Willis's freshest affliction is a brass band. About every young man in Dexter has bought a top buggy and engaged a girl fot the 4th. Yet wool is nominal. Fowlerville objects to spending S6,ooo for fire protection. She doesn't want to pay more than 100 per cent. on the assessed valuation. A white rat at the University was inoculated with a typhoid germ from Ironwood, and in twelve hours was a corpse. Avoid the deadly Ironwood typhoid. The Dexter News has learnedthat young ladies of the village have the reprehensible practice of "cooning" flower gardens. Such girls should be watched, and perhaps sat up with. B. F. and W. W. Watts, of Ann Arbor, have on hand what will be a festering grief, the rest of their days. Their $1,000 2.29 colt went dead of heart disease on the Clio track last week, and they mourn without hope and without insurance. Darkness covered the earth, and the next thing Irwin Eaton, of Ypsilanti, knew he was struck in the breast by the thills of a buggy and knocked nearly a rod, with net damages to his person that may keep in hot weather, if placed on ice. Last week Hon. John J. Robison, of Sharon, had a visit from Russell Pierson, of Ontario county, N. Y. , who was an old schoolmate, and whom he had not seen in forty-eight years. Mr. Robison is not in the Dest of health, but the visit from his old friend was better than hop tonic for him. - M # ft '' The ladies' charitable sewing school, of Ann Arbor, meets every Saturday in the Courier building. This is not at all fair toward the other newspapers, as the Courier short-hand reporter concealed in the next room gets all the local gossip of the week, which the other reporters have to skirmish for. The Argus shows convincingly that the hog-banishing ordinance of Ann Arbor is a damaging failure; that the perfume of the hog-stye was as Ceylon's spicy breezes compared with the festering swill that stands in the hot sun and sends up a stench that would kill a bottle-fly at ten yards. It asks the readmission of the hog to citizenship. Henry Miller, of Ypsilanti, saw a tarántula fall from a bunch of bananas, and captured him with a glass jar. O, but he was a whopper! The professors of Greek and Latin and the long-haired naturalist of the Normal were sent for, who, after three hours, found it to be a land crab! Then Henry went out and practiced half a day, climbing back and forth through a knot-hole in a board fence. The Ypsilantian avers thát a Normal girl pronounces a lie the Press statement that the gymnasium appropriation was secured by the iris tickling the chins of the "Sawbuck;" that when the legislators visited the Normal and witnessed the lady "gyms" club swinging, they dared not withhold the appropriation. We hate to be called a lie. If a man were to do it we would ask him to lay aside his coat and vest and make a shirt-sleeve affair of it. At the late Washtenaw pioneer meeting at Saline, it was shown that 150 of the early settlers had "passed over" during the year, their average age being 74 years. One had reached 100 years, and eleven were between 90 and 100. After dinner #12.75 was received as dues. Rev. Mr. R.yan gave an address, which was 'ollowed by Capt. E. P. Allen in a song and dance, entitled " Fifty Cents for Wool." He was succeeded by Ex-Governor Felch, who sang 'Just as Young as I Used to Be," after which came the election of officers. Here's a man loaded clear to the top with responsibility. If he does not have lop-shoulder or spinecurvature inside of four years, we miss our calling as a prophet. The Milan Leader says of F. J. Hammond: Besides attending to the arduous duties of editing the Whittaker dejartment of the Leader' he owns and operates a general store, is an energetic insurance agent, holds down a notary public's commission, s township clerk of Augusta, and to cap the sheaf, last Saturday night Uncle Sam unloaded the Whittaker )ostoffice at his door.