Adrian Press Washtenawisms

The "open" hospitality of an Ypsilanti hotel, one recent Sunday, cost the proprietor a fine of Sio. Fine hotel, too. A humorous paper will be published from the Michigan University after October 15. This is not a laughing matter, but serious truth. Frank Hammond becomes postmaster of Whittaker. This is what comes of a well-ordered Ufe, a godly conversation, and a conscience void of offensive partisanship. # An appropriation of $20,000 for a Normal gymnasium causes the boys to kick high, the professors to throw up their hats, and the girls to fairly embrace their co-ed companions. The Argus says that "some one is playing ghost in Chelsea and frightening the editors of its two rival papers." It is not charged, however, that the ghost walks for the printers also. The Dexter News rakes open the embers of the late war by calling the last wind-storm a cyclone. It should have mentioned it as "the recent atmospheric maelstrom." The town clock escaped. The recent gale which worked such havoc in Lenawee county, passed through Washtenaw, and Ypsilanti was again devastated. The Sentinel announces "the farewell flight of a number of washings. " The zoology class has been working over-time this week. - Saline Observer, School Sketches. This, too, in defiance of the law punishing cruelty to brutes. Thecommissioners of public works of Ypsilanti promptly cut off water where rates had not been paid, June ist. "Whiskey straights" are now gaining favor there. The Ypsilantian declares the field day ball game "abominable." The Laws licked the Normals 24 to 13. Possibly the Normals were not yet entirely over that heart difficulty. The Chelsea Herald has been changed to a five-column folio. Indicates prosperity. The great lifesaver on the raging billows of country journalism is individual pluck. Mrs. Mary Hutchinson estimates the pain, humiliation and permanent damage sustained by an upset and shoulder dislocation caused by a heap of snow on an Ypsilanti sidewalk at 55000, and sues for it. A balance of over $600 has been discovered in the Ypsilanti city treasury, and if the legislative deformity had not gone home to plant potatoes, the council would try to get its expenditure at the World's Fair legalized. A few days ago, Dexter boasted a new three-story brick hotel. Today it has none. It existed in the imagination. The building was begun at the top, and the attempt to make the bricks stay up, by putting other bricks under them, proved a failure. The Ypsilanti Sentinel last week met a copy of itself, of the date of 1845. gazed sharply at the aged ghost before recognition took place; and then followed a chat, in which the "moss-grown reminiscence" of 48 years ago related to its younger self how at Albany in 1845 a row arose over a proposal to change rents from a produce to a cash basis. A star-gazer's society is about to 'be organized at Ann Arbor, and additional discoveries in the stellar world are looked for. For some years the performance of the moon has not been considered satisfactory, it being part of the time absent from duty and part of the time "full" when on duty. The demand is for more stars. m # Lewis H. Clement, of Ann Arbor has lost his dinged oíd fiddle, andis making such a fuss about it through the papers that we give him this "ad" free, to help him recover it It has a canary-colored back, liver colored face, the appearance of hav ing borne many a heavy "jag," anc is a lineal descendant of the "May flower." The Michigan Central tried last week to build a spur track in Ann Arbor, without the permission of the city government. But the authorities came down on the yard-master like a buzzard on a dead mule, slapped him in jail, turned the duphunny on him, and tore up the track. The Central didn't seem to know that the municipal government was loaded. Miss Keene, a blind preceptress of the Lansing blind school, visited Ann Arbor with a lady who went there with the legislative visitors. She was induced to permit an operation by Dr. Carrow, and lo, she sees and is happy. This would not be so had the state congress not visited "Athens." Yet there are people who are jumping onto the legisiature with both feet and abusing it like a pickpocket. Mayor Thompson, Prof. Chas. E. Greene and J. F. Lawrence have been appointed a committee to see the Michigan Central about the right of way across their track for the sewer. - Ann Arbor Argus. The new administration is not short of "cheek." It first runs the Central roadmaster into jail for laying a track in the city without permission, and tears up the track. Then it cooly asks the Central if it may cross the track with a sewer! The scientific world gazes with anguish upon the intestine war now raging at Ann Arbor between professors of the school of Microscopic Pilis. Of all pad ivords oí tongue or pon, The saddest are: "They caiinot kill earh Other with their mudi-sc?!.." Note. We slaved over this poetry more than two hours, trying to find something to rhyme with pen "pen" and at the same time express the idea. We finally did it by recourse to poetic license, and humbly trust t will be admired by E. F. Johnstone. Quoting Johnstone's poem dediated to the Adrián Press, the Press ays: The above with headline and inroduction appears in the last issue of the Ann Arbor Argus, and is what we get for trying to help a truggling genius along in the world. We are naturally philanthropic, and hough our auricular may not be attuned to all the symphonic beauies of the differential co-ordinate calculus; though we may lack that rythmic self-deficiency and excommunicated knowledge that enables some to course on the imaginable wings of fancy through the boundess and uninhabitable realms of ether, there has ever been a soft spot in our heart for the humble attic poet with one suspender and no shirt, and we have always feit ike helping him. Our last effort seems not to have proved "a howlng success." But we forgive everyhing that Mr. Johnstone has said, except the following threat: " I shall send a copy of my book o the editor of the Adrián Press." We sincerely trust that Mr. Johnstone will not do it. We have suffered enough in our time, and are getting along toward that period when the spirit cannot bear up under afniction. Even the assurance that "possibly the 'poetic feet' of the author may some day assist the editor to rise," fails to bribe us into further martyrdom. Not with our consent shall he send us a copy of lis work, and if he attempts to do it we'll fight Till f rom our flesli the bones lie hacked!