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Adrian Press Washtenawisms

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The croaker declares that Dexter ' would have no Fourth of Juiy, and I echo answers. "Uly!" Sloman is a Dundee barber; but i he yells "Next," as often as any of! them. Mugg was a barber but he quit. The Dexter board of review should furnish some well seasoned j baseball umpires. The "kicking"! on them has been cordial and thorough. i The Ann Arbor Democrat has discovered in a show window, a sign ■ which reads, "your choice in panting. " None but one-legged men and dogs will be interested. Some Dundee thief whose god j was his stomach, and who feared i neither ihe Lord nor the marshal, coolly sho.uldered and walked away with a dressed -sheep,1 from Slayton's market, one evening last week. Two hundred and eighteen law seniors were admitted to the bar in Ann Arbor last week. Think of it ! - two hundred and eighteen legal spiders will soon be nesting on silken webs, in dingy law offices, waiting for ñies; and they'll catch 'em! Martin Ryan, of Northfield has taken the Ann Arbor Argus fiftytwo consecutive years. and, would you believe it ? - is still as hearty and vigorous as an iron hitching post. One never knows what his ; constitution will stand till he puts it to the test. Dundee is preparing to give one of those "old fashoned" Fourth of July celebrations- one of the kind that makes the American patriot - just over from Ireland - feel that he can whip acres of British; one that l causes a man to get up the next morning with a head on him, like a two-dollar-and-a-half spittoon. Over in the little hustling Chelsea the .postoffice fight is on, to an incandescent degree, and the records of candidates are searched with cal cium lights. Everything "agin a man" is taken into account. If he "toes in," or has catarrh, or eats pie with his knife, it goes to Washington in a protest against his appointment. The fees for opening the Dundee church for funerals is 50 cents, to be paid to the janitor, before the corpse can get the right of way in. A correspondent of the Milan Leader thinks that notice of this fee should be posted up "so that all who run may read." "All who read may run," if we may be allowed to amend. The Wayne Reviesvhaving reported a snake with sixteen rattles, now comes the Northville Record, which chops off a rattle and saith: "Fifteen, by dear Review. In matters of this kind the press cannot be too accurate." It is well to be right, but hardly necessary to be excessively right. Give the snake back his rattle. The Free Press having announced the completion of its Ó2d year, the Ann Arbor Argus jerks up its galluses another notch, ranges up beside the F. P. and remarks, "You're only two years older than I am, bub." Both are now prosperous, yet both have seen the time when they went barefooted, and had "stone-bruises." It was Prof. Stanley's birthday. The time was the 25th, and the place Ann Arbor. Prof. is the man who waves the black-thorn, to the rythm of the "Choral Union." The Union on the above occasion, backed him into a corner and fastened an oíd yellow watch on him, worth $125. It was a "stem-winder" on the professor. A correspondent of the Ypsilanti Commercial writes of the havoc the worms are doing in the orchards and wants an article in the newspape,rs, on the special need of the hour. We know of no article that could be written that wou ld kill the worms; but perhaps some wool protectionist could be induced to address them. It would be severe on the worms, but, we cannot afford to be woman-hearted when the evil calis for a drastic remedy. The Washtenaw Daily Times notes the introduction in Ypsilanti, of the " Bloomer" costume for lady bicyclists, Madame Gossip heard that a prominent lady would set the fashion for the city, and was on hand for the purpose of being "horribly shocked;" but the habit was so pretty and sensible, that sudden disappointment collapsed the old Madame's corset stays, and she is abed with nervous prostration. Because the Press said that the Manchesters waüoped the lains at ball, up jumps the vilie Record with the followirg' vitriotic eruption. That's right; if any ball club gets beat at any point within a hundred miles of us, say it was the j ville club. The Northvilie club has never heard of Manchester, b.i? just because they have lost three or four games this season, every club in the state has an idea it has been their victim. It was the Norvell - not the Northvilie club, Bro. Neal. Now, roll down your sleeves, put on your coat and go back in your office and write us a suitable apology. When we sav Norvillians, we don't mean Northvillians; they are separated by a doublé aspírate


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News