Importing An Ancestor
[Copyright. 1893, by American Press Association.] PROEMIAL. "Congratúlate me, oíd man, I ara now a Mayflower of the JUayflowers!" cried my friend Sam Johnson. "A Mayflower?" queried I. "Yes, a Mayflower. Not in person, of course, but by marriage. It shall now be my care to perpetúate on the soil of America the line of the noble house of Johnson. At last I am 'in the swim,' and blue is the hne of my bloodl" "What! Married! Have you deserted our noble band of bachelors?" "Yes, and am now of the noble band oí' benedicts." "In what bright spot in the Golden State did you ñnd 3rour Mayflower blooming?" "Why, my dear fellow, I've not been in California at all. I've been east. Bless you, old man, since leaving the Comstock I've crossed the 'briny'- have been over to the land of our fathers." "You don't mean to say that you've brought a bride from over the sea, when we have in our own America the beet and most blooming beauties the world can boast?" "No, no, my dear boy! No, my bride is not from over the sea, but to win her xost me a trip to the land of my ancestors - to old England, where peacefully slurnbering in rnral churchyards He whole acres of Johnsons." "Why, Sam, you don't mean to teil me that you've been over to England since I last saw yon?" "Yes, old man, that is just where l have been, and to a few other places besides. Why, by Jove, a man inay circumnavigate the globe, and when he reappears on the Comstock he is supposed to have merely been over the Sierras to California on a little fiyer! I've knocked about pretty lively since I left Virginia City ayear ago." "A year agol" "Yes, a year ago. You have hardly missed me, bnt I renlly left here a year ago. When you think a fellow is over in California, it never counts with you in this town; it is the same as if he were here at home. In the time I've been away I might have put about four 'girdles' round the earth." The particular Sam Johnson who thus spoke was a young man abont 28 years of age, who had for three or four years been engaged in running a big hoisting engine at one of the leading silver mines in Virginia City. He also speculated a little in miniug shares and otherwise enjoyed himself after the Comstock fashion. He was always a happy-go-lucky young fellow and bought and sold mining stocks in such a seemingly oiïhand, reckless way that his friends were wont to say that the goddess of fortune herself took care of all his speculations. Tlfe Cact was, however, that every move Sam made in stocks was well considered. I was delí -1 to meet the jolly young fellow, and having met we at once proceeded to our old quiet retreat to converse at ease and pass upon the merits of the newest brand of beer put forth as a candidato for public favor. "Yes," continued Sam, when we had anchored ourselves in our old time safe harbor, "yes, I've been down east, over to England, down south and all about." "I eau understand yonr trip to the New England states and can guess that you went down into Georgia or South Carolina to look at mines, but I cannot imagine why yon shonld have gone to England." "Ha, ha, ha!"' laughed Sam. . "What is the joke about your trip to Englaud? Perhaps you made it merely in imaginationí" "No, I actually went to England and accoinplished my mission there, but probably no man ever before crossed the ocean on snch au errand. Ha, ha! it was the funniest piece of business ever undertaken. But it was a success - a glorious success." "What you are saying is all Greek to me, Sam." "Of course. but you'll see the fun of the whole business when you've heard my story. Then if you don't say that the affair is the most elabórate joke of the century 111 treat to the beer every day tor the next year. To begin with, the whole and sole object of my missiou to England was to steal and import an ancestor for the Johnson family." "ïo import an ancestor?" "Yes. A great-great-grandfather, and I got him. He is now the pride of Pasonagessit." "But he is notalive?" "Alive! Pooh. noJ Been dead ever gince 1798." CHAPTER 1. THE PEÖPLK OF THE TOWN OF PASONAGESSIT. Sam then proceeded to teil rne his story as follows: Yon knovv that my fathei . James A. Johnson, left San Francisco about four years agopretty "well fixed,"as the saying is. With what he made here and down at the '%Bay," he had very Dearly two millions in good, solid gold coin. He went back to New England to found a home in which to end his days. After Bpending months in iooking abont he at last fixed upon the village of Pasonagesait, near the old whaling town of New Bedi'ord, Mass. In Pasonagessit he built a palatial mansion - the finest private re.sidence