Adrian Press Washtenawisms

The University junior laws have defeated the high school at ball - nunc pro tune. Wild geese have colonized at Pinckney. Populist Peters might now get an audience there. During a ittle barn-bout, at practical gymnastics, Art Tedder, of Whittaker broke five ribs, last week. After five years of solid reflection D. S. Varnum arises and sues the city of Ypsilanti for a broken leg. Another victim of bad sidewalks is waving a broken rib above the heads of the Chelsea council and demanding damages. Thos. J. Farrell, liveryman of Manchester for a quarter of a century, has unbuckled his cares and taken off the headstall. Not dead but has sold out. # The Ypsilanti Commercial wants the persons who left an empty whiskey bottle on the office steps to come and get it. The sight is irritating, but not satisfying. A Dexter shoe dealer has struck it at "last." He keeps a boot black who ''shines" the shoes of customers free. Others pay. On our sole, this is a bright scheme! The Ypsilanti Commercial prints this: "Hope for the best; get ready for the worst; and take what God sends." Blessed advice, indeed! - but it found the democrats prepared. If Rev. Ostroth, of Whittaker, will return the hitching post his team took away from the Bordine farm the other night, no questions will be. asked and he will not be prosecuted. The fire last week in the edge of Saline township, by which Peter Snauble lost a spacious barn, four horses, a cow and sixty sneep, is ascribed to a straggling member of the Coxey army. The Ypsilanti high school Sophomore class, after numerous attempts, had its picture taken last week. Not a girl in it but declared that her own picture was "perfectly horrid," though secretly believing it the handsomest of the lot. The dear girls! - its a way they have. A "Law and Order" league has been organized at Ypsilanti, and it will hereafter be a long time between Sunday drinks. Many people there have interpreted so literally the command, "Be ye in the spirit on the Lord's day" that they have gone to bed Sunday night so full that their back teeth were afloat. The Dexter common council, imbued with the spirit of progess and a love of the beautiful, has supplied the village with a large number of maple shade trees. There are other common councils who would do well to scrape the fungus off their backs and do a little something to merit the blessings of posterity. William Gerstner, of Ann Arbor, had retired and his ground-swell snore proclaimed his remoteness in dreamland; so that when a tramp pounded at the door and demanded food, Mrs. Gerstner declined to arouse her lord, but seized a revolver and opening the door ordered the Coxeyite to "get" or she would shoot. The advocate of'good roads" told her to shoot and be , and she let drive. Then fled the commonwealer over the fence - his stomach for supper all gone - and escaped in the enfoldment of black but merciful night, hotly pursued by Mrs. Gerstner who was anxious to have another pop at him. Returnïng, the bugled blast from Gerstner's "gok" gave proof to his wife that his flag was still there, though his soul was marching on in dreamland. She awakened him not and he only learned next morning what had happened. The tramp was caught by the pólice. Ypsilanti is badly mortified. The steel engraving of Gen. Ypsilanti, after whom she was named, is missing. It was presented by the government of Greece, in compliment for the christening. Anyone knowing the skulking place of the old pagan will do a favor to the city by reporting it. It is possible that ! some Vandal has captured and is holding him for ransom. Justice Bennett, of Ann Arbor, married a couple Sunday of last week, and a mystery deep and dark as a Stygian night hangs over it. County clerk and squire refuse information, but say the parties are "high up." Madam Inquisitive has gone to bed with an attack of nerv1 ous disappointment, and raves about the mum officials as "mean, dirty things. " So they are - so they are! It is learned from the Yale News that another arctic expedition will sail, and that Ann Arbor will furnish ten of the explorers, the enterprise to be under the direction of Dr. F. A. Cook, ethnologist of the Peary expedition. Cook's hobby is the differentiation of races. He cares no more for the north pole than for a bamboo fish pole, the object of the expedition being sulely to ascertain whether or not the Folarics have hair in the hollows of their feet. By the way President Angelí knows nothing of any Ann Arbor enlistments. Carlos Allen, near Milan, last week said he would go out and blow up some stumps; and soon the cheerful spectacle was witnessed, of this spiritedcitizen carryinga box of dynamite cartridges in one hand and a flaming torch in the other. This sublime and beautiful faith in providence, commanded the admiration of thehired man, who, however, gave Allen a wide berth. Soon he noticed that some sparks and the cartridge box had become acquainted and he yelled to Allen to "cast his burden on the Lord" and run like thunder. Allen run as directed, but the box exploded before he was a dozen feet away, and filled him so full of cartridge shells, that if he lives - as the doctor now hopes he may - he will let himself out on shares, to be worked as a copper mine. Moral: - Always carry a lighted torch with your dynamite cartridges.