Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Jerome Sober, of Salem, last week dropped from the roof of a barn cracking a thigh bone. We warn him, if he intends to remain Sober, not to take another drop. A gentleman fainted away last week, while undergoing an operation in an Ypsilanti barber's chair. This was the result of his foolish efïort to do without an anesthetic. After "twenty years o' hustling" an Ypsilanti high school junior has envolved and caused to be enacted into a yell, the following: Razzle-dazle; zipboom, bah Ypailanti High school- Kah, rah, rah. There was sorne alarm at Ypsilanti, last week, over a long deep crack, in some places an inch wide, in the hard earth. As the fissure opened no wider the alarm passed away. The jar of the election was tremendous, for a fact. The editor of the Chelsea Standard states that oneevening last week he was allowed to gaze upon a copy of the "Breeches bible" printed in 1606. The Press congratulates Mr. Hoover on havins; at last gazed upon the Bible, with or without breeches. Having deprived the students of their "ponies," the university faculties are riding the "high horse." The Courier says: "The various faculties have adopted a rule relative to "ponying" at exams. that will be hard on the class of studeuts who resort to that dishonorable method of getting through. Mrs. Mulholland, of Superior, Washtenaw county, who was kicked by her husband, drenched with water and pounded with the pail, has begun divorce proceedings. Mulholland is worth $4,500. Let the court give Mrs. M. and her infant child all of it that the law will permit. The deputy sheriff at Whitaker, tried to "level" an execution on the corn of Eddie Robbins, a colored African, whereupon the oppressed race rose and threatened the epidermis of the deputy with a gun. As he only had one epidermis, the officer did not see how he could spare it so the execution was not "leveled." The mayor of Ann Arbor removed the marshal subject to the approval of the council. The council did not approve, yet the mayor nomiinated another man for marshal and the council confirmed the nomination. Wont somebody over there, take a crowbar and pry up the opaqueness that has crystallized over this action. An old gentleman came into this office yesterday afternoon and asked: "How cheap can you get me up a set of teeth? '■' We informed him that teeth was out of our line, and directed him to Dr. Calhoun's office aboye. - Milán Leader. To pretend to run a print shop and still not be able to a little jaw-b like that, is tooth in. Fr. Elliott, of Ypsilanti, in a recent powerful address, had for his subject the question: "Why am I an abstainer?" and discusses the text from a moral standpoint. There are other citizens of Ypsilanti, who, for different reasons are also abstainers; those who have no money for a drink, and those who are in jail for their last drunk. The state of Michigan, having given $20,000 for the erection of a gymnasium, where safe and healthpromoting athletics may be practiced,should insist on the relinquishment of violent and uproarious games of baseball and football. - Ypsilanti Sentinel. Right you are, Bro. Woodruff, "and now is the time to kick." What Ypsilanti most needs is a pólice forcé to keep the officers from fighting. A brace of "cops" got at it the other night, and when they finished their mothers, who taught them that "their little hands were never made to claw out each other's eyes out," would not have recognized their darlings on sight. They looked worse than the democrat party, the morning after election. Hon. David A. Hammond, ol Charlotte, member of the state board of education, is confined to his bed at the Hawkins house, Ypsilanti, with rheumatism. - Washtenaw Times. Rheumatism is no respecter of persons. It will down an editor or a member of the board of education with the same remorseless grape vine twist that it takes on just a common chump. A school of baby-training for young ladies, has been establishec at the Ann Arbor M. Ë. church. Each Sunday, mothers attending morniag service leave their innocents with a young lady who cares 'or them in the Sunday school rooms. Thus mothers are enabled to attend service the babies grow lealthy, competing with each other in lung power, and it is not thought that the practical knowledge of baaies is thrown away on their fair Columbian guard. ' Marquis De Fontenoy, in the Chicago Record, related that Ypsilanti was named after the good Greek warrior, Demetrius Ypsilanti, whose valorous deeds during the Greek war of independence made the name of Ypsilanti famous, and adds that "the well known town of Michigan was named after him." Poor old Demetrius were he to rise up today and get a whiff of that "Michigan :own's mineral water, he would probably regret that he ever became ramous and drop dead again. The Manchester Alpha Sigma recently debated the question, "Resolved, that the Indian has received more cruel treatment from the hands of the white man, than the negro." Decided that the negro had been the worst used. Of course he has. Time and again have the whites furnished the Indian with whisky and scalps. Whenever he wanted brain soup, has he not been allowed to cili "a pale-face to furnish it ? If ïedesired to hang up white children on pine knots, haven't we furnished the children? 'Course we have. What have we done for the negro? Vlade him a slave for 200 years and spelled his name with a small %'n" - the Indian with a big "I." For two weeks prior to an election he is dignified with the title of "brother" y republicans, after which they et him relapse into a "nigger11 for the next two years.