A Mean, Dirty Trick

me sympatny oí tnis journal is hereby extended to Capt. E. P. Allen, of Ypsilanti, in a grievous and unexpected affliction that carne upon him last Sunday. It is one that appeals not only to ihe sympathy but to the generosity of the ex-congressman's friends. As we gather them, the circumstances were as follows: Saturday afternoon Capt. Allen saw in the market sorae elegant late strawberries and immediately closed out the dealer at a high price and gave instruction at home for a grand Sunday closing of the shortcake season. Now Captain Allen, as all who know him will testify, is not only gifted with fog-horn eloquence which in the last campaign echoed from the hills of Andrescoggin to the peak of Popocataptl, but also with liberal layers of fatty tissue about the midway plaisance; and as last Sunday was very fervid at about the dinner hour and the champion of the wool tariff feit his shirt collar going down under the humidity of perspiration, he removed his coat and vest and hung them in the hall-way, let out the buckle at the back of his pantaloons a couple or three inches and ciad in his suspenders, attacked the the short-cake with a perish-mineenemy air. While thus peacefully engaged, and without there having been any alarm at the door, a thief entered the hall and "swiped" the captain's vest, coat and gold watch. The "swiper" is not known, but A. J. Sawyei aod Joe T. Jacobs are both under suspicion, and some say George Spalding, of Monroe, was seen lurking in th evicinage. Any person having an old coat and vest to spare can do an act of charity by forwarding the same immediately to Capt. Allen, provided they are not in the present condition of the republican party of Michigan - "ripped up the back." Addendum Korrectum: - Since the above was placed in type, news has been received that the captain has found his clothes, just where he put them himself. His mind bad been affected by a complication of strawberry shortcake and congressional lipotoodo. Don't send him any clothes. The imputation upon the other congressional candidates is hereby withdrawn.