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Reports From The North Pole Expedition

Reports From The North Pole Expedition image
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The reporter sent out to find the North Pole, and incidently to prospect for baled hay, has fust been heard from. An exploring party recently found portions of his remains in latitute 4-1 1-44, longitude sou' by sou'west from pole, and near the remnants the following fragments of a diary: July 1, 1892 - Have just been out searching for some signs of a sunstroke and a thaw. Saw nothing but ice floes and snow as far as the eye could reach. Think we will have snow this evening unless the wiad changes. July 2 - Spent the forenoon exploring to the Southwest for the right of way for a new Equatorial and North Pole railway. I think it would be of immense value to commerce. Ate my last dg today. Had intended him for the 4th, but got too hungry and ate him raw with vinegar. Wish I was at home eating Argus paste. July 3 - We had quite a frost last night, and it looks this morning as though the corn and small fruits must have suffered. It is. now two weeks since the crew up and died, leaving me alone. Ate my suspenders for dinner today. Don't expect any callers, so do not care if my pants fall off. July 4 - Saved up some tar-roofing and a bottle of mucilage for my Fourth of July dinner, and gorged myself today. The exercises were poorly attended and the affair was rather a failure. It is clouding up in the west, and I am afraid we are going to have snow. Seems to me we're having an awful late spring here this vear. July 5 - Didn't drink a drop yesterday. Poorest celebration I evei attended. I didn't do a thing I'm asbamed of, but eat a box of shoe blacking for supper. Today I ate my last boot heel, stewed. It looks as though we were going to have a hard winter. July 6 - Find a little apprehension about something to eat. My credit is all right here, but there is no competition, and prices are therefore very high. Ice, however, is still firm. One feels as lonesome here as a prohibitionist at a presidential election. Ate a pound of cotton waste, soakedin machine oil, today. There is nothing left for tomorrow but ice water and an old pocket-book. It looks like snow. July 7 - This is a good, cool place to summer in, only the provisions ought to be a little more plentiful. Today I am wearing a sealskin undershirt, seven woolen overshirts and a" bear skin vest. When the dew begins to fall I put on my dog overcoat to keep out the night air. I don't know what I'l have for dinner tomorrow unless the neighbors bring in something. A big bear is coming down the hatchway as I write. I would like to eat hira. I can't teil whether I'l eat him or vice versa. It'U be a warm day for me if he TIere the diary stops, and from the chewed-up appearance of the bookwe are led to entertain a horrible fear as to his safety. From a telegram received this morning we think he is roaming through the corriders of the eternal henee.


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News