Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Spring serenades are about to open in Dexter. A banjo and catarrh club is assureii. Oeorge Eaton, of Pittsfield, last week gave his arrn to diet a buz, saw, but enough was left to get well. The race track enterprise at Saline tliat last season started at a brisk gait, seems to be distanced. The crushed worm will turn. The I editor of the Dexter Leader warns the people who are nightly depleting his subscription wood pile that if they don't quit it, some of them will have to invest in a new stove. i - ■ Cïeorge Seybold, an Ann Arbor blacksmith, was last week kicked in the apetite by both feet of a horse. When he came down he remarked with fine humor, that he would go home and take something for the winter cholera. The Washtenaw Times notes the service of an injunction whicli among other things restrains the party enjoined from paying bilis. It is possible that sorne such restraint has been laid on several of the Press subscribers. George J. Xissly, of Saline, exeditor of the Saline Observer, bas hatched a new poultry incubator, for which he is receiving numerous orders. Nissly seems to be an inventive "rooster." He was no"quack" ia the newspaper coop. Prof. Sill.of Ypsilanti, the Corean minister, has started for the under side of the earth. It is a long journey. Somebody could make money by constructing a diametic shaft with an elevator, thus cutting off about 8,000 miles of the journey. The Ann Arbor Democrat says that Prof. Steere "will, during the coming semester, give his students a field course in Zoology." Those who have heretofore been chased by the "king of the herd" need not go out, but those only who have not taken the course. Jones, one of the colored burglers who wounded two officers last week and escaped, subsequently eraulated the noble example of Judas and killed himseJf. He had some regard for the tax-payers and saved them the expense of a trial. Peace to his ashes! He shot himself at his mother's house in Ypsilanti. A burglar at Lodi, got $125 in cash at the house of C. F. Hill, and started for the barn to steal a horse. Hill and sons followed and the old man let drive a couple of shots but missed. The burgular then took his "innings" and sent a ball into the works of the watch carried by one of the boys. This was an unlooked for "stem winder" and the Hills all took hold and helped each other let the burglar go. A iïerce debate recently occurred in the Ypsilanti high school on the subject, "Resolved, fhat the Whites were Justined in Their Treatment of Indians." No judges being chosen, it was a matter of opinión which side took the scalps; but that the Indians has been justly treated is true. He first discovered to the whites the weed of which cigarettes are made and sucked by the pale, lavender-livered dudes of this day. Wm. Rothman, who eloped two weeks ago with a Waterloo girl, but was despoiled of her by her papa before marriage could set in, is now doing a ninety days sentence for petty larceny. Such are the mutations of life. This week we may Jbe in love; next week in jail ! Today tasting the nectar of ruby lips; tomorrow sucking the cold meat rinds left over from the sheriff's dinner ! "O, why should the spirit of mortal be proud?" A question box has been placed in the lobby of the Dexter Congregational church, into which are dropped questions intended for the pastor. Here is ours: When the donation is held at your house, eider, and the gross receipts are $50, how much do you usually have left after buying a new carpet in the place of the one spoiled, getting the piano repaired, house cleaned, and wife's doctor bill paid? And are you very thankful? Answer from the pulpit, please. Mr. Lesirner, of the Ann Arbor Democrat, having been chosen a judge at a uftiversity coritest, requests of the Press "that if it should ever in this natural life have occasion to speak of us, and honor us with our proper title, it should not spell il with a little j." Certainly not. The Press always capitalizes the Deities and Dignitaries. Sir, to you Judge! A Cantón correpondent of the Ypsilantian mentions strange bugs, flat and about as large as a split bean, that infest the postoffice, covering papers and letters in great numbers. The postmaster does not know what they are. They are probably members of the civil service commission. On this point he could easily assure himself by raashing one. In order that his pupils raight neverforget to remember the Father of h is Country, a Scio Center peda _l' ■:. 'i'i on Washington's P.irthday li.aijed his class into wagons and took them to the University where they visited the museum and afterward were photoed in a group. While the pupils were examining the skeletons of the gorillas, some of the professors passed through. The children inquired who they were, and the kindly young pedagague, who had not observed them, supposed the specimens were meant, and answered that they were fossil remains, dug up in Borneo, and were probably thousands of years old. He was proceeding to explain the nature and habits of those animáis, and how they would sometimes attack the human race with great ferocity, when the professors passed hurriedly from the room. Just received a lot of China and Japenese Mattings at Martin Haller's. Go and see them before you buy.