No Use For Ghosts

A yonng gentleman who lately left his father's house, having exhausted his credit, telegraphed the other day to his parents: "Your son Walter was killed this morning by a falling chimney. What shall we do with the remains?' ' ín reply a check was sent for f 20, with the request, "Bury them. " The young gentleman pocketed the money and had an elabórate spree. By and by he sent his father the following note: I have just learned íliat an infámeme scoundrel named Barker sent you a fletitious account of my death and swindled you out of L20. He also borrowed a L10 note from me and left the country. I write to inform you tliat I am still alive and long to see the parental roof again. I ara in somewhat reduced circumstances, the accumulations of the last flve years having been lost- a disastrous stock Bpeculation- and if you would only spare me L20 1 would ever be thankf ul for your favor. Give mv love to all. A few days later the cunning youth received the following dignified letter from his outraged parent: My Dear Son - I have buried you once, and that is the end of it. I decli#j to have any transactiotas with a ghost. Yours in the flesh. - Spare Moments.