His Best Haul

A tnerchant tailor in the city of Bníalo mnny years ago, having accumulated a competency at his trade, determined to throw aaide his shears and spend the re, niainder of his life upon a farm. íre purchased several lmndred acres of land in Touawanda, and there was a fish liíg ground on the estáte. .Mr. C, the ex-merchant, was delightrd vvilh his nevv oceupation, and he dtvoted his best efforts uiih untiringzeal tofarming and fisliing. Ui'ing bard of hearing, be often made ludieron blunders, which . excitad the mirthfulness of histriends and i customers. ! His graeeful and beautifr.l daugbter was at boarding .school ne&r New York city at the time her father purchased the farm. She had a lover and proniised to marry him, providing he could olrtain the consent of her parent to the matrimonial alliance. The young man traveled west as fat as the iron horse vvould take hiiu in that uirection. On the uioming after his arriva] ho was strolling alöng the lianks of the -"reek that sweeps through the villaje of Tonawanda, when he met a plain old gentleman, dressed in homespnn, and inquired of him "if the cars had commenoed running to the falls yet." "Principally pike and mullet," pald he. ! "You misuuderstand me," continued the young man. "I merely wish to know ! if the cars have cotnmeueed their trips to ' the falls of Niágara, and what this fare I is." "Froin 3 to 4 cents a pound." v'Do you intend to insult me?" 'l wiil let yon ha ve a largo qunntily for 2 cents." "I have a good miud to give you a caning for your iiv.pertinence." "Well, if you do not choose to give it I know who will." "1 should like to know i f there are any more such fools as you ure in the town of Tonawanda.'' "Weshall rnake anotber haul in the niorniug before daylight." At this instant anothercitizen made his I appearance, and the strauger stated hia grievance to him. Hesaid: "I have been askingtbisoldman a few civil questions, and he has giveu rae the most impertinent answers. " "Oh, he is deafl" exclaimed the third party. "He is deaf as a post, hut he is a very fine old gentleman - one of the beet men in town - one of the most iufiuential and respectable mea in the country, indeed. Me deals in fish somewhat, and so do I. It is possible he tnay think that I amen dea vori ng toundersell him; wil) you therefore do me the favor to vvvite down your question cm a scnip of paper, and save me f rom suspicion, and satisfy yourself in regard to the old gentleman 's politeness?" The young man conmieneed vvriting, when the old farmer fisherman intemipted hira with the remarkt "I will not take a note of band. Cash on the nail. or no trade. " "! Ie is preparing a note, " said the last corner. "(.'all me a brute, do you," exclaimed Mr. C, "then take tbat," and suiting the action to the word, he dealt him a biow straight froru the shoulder, which prostrated hnu "flat as a flounder." By this time the note was finished and the old gentleman discovered his mistakc - and about this time the young stranger made the discovery that he had been picking a quarrel with his prospective fathei iu-law. Mr. C. made an apology and invited both parties to go over to his house and dine. The front door commanded a view of a meadow in which a cow was feeding and while Mr. C. was looking in that direction the youthful lover, whose heart v.as overflowiug withemotion. commenced the task he carne such a long distance to perform. '"1 ani acquainted with yonr danghter, " said he in a loud tone. "Sbe is a finí' beast," remarked the old gentleman, looking at the covv. "Your daughter 1" screamed the young man. "I hve the honor to be well ac quainted with her.'' ■'She is a noble animal," was the quiet response. "I was speakingaboutyouramiableand accomplished daughter!" "She is very kind - indeed, never breaks' down the fences - never kicks over the pails - never strays away like the other brutes 1 have." " You don't understand me, sir! Iwr.s speaking of your daugbter at boarding school!" "Xo, I never put a board on her face; she never does any mischief at all." "Your daughter!" shouted the young man, frantie with exeitement. "Did you say I ought to?" "No, sir! I was speaking of yonr daughter, the young lady away from home!" "Oh, yes - I have plenty of room, but I think she is too old to keep ruuch longer. To teil you the truth, I have made tip my mind to shut her up in the stableand feed her on chop stuff a few weeks." "Great heavens!" remarked the young man to himself. "What shall I do? This deafness will be the death of me! I will try once more, and if this efltort fails I will resort to pencil and paper again." "I shouhl like to say a word or two to you respecting your daughter!" "I sball let the butcher have her by and by - if he will give me my price, " said the old man with emphasis. As a last resort the young man nsed his pencil and paper - showed his letters of introduction. After a little cross questioning and a little hesitation, the old j man gave bis consent, and when the pai-ties were married he declared it was the best haul he had made in all bis life.-