Adrian Press Washtenawisms

J. R. Miner has returned from Florida. Mr. Miner says he has no big fish stories, the largest one he caught weighing 4 pounds. - Washtenaw Times. Well, four pounds and a half is pretty fair weight for a fish story. "Wrinkle the university diaphlragm vibrator, has contributed #25 to a baseball charity. The donation will be used to place the umpire in a state of defense, by means of an armor-plated battery. It will be a serious business to kick the ! ed umpire. Ike Davis, who made a phenomenal tldermanic run in Ypsilanti, looks like a copy of the U. of M. Wrinkle. During a game of ball at Ann Arbor 'last week two players, interested in a "fly," collided, Frank S. Whitney receiving a neck dislocation and may not recover. Ypsilanti raised more than was needed for the northern sufferers and is casting about for an object needy and worthy, on which to bestow the surplus. Seems as though this would be the opportunity for the editors there to get each a new second-hand suit of clothing. "The U. of M. Waltz" is the name of a musical movement now on sale and having a heavy run. It is by Lew H. Clement, and was caught with a kodok at the time the late management of the Wrinkle executed its allegro hegira from the temple of fun. Populists Peters and Nordman addressed a meeting at Lima the other night. One man assembled. Mr. Peters began with, "Ladies, gentlemen and fellow citizens," but corrected himself and started again with, "Respected sir. " Before he was through, the audience ros'e to its feet as one man, and went out. De Pachmann, the pianist, when in Ann Arbor, left Prof. Stanley's table at which he was an invited guest, because no wine was served, and the "bum" of the Moscovite musical aristrocracy went toa hotel. The company at the professor's table was well mended when hisguzzling De Pack took himselr out of it. The Vpsilantian asserts that the late freeze swiped the farmer almost as severely as democratie legislation, and asks why scourges always hunt fti pairs. As to the legislation, the other fellows have controlled it for thirty years, the democrats getting in their first work this session, and jokes about scourges hunting in pairs should have the bottom soldered. It leaks. Over 1,000 citizens of Howell petitioned the council to have the liquor law enforced in that city. - Ann Arbor Courier. Heaven, for its mercy! - do the authorities of Howell require the moral backing of a thousand citizens to enforce plain, every-day laws? A city government like that hasn't lime enough in its spine to whitesvash the briiH of a clown's hat. The Normal museum, it is claimad by the Ann Arbor Argus, contains two certain bottles, one of which holds some of the blood of Col. Eilsworth, shot by Marshall Jackson while hauling down a rebel flag at Alexandria; the other containing some of the blood of Jackson, shot for killing Eilsworth. The Commercial seems to doubt the accuracy of the statement. Can any one be found to identify the blood? Congressman Gorman has scatlered at a blow the brains of that untrue lie, that the seed he sent to a V&shtenaw postoffice applicant was a hint that he had better take immediately to farming. Where now is the upas-tongued slanderer who bas been going about, as Mrs. Partington would say, "like a boy-constructor, circulating his calomel on tionest people?" Let him come from his slimy den if he dare, and show his lizard shape! The Grass Lake News, referring to the bright journalistic abilities of Miss Bower of the Ann Arbot Democrat and her assistant, Miss Corn E. DePuy, adds: "it seems that this wide-awake pair have soulyearnings for the noblest objects outside of Paradise." We can only stammer a blushing acknowledgment of this unsought encomium from their fairandgentle judgments, and venture to hope for a more explicit understanding. Which is for us, and who is the other "object"? When you find a man playing overtures to William Teil, Sonatas by Beethoven and concertos by Mendelssohn on a banjo, how can you miss him? - Ann Arbor Argus. How can you find him till you miss him? - but if you miss him, having found him you are either a bad shot or no friend of the community. The town of Willis, Washtenaw county, is suffering severely at present from the ravages of an obituary writer who gets in such things as this, on dead people: Then winged messengers from the courts of the celestial, ciad in garments of beauty, bearing in their hands a garland of flowers, entered the home to bear away the deathless spirit. Dewdrop of innocence compassed by the halos of paternal and maternal love, guardián angels will care for thee! One scarcely knows what remedy would be proper in this case. We recall however that recently a Willis newspaper correspondent was dangerously hooked by a buil. Perhaps there may be some one sufficiently acquainted with the buil to encourage him to further and more certain efforts. The practice court in the law school is pleasing everybody concerned. The preparations made and the practice received in court procedure is most valuable. Prof. Mechem is hearing one jury trial a day now and yet he scarcely expects to get through by the close of the college year as every student is assigned to two cases.