Adrian Press Washtenawisms

There are no "houses to let" signa stuck up in Milán - Milán Leader. Xot sinee the lire, anyway. E. A. Gartee, of Ano Arbor. ascertained with his foot, the weigit of ; barrel of white lead. and now hobbles i on crutches. James Sherm.au, of Dexter, last weck fed his right hand to a power fodder cutter. He is a hard working yonng man aud there is umch sympathy for him. The Dexter Leader could not get potatoes on subscription, but is gratelul to be remembered with a peuk of Steele red apples, thus setting a sublime and beautiful example of gratitude. The Press feels called on to regret t-bat so briglit and good a newspaper as the Ann Arbor Courier, is in danger ofgoingtothe insane asylum on account of the Wilson tariiï bill. Incandescent lights have been placed around the organ of the Ann Arbor Presbyterian church. No niember of the ehoir gonig around behind the organ to drink with the blower, now. ■ Last Friday even ing a masquerade ball was given at the Keeley institute in Ypsilanti. Some of the inmates were so sober that they were not recognized and in fact didn't know themselves. So rnany Ann Arborites are in jail for violating city ordinances, that the sheriff bas decided to put in a bill against the city for the board of its denizens, wbile forced to enjoy his iospitality. M 1 J 4 At the Milan lire last week one deterniined, energetic worker a broken lamp chimney and carefully removed it to a place of safety, and kept on about his work. There's nothing like well directed energy. Local "gag" of a micstrel show at Ypsilanti: McCoy was asked his reason tor discharging tbe city pólice forcé. The answer was, '"Because they are always Buck-ing into us and Eaton' us up." ïhe plasteringcraeked and severa! stovepipes in the vicinity feil down. ïhe Washtenaw Times knows an officer who attempted to bring execution against the person, when the man flopped down on the floor and his wife and sister-i n-lav sat on the body, armed with stove wood. The officer withdrèw. It was a "familv spread," but he feit that he was ''not in it." The state professor of law at Babia, Brazil, has written to Judge Oooley for permission to translate into Portuguese his celebrated work on constitutional law. Permission was given. Foor Brazil! In her blindness she yet gropes after the best, but no foundation could be reached with a pile driver stable enongh to bear the weight of a national constitution. Answering an attack in the Ann Arbor Argus on the Hawaiian question, the Wasbtenaw Times alleges that between attacks the -'attacker" 'Sandwichess" in a piece of advice. When we contémplate the monstrous diabolism of the above, we are overwbelmed with a sense of the awful responsibility of the American government in the Hawaiian matter. Ypsilanti will have a city social club witb a capital stock of $6,000, while the Young Men's Christian Asssociation goes begging to pay ruDning expenses, and the Humane Benevolent Association is around with its knees out of its elbows- its stomach pinched With the pangs of want. Six thousand for the devil, but not a cent for God or humanity! O, Ypsi, Ypsi! thou Gomorrah of citiesl Mr, Dansingburg, of Whittaker, had several sneep mangled by dogs. Then Mr. Dansingburg shut the survivors in a yard. But the next night the dogs again dan eed after Mr. Dansingburg's flcck and laid several more low. Now Mr. Dansingburg is a pretty mad man, and the man wlio can out-dance Dansingburg must begin early in the evening. A Free Press correspondent at Ann Arbor retened to the Milan fire engine as "an old-fashioned squirt gun," and tl) e Milan Leader torna the hose on hiin in this manner: The Ann Arbor correspondent should "jack up'1 his memory a bit, and rememberthat when Ann Arbor owned it two years ago it was one of the best hand engines in the country. It's as good now as it ever was. A recent lire in the psychological laboratory of the University damaged instrumente $100 worth. Thus, in the rnidst of costly research, bv the best minds, into the psychic mysteries, ;hh1 just as the doctrine of ntellectual supremacy of mind over matter was about to be proclaimed as a truth, along comes this fire- which the mind could not prevent - right in the hot-bed of investigation, and knocks the psyehic hypothesis into stellar space. Talk about big feet! Last week, to decide a bet, a pair of second-hamt socks belonging to a Chelsea girl were put on the pedal extremities of the Goddess of Libertv statue in New York liarbor, and blanked if they weren't too big for her! - Grass Lake News. If Chelsea girls do not stand on their dignity and scold a blister on the forehead of this monster that has cravvled lip out of Grass Lake, the flrst time he ventures over there- but he won'tdare venture.