in the village. His grounda were also the finest. As for carriages and horses, no man in the place could ever approach my father. Ho had also a fine library and some fine and valuable paintings - not paintings from over the sta, but the work of our own leading artitits. üf all this I had heard through letters from my sisters before I went home. 1 expected to fi:id my father, mother and all the faniilv perfectly happy. Judge of my surprise and sorrow when I discovered that tliey were quite tne contrary. I was not long in getting at th f acts - at the real situation. Iu the village of Pasonagessit resided two "high privates," Captain Shrimp and Rev. Nantucket Sperm. All tha rest of the inhabitants were Bradfords, whose progeni tor came over in the May3ower - so at least it seemed to me. My people were looked upon as upstarts - a fainily without a pedigree - and they vere snubbed on all sides. Soon as I made this discovery, which I did in a way that came home to the heart in my bosom, 1 took occasion to epeak of it to my father. "Sam, my boy, you are right," said he. "Itistrue. You see how it is here. Th6se people have a sort of petty, narrow pride of ancestry that causes them to act in a very clannish manner. All of their societios and social gatherings =o smack of the 'pilgiïm fathers of tho L'olouy of Plymouth' that all, who cannot claim descent froin said fathers are barred. Thero is here a sort of aristocracy of the descendants of the first Bquads of emigrante that landed on these shores, and all others are looked upon as nobodies. Yonr sisters are as well educated, as well mannered and as good in every way as the danghters of our ueighbors, yet they are snubbed. We are an outcast family. All their social parties are parties of pedigree - 'ancestry' and the 'Mayflower pilgrims' always come up in on e way or' another to rule us out. Ah, Sam, we're a set of social lppers!" y mnst be a queer kind of Amerkn;ii .-. ' ventured 1. lliey are just as I have 'Jolil yon, and they are growing worse every year. With their variotis kinds of pilgrim eocieties they ;:re cultivating this sort of thing. As we are fcocially ostracized here among these descendants of the Mayflower pilgrims, I am seriously thinking of selling every thing 1 possess in the place for vrhatever I can get and moving west or south. My father possessed a really beautiful place. Everything had been arranged to his mind, and he had hoped to comfortably and happily end his days in the beautifnl little village. What he said worried me greatly. Besides this worriment on my father's account, I was chafing not a little in my own uarness. i nere was cause ror tms chafing, and a very bewitching little ene it was, notwitbstanding it owned to the name of Bradford. Ün my side it was a oase of' love at first (sight. Ah, what a sweet little Mayflower it was! From the moment I ürst set eyes upon Prudence Brudford I feit that I had "met my fate," as the saying is. Judge, then, of my disappointment when 1 leamed from my sisters that Prudence Bradford was upon the very apex of the pilgrim pyramid - was the Mayflower of the Mayflowera. They said that owing to the peculiar social conditions existing in the village it would be almost impossible for ine to obtain an introduction to the young lady or to in any v,-ay make her acqnaintanee. Besides, they had heard that Prudence was reserved for he.r cousin Standish, a I Bradford of the bluest blood. Iy I ters being ostracized in Pasonagessit society, their brother could expect no kincïer fate. But where there is a will there is a way. The houses of Rev. Nantucket Sperm and Captain Shrimp constituted neutral ground, as I soon discovered. Very soon after this discovery I managed to make the acquaintance of Prudence Bradford. 1 fouud hor as good natured and sweet as she looked. Not a sign of the pride ot' pedigree did I find iu Prudence. I will not say that on her side it was also a case of love at first sight, but it was very like it. She now accuses me of having "hypnotizedher." Atallevents, we progressed very rapidly, and soou there was a very good understanding between us. Soon 1 grew so bold that I ventured to stroll home with her to the castle of the Bradford of all the Bradfords. There I met my Waterloo. Prudence was tleil out of' sight in an instant. The Bradford of all the Bvadfords eyed mr over. Then, beghming with "Yoong man!" be laid down the lavvof the Bradford clynasty. He gave ine to understand that Prudence was reserved fov her blneblooded cousin, Standish Bradford, and as good as told me that 1 was liobody and never again to darken his door. He was almost brutally plain in his talk. But "love laughs at locksmiths," and Captain Shrimp was ni}' friend. He waa only a shrimp in the eyes of PasonagesBit - in the hearl and soul he was a whale. Now, urged by neeessity, Prudence and 1 carne to a good, square understanding. 