Adrian Press Washtenawisms

Fifty children, all as tickled as "little tikes" will wind the May pole at Ypsilanti next Tuesday. May festival. The Manchester "Grammar Rooraers" walloped the syntax out of the Norvillians, at bal'l, last week. They are decidedly "active transitive." The Times found ali of the Ypsilanti saloons "shut up tight," last Sunday. - Commercial. What did the saloons have against the reporter. The Ann Arbor Democrat meanly advertises its prosperity and arouses the envy of its cotemporaries by announcing the discovery of a new $2 counterfeit. Chelsea is a kind of English ship yard. It is a shipping point for vessel timber, destined for England. AH the town needs is an ocean wharf and rolled up-pants to be a Liverpool. The Dexter Leader construes sunburned noses into a symptoru of baseball. The sign is not infalliby that of baseball. The study of ithological astronomy will develop the iame brilliant hue. "Helio, pop! " was the salutation of Revenue Collector Schmid's youngest "kid;" the other day. It was the first time Schmidt had ever met him. He came to help the eider Schmidt spend the revenue. In his address at the gymnasium dedication Capt. Allen said: "Education and Religión is the motto of Ypsilanti and our aim and boast." His aim and boast! Vet that man promised the sheep 50 cents a pound for their wool, under McKinley's tarift'! # Two young men, full of whiskey, jumped from an Ypsilanti bridge iato the river, Sunday of last week. The utmost efforts were put forth to rescue them. Unfortunately this was accomplished by a brave but misguided youth named Bert Verschoor. # Mayor Seymour has banished the nickle in slot machines and all other automatic gambling devices from the rit'. - Vpsilantian. This will be a severe blow to the W, C. T. U. street lemonade fountain. Undoubtedly the saloons put the council up to this job. The oíd M. C. "turn-table" at Dexter, which years and years ago reversed the pigmy enjines that flew over the strap rail at the rate of some miles or more an hour, has been filled in with dirt. Old railroad men to whom the ancient turn table was as dear as a friend, "turned" away to hide memory's tear. The recent elections in Hawaii, being fovorable to the existing provincial government, the Ann Arbor Courier slaps both thighs and yells, "Hurrah for the liberty-loving patriotic sons of Americans in these islands of the Pacific sea!" Bravo! A good healthy whoop like that, it does one good to hear, though we confess it may be giving aid and comfort to the enemies of the administration - which we support. The unreasonablc Milan Leader raanifests irritability because a subscriber,who wants his address changed, omitted to sign his name or state where he was then getnng the paper. It is strange what tempers some editors have. Now to us it makes no difference about such omissions. We know every man, woman and child in the United States and their present and future address, especialy the latter - in cases of non-paying subscriptions. A scheme, broached some time ago, has fruited at the Ann Arbor M. E. church, which now has a baby asylum where infants are checked by the mothers and left in the care of a nurse, competent to know just what the youngster requires during the maternal absence and how to minister to it. The check enables the mother to get back the same baby she left. Fraud is thus impossible and everything is " on the square." Bread, butter and cold ham, not being rich enough for the blood of a lousy tramp who demanded better food of oíd Mr. and Mrs. Nelson, of Dexter, he threatened violence. A young girl who was present, ran home and brought her sister Edith, Bross. She ordered the scalawag out, but not knowing she was loaded, he refused and she blazed away at him with a revolver. Immediately his legs assumed the most unwonted and reckless activity and he nearly feil over himself in getting out door. If Miss Bross is not engaged she should immediately have offers. The Washtenaw Times " believes that it voices the general sentiment of Ann Arbor citizens in hoping that the promise of Mr. Reynolds that Ann Arbor will soon have a street railway system based on scientific plans, and of which the city may be proud, will prove no bluff. " If the Ann Arbor company possessed the looth part of the bluff and cheek ot the Adrián street car company, it would run lts cars when, where and how it pleased, regardless of time, space or ordinances. It is a law unto itself, limited only by its sometimes inability to cash up $4.50 per day in advance, to the Power company, in which case the cars do not run that day.