Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Pinkeye has broken out among the people of Ann Arbor. It is not the horse pinkeye. The professors are all clear of it. The Ann Arbor Argus prints the awfulliest lie! One of its editors claims to have fired into a flock of ducks on Ottawa Lake, and they were packed so closely they had to rise and spread out to get room to f all, and he gathered 27 barrels. Compared with this robust annihilator of truth, Ananias was as innocent as Moran's toothless baby. A Milanese runs a new wagonette to and from the trains. Now let him cut the street car wires, a la Adrián hackman, and thriveon the carrying monopoly. The Argus explains the defeat of the Ann Arbor municipal democratie ticket very clearly and logically, to the analytical mind, by stating that it was compelled to run against the other tickets. Of course. One man may lick another man, but when half a dozen get at him he needs as many arms as Brierius to defend himself. In Adrián the democrats had a similar fight. Besides the republicans, the nasty prohibitionists pitched into us - so we have heard. During the recent junior hop at Ann Arbor, the electric wires were twice cut and the dancers left in darkness. The hoppers are looking for the vandal. They wish to try an experiment on the gall of a dufjfer who would do a thing like that. ..... Two ladies, on the same day and about the same hour, drew each $15 from different Ann Arbor banks. Each held her purse "just as tight" going home, and each lost hers on the way. Both have since suffered from nervous headache. A university college professor last week made out a check and signed instead of his own name, that of the party to whom it was payable. The professor's check wanted that which the note of a Hudson professor lacked. He had drawn the form with designed accuracy and signed his own name. "Now boys," said the professor, "what is there wanting to make that a good note? "Painful silence for a few seconds and then a voice, '"Nother signer!" The professor aróse with a cold perspiration on his brow and dismissed the class. ..... A pamphlet on "Rules for the care of the eyes" has been issued from the Normal school and is addressed to the teachers of the state. Itcontains thirty-six rules and teachers whose eyesight will hold out long enough to read them, are ex pected to derive much benefit from them.