5be had a perfect horror of Standish Braurord, and come weal or woe I was to be the man. Yet she feared her father and all herfamily. ïhey an i all the town would be arrayed on tlie side of herconsm Standish. he begrged me to keep our engagement secret anti] we could see our way to an open declaration of our intentions, and if need be defiance of Standish Bradford and all other Bradfords. I promised, at the same time telling her to be of good cheer, that 1 would set my wits to work for our ïrmtual benefit, besidts our occasional meeting under the hospitable roof of Captain Shrimp we established an extra Bce in tho town, and this, ftfter all, was our mainstay. Through it were discussed all onr plans, she keeping nie informed in regard to every move of tho Bradfords. The position of our affairs set me seriously to thinking. I did not wish old Amariah Bradford - the Bradford of all the Bradfords - to pronounce upon his danghters a Puntan curse, nor did 1 wish the remainder of the family and fribe to feel that Prndence had become an outcast- had as good as thrown hereelf away and disgraced the name of her ancestors. I must in some way bring all the triba to freely consent to the marriage. I must humor their pride of pedigree in some way. The resuit of this thinking took such ehape that, meeting iny father alone in the libx-ary one day, I surprised him by saying, "Father, ï'm going to England nest week." "To England, Sani!" cried the old gentleman, with widely expanded eyes. "Why, what put that notiou into yoiir head, my boy'.-" "Our talk some time ago. 1 have thoroughly thought over the situation, and I've arrived at the conclusión that we've got to import an ancestor." "Import :.n uucestor!" "Yes, sir, an aucestor. There must be plenty of .lohnsous, Jonsons and Johnstons bnriei! over in England, and if I can tind oce of the right date and quality the mera spelling of the nama is of litilo importance. I shall look for a Sir John, a Sir Ralph ora tíir Richard Johnson, and, wben I fiud him, over here he comes ,to be prominently and permanently replantee! in the Pasonagessit cemotery. When 1 find a titled Johnson of the right degree of antiquity, I shall steal him, bones, tombstone and all, and ■we will then transplant him in a style that will astound the Pasonagessit descendants oí' íhe pilgrim fathers." "Ha, ha. lia!" laughed my father. "Ha, ha! Why, Sam, blaat my buttons, it wouldn't De a bad notion." I then thoroughly nnfolded my plans to the old gentleman, who laughed consumedly. My father, yon know, is a jolly joker as eer spun a yarn or set a trap to catch a hunter after mares' nests and three taüed cats. He soon began to enter into the fnn of the scheme and declared that merely as a joke it would be worth tvrice what tho expedí tion would cost. We'were agreed that our enterprise must be kept a "dead secret" f rom all in the village and all onr own family in order to make it sneeeed as a really geons aiul ever blooming joke. Even my mother and sisters must reinain in tbo dark. In couhequencc öL this understanding, I the next v,-eek set out for England. In a note to Prndeuce I told her I was goiug to tï:ti land of our ancestors on a missiu".) of great hnportauce to my father, and one that would be quite as important to onrselves. As it was my father's business, 1 was not at liberty to enter into pnrticulars, but she would probably be able to get au inkling of it trom Rev. Nantucket Sperm or Captain Sbximp, at who?e houses my father visited. My f Ulier gave out that I had gone to the mother country on business of his own. He wore a very solemn face when fae eaid 1 was going on a "grave" mission. I was going, as he said, to perform a solemn duty which had too long been neglected, a duty which his forefathers had failed to perform owing to various hindrances, and one which he himself had too long deferred. Further than this he declined to erpïain, except that uiy mission involved a duty to one long since dead, a venerated ancestor. This of course sooi; found its way into theinouths of tbe villagegossips, as was iutended. My father being on rather intimate term With the --neutrals," Captain Shrimp and llev. Nautncket Sperm, he did not tuind telling them thus much when they put forth sumo feelers in regard to the oocasiou of uiy viait to Eua! land. It (IMT1NUKII IX KÜIIJAV'S l'Al'EII.I
Article
Subjects
Ann Arbor Argus
Old News