I Eugene Sly, of Dexter, toyec with a revolver till the sly thing went off and "blip" went one o Sly's fingers. Oscar Sober, of Superior, is very ill with fever, ,but the physicians say they will relax nothing in trying to keep Oscar Sober. They are having great fun at toot ball over at the University, a student's leg having already been broken, which is considered a capital start for the surgeons. The pride of Chelsea, is at present centered in a small donkey, purchased of the Whitney show. The donkey is to Chelsea what the sacred buil was to Egypt. So many changes have been made in the homreopathic branch of the university that the faculty must be uncommonly astute, if it recognizes itself, without an introduction. Miss Bower, great record keeper of the lady Maccabees, has opened her office in Ann Arbor. The "queen bee" can be found in her ampie cell in the Hamilton block. In striving to climb the greased pole of knowledge, seventy University freshraen have slid down after examination. But perhaps they are safer at the base than the pinnacle. The new Maccabee-hive at Ypsianti, has been dedicated. The walls of the room where the "goat" s kept, contains a swinging maul tor the brute to practice on between nitiation. '.' X Northville claims to have the best ystem of water works in the world. to lay successful claim to such a distinedon, raquires considerable 'main" strength; but Northfield eems to have it. There are 40 more pupils in the Third ward school, Ann Arbor than there are seats. This of course insures prompt attendance in the morning, and it is bad luck for the forty who miss a sit-down. # Nine Washtenaw county pioneers have recently died, their average being 82 years. Sturdy people those first Washtenaw settlers. They usually live till blown up by a gasoline stove or kicked by a horse. George W. Bowlsby who died at Monroe, left a scheme for a military balloon, which was published by the Democrat and is now engaging the attention of the war department. It has no parachute drop. The carp, planted in the Monroe marshes, are getting in the same kind of work that is noticeable at Sandusky, They are rooting out the wild rice and celery. Acarp will eat anything except a stone fence. ■ m ft Over at Whittaker, the sleuth hounds l of the law are hunting down George Bryant with a view to depriving him of his liberty on a charge prefe&red by his wife, for the trilling offense of having held her against a hot stove till she was done on one side. Bryant took to a swamp, but they will have the poor fellow yet. At a recent meeting of the Ann Arbor city council, the sum of $1,500 was appropriated with which to furnish the city offices. The wainscotings will be gross-grained and there will be damask carpets and elegant Japanese fans for those who go in to swear at the council for its extravagance. ■ The editor of the Ann Arbor Register raised this year, squash vines which made a growth of 203 feet and 2 inches. When it is considered that the editor did this and fought an injunction on the paper to keep from "squashing" financially, it must be admitted that Moran is "some pumpkins." Thirty dozen frogs have been furnished the University by one Rushton Clark, of Green Oak. These frogs are not for the palates of the president and professors; they are -'too flip," - that is, the frogs. Poor fellows! they are going through the University for the benefit of science, not expecting to make a cent out of it. Charles Woodruff, of the Sentinel served thirty years on the school ■ board of Ypsilanti. Mr. Woodruff j may not be in syrapathy with some ; of the "dude" educational systems of the day, but has more practical knowledge of the real needs of the bour than some of those people who J in dark closets are engaged in j ing conundrums and spring them 1 on unsuspecting teachers, disguised 1 as examination questions." Mr. - Woodruff should be made an honorary member of the Andlescentis club in this world and have a crown with a nimbus in the next. Editor Smith, of the Milán Leader, will soon be doing business in a "brand spa'nking" new office. ()n this account he is basely suspected of having been one of the Kendallville train robbers; but we know he is not one of us. His wealth was honestly got and we are glad to see virtue prosper. Wipe your feet on the door mat before going in. A six-year-old escape f rom the Detroit Orphan's home tumbled out of a train at Ypsilanti, the other night, and began cursing and swearing in a manner to make one er two hardened old toughs who heard him turn pale. The sheriff bundled the infaatile blasphemer back to Detroit. It is thought by his language, that he had smelled the 'Slanti mineral water.