Chelsea is now stagering along with only three saloons, but there is a spirited prospect of more. Tremen dous fiocks of crows roost in the trees by the river at Ann Arbor Perhaps they are there to offer themselves to defeated postoffice candidates. In gathering up an armful of groceries the other day, Bert Robinson, of Ann Arbor, accidentally scooped in a sack of flour, and his heedlessness cost him $25 in justice court. Fremont Patterson, of Ypsilanti, is about to bring out. a ''unicycle," wheel, he has just taken out of his brain. It is thought that it will prove a great convenience in break - ing his neck. A Milán young woman broke a tooth recently eating soup. That must have been pretty tough soup. - Ann Arbor Argus. The tooth came in contact with a vegetable oyster shell. It is both affirmed and denied that the young ladies of Ypsilanti are soon to give a black-faced minstrel show. Is it to be or not to be? That is the question that is jarring the foundations of society. Chelsea sidewalks consist chiefly of holes with pieces of boards nailed over them. The sidewalk committeee after sitting on the fence all the spring as a committee of the hole,"finally arose and took action. The Keely insti tute having been removed from Ypsüanti to Detroit last week, the patients in course of treatment tooit up their march for the new location, looking, so it is said, like a political torchlight procession. The grand organ in Normal hall, which was somewhat above its business has been tuned down to the international pitch. The gymnasium of the insiitution is nearly ready to begin offering patients to the surgeons. Miss Josie Davidson of Ann Arbor, is suffering from the effect of dropping a heavy weight on one of her feet. No jokes will be tolerated. The weight could have fallen somewhere else. Josie is no Cook county (Illinois) girl. Several cases of typhoid fever in Ann Arbor have been traced to a cistern, contaminated from a cesspool. And still is heard the voice of Old Fungusback, grumbling about his sewer tax, and declaring that there ain't no sense in the germ theory. The Dexter Leader applies the editorial toe with merited vigor to the lazy slugs around town, who had too little life to set out the trees the council provided them, free. The board of health should dump these mollusks out of town. They will rot in hot weather. A series of experiments with the air pump have been begun for the benefit of the grades, Prof. Ross being the operator. - -Ypsilantian School Notes. It is strange that such primitive methods still prevail at the seat of scholasticism. One good newspaper interviewer would be worth a dozen air pumps. Married - April 28, Albert C. Browning to Miss Myrtie Slayton, Rev. V. J. Balmer officiating. - Dundee Ledger. And is this all the editor has to say of his marriage? "numerous and costly" wedding presents? No "Heaven bless you my children?" Nevertheless here are congratulations. An Ypsilanti dispatch to the Detroit Journal brands with falsehood the rumor that Capt. Allen had declared himself not in the congressional field this year, the Captain having never authorized such a statement. It is suspected that Madam Rumor has bartered her political honor to some unscruplous candidate who is still in the brush. A party of 14 young ladies of this city, whose birthdays occur in April, held an April party on Monday evening. They passed a resolution that they would remain single and not be "April 'fooled" by anybody. - Ann Arbor Register. It is learned that at a later meeting of the club, called for the purpose, it was unanimously "Resolved, That the resolution 'That we remain single and not be April fooled by anybody', passed at our last previous meeting, be and the same is hereby rescinded." Dr. F. G. Novy, junior professor of Hygiëne and Physiological Chemestry of the University, is about to spring a new text book on Bacteriology, upon the world. The time has been - and not so long ago - when men walked forth in the pride and pomp of conscious empire. Then came chemistry, and microscopy and with them trillions of bacteria, and his kingdom was subverted. He cannot even kiss his girl now, without danger of loading his system with fatal germs. Thus his sweetheart - may prove his"honey-guide" to death.