who was blown out of his clothes and afterwards appeared about the city, ciad in joints of stovepipe for pantaloons and a milk-can with the bottom knocked out, and arm-holes cut in, for a jacket. These with their tariff, he said, were all the protection he required. A commercial traveler who stopped at the Hawkins house, Ypsilanti, when the zephyr struck, has since had a run of nervous prostration. He was lif ted out of his couch and deposited on the dining room table, among the dishes and girls,in a state of destitution more deplorable than that of the man who had not on the wedding garment. Of course he wasn't there of his own free will and accord, and his strange behavior was pardoned; but even a drummer has a nervons system.


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News