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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Adrian Press Washtenawisms image
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The '94 U. of M. law class has flashed out in crimson suitsjand resembles a flock of flamingoes. William Stoll, of Ann Arbor, charging with stealingagun, was last week arrested at Ann Arbor. He admits that he's Stoll, and also denies that he stole. A child at play set fire to the residence of Attorney Lehman, of Ann Arbor. Agreeable to an old habit, the ex-prosecutor caused the arrest of the flames. "The anti-hangers profess a great regard for human life," caustically remarks the Ypsilanti Sentinel. The legislature? Certainly - for their own lives. That's why the bill failed. The Dexter News knows of a Webster, Washtenaw youth, who aimed at a hawk in an appletree, pulled the trigger and down feil the big family cat, dead as a Sunday closing law. Rev. J. G. Morgan, of Ypsilanti, is again "on his feet," an artificial pedal taking the place of the one amputated, and he will "run with patience the race that isbefore him" with fewer bunions and chilblains than most of his brother ministers. Judge Cooley, of Arm Arbor, in an article in the Forum, opposes the annexation of the Sandwich Islands. The judgehas been mortally opposed to anything like a sandwich, ever since he was a meraber of the Interstate railroad commission and patronized the eating stations. Prof. Sill, connected wtth the State Normal for years, and a man with much gray matter in his skull, has resigned. The professor loves to feel that he knows something that other people do not, and theref ore refuses to give the reason for resigning, except thatit is not because of a "hot box" anywhere. # Judge Kinne, of Washtenaw, the better to determine a dispute about a sluiceway, visited the spot. Now the defeated litigants are trying to have him arrested for trespass. But what we started out to enquire was whether the judge has yet dug that tree out of the sidewalk in front of his residence. # Manager Shute, surviving manager of the destroyed Ypsilanti opera house, cannot feel that he is a manaCTAr witVinnt somethinar to manage, nd is trying to interest capital for a i ew building, on which he is willing o guarantee 5 per cent. per annum ' in investment. Someone took the case i ng the oil inspecting apparatus of nspector Cohn from the Michigan Zentral depot this morning. Who:ver has it will confer a favor by eturning to S. Cohn, Jackson.- .Vafhtenaw Evening Times. No man can inspect oil properly vithout previous practice. Surprisng that it has not occurred to Cohn :o search the pockets of Jim Gilbert, af Chelsea. The Dexter News is authorizedby the president of the village to state for the benefit of loafers who flock outside places of public gatherings and disturb the exercises, that there is punishment befóte death for evil doers, and the president will have a hand in the ante-mortem job, if the evil does not subside. That's the sort of an executive to build up respect for civil government. Gr'adually the amenities of newspapers, one toward another, are becoming more marked. Already the Ann Arbor Courier refers to the Register as "Our amiable and swee tempered (?) republican contempo rary," aud although it means abou tv. me thine as "lop-sided, blub ,er-faced idïot," it has a less írenching effect on a highly sensiive nervous system. The following vivid history of a jaseball match between Northville ind Ypsilanti is f rom the editor of ;he Northville Record: The Northville club picked them ap, turned them around, pounded them lengthways and crossways, u and down, forwards, backward every way and any way, until the half dozen coons, who accompanied the club over, actually turned pale with grief. The "broad oceaners" could not hit the sphere with any degree of success, and when they did, there was always a Northville man rieht under it. In spite of exhortation, entreaty and threats of personal violence, that Tohnstone, of Ann Arbor, has sent us his book! We have examined the volume and do net hesitate to say that henceforth, 'until we have accomplished the purpose, our chief aim in Ufe shall be to procure hisassassination. The mode of his death we are willing to leave to ourexecutioner, so that the contract be well and truly performed. The man nay be shot, stabbed, run through ,vith a red hot poker, have his brains knocked out with a bladder, or he be tied up and compelled to listen to tiis own poems till death puts an end to his agony. All that we shall require to know will be that he has been permanently separated f rom his breath, and the reward will be such that our assassin will thenceforth command respect for his wealth and live admired and honored by all who know him. It will not suffice to bring us an ear or a toe as proof of the poet's death. We exact no less than his liver or his heart, having his full name, E. F. Johnstone, (with the "e.") carved in the corner and bearing the great seal and coat of arms of the University of Michigan. But, though the man merits death - and nothing less will satisfy us, we would be just. ín sky-rocketing about the confines of his erratic field, this poetical northern light has touched with the coloring of a weird fancy, many objects within range of his polaric red fire. The Alaskan glint shoots forth conspiciously at various points. "The Devil's visit to Ann Arbor" is decidedly brimstonic and there is luried lunacy and an eruption of genius in other productions. The book is eccentric enough to repay perusal, and is embellished with . elegant half-tone engravings of the authorand professors of the university. Still, on the whole, Johnstone should have been killed before he wrote it.


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News