Adrian Press Washtenawisms

The Sehwabischen Unterstuetzungs of Ann Arbor will pinchase two lots for $fi,00í) and build a hall thereon. In its present quarters it hasn't room to uncoil its name. ' An Ann Arbor alderman. who recently went ice-boating on Cavanaugh lake, was pulled out of the water alive, and talksqf writiiig.atíompankm pieee to '-Twenty Thoueand J .cagues Ui'der tlie Sea." The Argus puts the aniount of the dooation for Rev. O. C. Uailey, of Chelsea, at $108. The Chelsea Herald says it was $110. Now who has snigged $2 froni the elder's pile? Let the deacons be searched. An athletic club has been formed at Chelsea. Other clubs are forruing and a great number ot pigmy Corbett's will pop up in the next three months, and more money will be spent in the cause of prize fights than for the conversión of the heathen. The Law Journal of Londoii, Eng., copies in f uil a:i avtiele f rom Prof. E. F. Johnson, of the iaw departtnent of the University of Michigan. Ordinarily we would abbreviate "Uhiversity of Michigan" to "U. of M." bat this touches the pi-ide of our state, and we spell it clear out. There being no contestants, the orator of the senior class of the Ypsilanti high school was selected by conscription. This argües well for the future. Speed the day when statesmen sha LI be chosen instead of ehoosing, ind the boors, blockheads and millionaire upstarts be relegated! The Saline Obsserver is informad that the Adrian-Ann Arbor electiic railwayis asure go. That's the one that was to absorb the motor line, but no absortion is observed around it yet. - Ypsilanti Commercial. Tho Press again repeats its apprehension that the road is to be an air line at a very high altitude. O. E. Hawkins, formerly of Deerfield, later of Saline, and now of Eaton Rapids, and publisherof the Herald, has received a niarked compliment to his ability from the editor of the Eaton Rapids Journal, who has sued him for $10,000, for libel. This touching testimonial from a competitor may well flatter Editor Hawkins, Miss Al ice Bailey, of Ann Arbor, at a recent Normal concert sang, "O that Thon Tladst Hearkened!'" in i way that me'ited the audience. But granted he didn't "hearken," she shoukl have sung instead : '■Pil laucb. and be merry as a nightingale in May, For I can catch another if he is far away." 'Just now," remarks the Ypsilanti Commercial, "we notiee reference to another product, oleo eheese, and farmers have asked for a discrimmating license Iaw against cheese irnitation." It is easy to distinguían the imitation froni the genuine. If, after eating, tyrotoxicon cramps do not follow, on the net train, it is no genuine cheese, but a forgery. The Ann Arbor street car barns and live motors, with other property, were burned last week with a íáO.OOO loss, which includes the dog of the night watchman, shut in the office. There was $11.000 insurance on the car property. The dog is a total loss. People who "cussed" the cars while they run, cuss all the more while they do not. New cars will be put on. In its ecstasy over Washtenaw federal appointments, the Ypsilantian, forgetting that it is a republican and not "in it'' at all, performs the skirt dance, kicks high, and puts its foot through its winter opera bonnet, which it hauls well up on the shank, and utters a scream of delight. This shows that the Ypsilantian is not as black as it has painted itself, and is at heart real good and democratie. There have been 13 prosecutions in six months, in wicked Washtenaw, and 112 convictions. At this rate Prosecuting Attorney Kearnev by the close of his term will have most of Washtenaw county in jail. The justices are reported to conduct business in the following expeditious manner: Justice- "Guilty or not guilty?" Prisoner- "'Mot guilty, your honor." Justice - "You're aliar! Thirty days. Offlcer, bring in the next man." Rev. M. M. Goodwin, pastor of St. Luke Episcopal church, of Ypsilauti, has been annointed to pray for the American navy - for a salary of $2.800, during the Hrst five years, after which, if he "be not weary in well doing" he will hear the welcome plaudit, "well done, good and faithfnl servant; take $3,500 a y ear, during the rest of your life." The position yields the best returns on the investtuent of any of the federal offices. The appointee is no longer faound to "pray for the peace of Jerusalem"' but is expect.ed to ask providence to so aim the guns as toblow the enemies of the American fiag,ships and all, out of water.