A Story Of Evarts

When Mr. Evarts was called to Wash ington by President Hayes as secretar of state, bis predecessor, Secretary Fisli, gave a dinner in his honor. Mrs. Fish was seated at Mr. Evarts' right hand. Daring a In-H in the converaation Mrs. Fish tnrned to Mr. Evarts, speaking so clearly as to be heard even at the foot of the table, saying, "Mr. Evarts, I understand that yoa have sent two of your sons to college." "Yes. Mrs. Fish." "They are tvvin brothers, are they not, Mr. Evarts?" "Yes, and they have been playmate? and schoolmates until novv." "Bot is it true that you sent one to Harvard and the" other to Yale, although you are a Yale gradúate yourself?" "Yes, it is quite true." "Tben I suppose you have done that, Mr. Evarts. so that each of thero can take first honors?" Here Mr. Evarts loolíed curionsly at Mrs. Fish for an instant and then said very eatnestly, "Mrs. Fish, j-ouhavedivined correctly." - Philadelphia Preas. Mother, reproving-ly - Every doli you have has lost an arm, or a leg or a head, and some have left but the body. Now what are you ffomg to do? Little Ethel, thoug-httulty - I don't kno jv, unless I play dime museum. Lady, engaging' servan t - Have you any references? Raw Country Girl - What be them, marin? ■ Lady - Why, can you teil me any people who know your character? Eaw Country Girl, grinning- Yes, surely; but I bean't so silly as to teil ye! Hazel had been to missionary meeting-. Her prayers were apt to mirror the impressions of the day, and this is what her mother heard at bedtime: "Oh, Lord, I 'spose you know 'bout these rnissionaries, aud, Oh, Lord, please don't let 'ein learn any bad habits from the heathen." Quarryman, commissioned to break the news gently - Did ye hear that foine blast, mum? Woman- Indade I did. It froightened me. "Would Oi had been near ye to protect ye, mum, lts just such a fine lookin' woman as you Oi loik to protect, mum. It's me yez ought to marry." "It's you ought to be kilt entoirely for tolkin' that way an' me majried to a foine mon like Mieky Finnegan." "Och, ye naden't moind about him, mum. He was kilt by th' blast."