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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

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The Milán Leader has discovered that there is in the couuty one Christian, one woman aud one Damtn saloon keeper eugaged in the whiskey trade. In three falls, Herbert W. Childs, of Ypsilanti, has broken his left leg three times. This ends being the '"best three in live'"- for the doctors. Last week a class of young lady nurseswas graduated f rom the university- the ürst that ever received diplomas there. As the graduates are ïeputed to be comely, an epidemie of bad health among baclielors, is proa;nosticated. A Milán milkman is out with a new milk car, which contains a stove and various modern inventions. Thechalk grinder and water tauk are near the stove, and warm, nice milk, fresh from the cow, is served to customers, 110 matter how cold the weatlier is. George Higgins, of Dexter, has taken an eagle to raise. In Alabanm a large eagle "last week carried oft' a two year old child in the presence of its young sister, and picked the flesh frora its bones, on a mountain crag. Dexter children, or Higgins' eagle, should be kept tied. ''Chelsea ia getting to be a great i place for talent in the dramatic art " says the Standard of that village. No doubt oí' it, since the same paper , states that it requires about the same mortal struggle, to get a man into a , church there, that it does in Raisin Valley to get one out. The Ypsilanti (Commercial ; ing a Press paragraph says: "We can ' run our Social Clubs and our Y. 1. C. x's, and our Home associations, and ship carloads of supplies to the needy : elsewhere. Cali on Ypfeilanti when you are in need." The Press is in no need- thanks to our home benevolent association! # Too much care caunot be exercised in the use of polysyllabic words in dealing with science. During a recent optical examination at the Normal, by Prof. Carrow, the professor was not as plain as he should have been, and one young lady, whq thought he said she had "hydrophobia"in hereyes, showed immediately that she was '-mad". ♦ Hou. H. D. Platt and 45 Saline farmers recently said, "Hold iirmly to a protective tariff," which brings ilon. Daniel Strange to the frontín the Sentinel, with such a clear exposé of the fallacy of a high tariff as a protector of the farmer, that the hides of Ilon. II. D. Platt and 45 Saline farmers are nailed up like sheepskins on the gable end of a barn. 9 The attaek on the democratie party in the long editorial in last week's YTpsilantian, leads one to the conclusión that Bro. Osband must have a Ferris wheel in his head.- Ann Aubor Democrat. Some might believe from the above that Bro. Osbaud had become mentally unhinged; but in Chicago,"Will you have a wheel? '7 simply means, "Will you drink, sirV " Jacob Slimmer, of Ohelsea, asks a divorce on the ground that his wife , gets drunk. ïhey were married in October, 3892, and he says that in less than two months she went on a spree. ' As the chances of happiness grew Slimmer and Slimmer, he applied for a dissolution of partnership. Another man over that way. named Allen Stephens, asks to be legally separated irom Lucy, because against his will and contrary to his protest, she has acquired the horrible habit of teaching country school. The Ypsilanti Sentnel hears that a federal official out that wuy favors the niobbing of any man speaking in favor of the Wilson tariff bill. In its commentarv the Sentinel adds: "If it be true that the rem ark was made, there isa job of bonncing in this vicinity that needs attending to." The Press believes in free speech, and would not advise violence as he does. Bnt a vacuüm should be created in the office he holds, with such suddenness as to cause a report, like as though the north pole had fallen down. Ann Arbor should use the jail just as otber subdivisions of the connty use it; but she has no more right tq make it a city lockup than Ypsilanti has; or than Dexter, Chelsea, Manchester or Saline have.- Y psilanti Sentinel. What would Ypsilanti have, any way ? First she "kicks'" because more of Ann Arbors citizens are not in jail. Then to oblige lier (and for other reasons), about half of Athens goes to jail, and now Ypsilanti "kicks" about that. It is easier for a needie to go through a camel's eye than to please sorne people. The AVashtenaw Times notes the purchase by Hon. David A. Hammond - one of the members of the State Board of Education- of the interest of S. W. Curtiss in the Ann Arbor Argus. The Press predicts for the Argus a f urther Ímpetus in its prosperous career. The firm name will be Beakes & Hammond, and will become of force January 1. Prof. Hammond, as an educator, has proved to the public of Michigan that there is abundance of gray matter within the circumference of his hat: and as he has for some time had an aching void. which only journalism could tïll. the professor's well known abilities will novy be energized in a calling that trots with bis inclination. Beakes & Hammond will constitute a strong team, and the Press cordially wishes them success; and before taking leave of this subject desires to warn the Washtenaw public that the man who rushes in to lick the new editor will be thrown out in pieces. He is built that way.


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News