Adrian Press Washtenawisms

The Kubber Tip DressStay company Are the lawless acts of the Jesse James reign to be re-enacteU right here m Michigan? The Saline postoftce was robbed of 49 cents, the other nignt. Ypsilanti is thoroughly reorganizing her hre department. She wants the luemen to get to a fire bef ore the burnmg timbers cool off.- Argus. 'Sdeath! That calis for gore. Gambling in Ann Arbor has received a senous set back. The mayor got atter the crowd and "raised out" several whose previous winnings have now gone into the public treasury. "Shinny,1 ' on skates, has superseded tootball, at Xpsilanti. Jïall and clubs are used and the man who is able to take his own skates off, af ter the game, rates his shins higher than his honor. Steam, escaping f rom the Ann Arbor oom t house, caused a spin of the lire department last week. The Judge should caution the attorneys against running at high pressure, with only one gauge. Grip last week had two editors of the Ypsilanti Sentinei down on their becks, a knee on either breast and a clutch on both throats. The brethren have our sympathy and we trust they'l whip, but feel obliged to accord the enemy "belligerent right" according the rules of wav. The Milan Leader should be credited with a pleasing innovation. Instead of the always-in-type announcement in many papers, that "John Doe" "wears a big smile," etc, appears the modest notice that "Another Bond of Aiïeetion has been established." This is good beside the pun. Georpe Boettenhead, of Bridgewater, was last week buttoned to Miss Zintha Seekinger, by Rev. S. Irion. Mr. Hitehingham iives in the same locality, and there are other people there whose i ñames are held together like a log raft - by pinning boards across them. Paul Freitner, of Ypsilanti, whipped lis wife last week, and was run into ail, where, as soon as left alone, he ning himself dead with his suspenders-Mxtally disgusted that in a "free" and a man couldn't worship at his own ireside aceording to the dictates of his own conscience. Charles and John Sehniidt, of Milan, opened their saloon the night of the great fire there, and ministered to ïome whose exposure required a spirtual remedy. For this he was arrested. On that particular night ought hey not to have been allowed to '-do d little wrong, to do a great right?" The Ann Arbor Courier prints, with mmerous derisive interjections, tbe 'ree list of the new Wilson tariff bill. ?he Courier should show mercy, and not rub it in too hard- beeause- those articles against which its iiony is espeially directed, are identically those in he republican free schedule of 1890. Aisy there, lad! For 4,500 days "Oíd Bill" has SPived lie U. S. express company at Ypsianti, without having missed a workng day, or a meal, or cost a cent for medicine. Fourteen years of unbroken ervice! It is said he could actual ly ronounce "C. O. D." and "25 cents, lease,"' so asto be understood. Neigh, tis true. Some son of darkness wlio is héaded for i zone where the electric light is always shining, stole an elegant bearskin robe from the cutter of Kev. A. Ostroth, at Wbittaker. last week. It is questioned in divine writ: "Wïll a man rob God?" ïhat Whittaker villain would, as quick as a mink would a hen roost. The largest jndgment ever rendered in Washtenaw has been entered in a suit by Charles F. Conrad, formerly of this city, against the East Saginaw Iron Company, on a promissory note for $155,000. by default.- Ypsilanti Sentinel. Such a judgment would almost be the ruin of a country editor. Dr. Boone recently addressed the students of the Normal, and announced his subject to be "Gentlemen," gravely adding that " ladies are embraced." The reverend and the scholarly are not above the humor of a good pun. At the meeting of the state Baptist association in Adrián severa] years ago, a number of ladies moved toward the door about the same time. Rev. Fish presiding, remarked wit-b seeming severity: Let us wait till those ladies are out - it is impossible to do business where there is so much bustle." The Aun Arbor Argus appeared last week as a doublé edition, the extra pages being devoted to the interest of Ann Arbor, which with entertaining description and picture embellishments, mirror the Michigan Athens in such an enticing man per, as to almost make one forget that it is not the old Greek city of the gods wliere welt the girl of whom the poet sang: Maid of Athens. ere we part, Give, o, ;_nve mo ijui'k niy heari ! The effect of these beautiful lines will be greatly heightened ii! the hand be brought to the left brease and the last two words utteied as though spelled "me liairt." Try it. The Adrián Fress has failed to reach our sanctum for the past three weeks. What is the matter, don't we quote you sufticientlyy Try us again and we will try to do better. - Ann Arbor Register. The Press deeply regrets that for three weeks, owing to some meclianical error, our esteemed contemporary has been without the moral and political gospel of which it stands in so much need. The Press has a strong brotherlv feeling for the Register, even though it is mired to the neck in the false doctrine of protection, and would fain seize it by the hair and pull it out if possible. The Press will be sent as usual.