Roundabouts

The Carleton creamery is "busted" enterpnse. A fine pair of elk horns wer fished from Grass Lake the othe day. The elk got away. The West Side school of Hudso has secured Prof. Hawkes, of How ell. at a rental of $1,000 per annum The Baptist church of Wayne ha received a new coat of white paint and looks as pure and spotless a the ermine of sanctification. Truman Gee last week received an order from Chicago for 50 dozen brooms and ten dozen small brooms - Dundee Reporter. Ü Gee! John Rohrer while passing through Napoleon, the other day, drove ove a cartridge, which immediately re sponded and whacked a bullet into one of his legs. Myron McCrumb once wore as fine a nose as any there was in Novi; but he stood up in his cart to piek the illusive cherry and his horse suddenly started. Influenced by the advice of his doctor and that strange smile on the face of the undertaker, D. E. Bar ney, a Howell tombstone cutter, has retired from business. Clinton township, Lenawee county, has gained 202 population in the past four years. Death has had only a slim hold there and the infant industries have prospered. Keyes, of the Durand Express, feels that Brighton needs him, and t is going to have him whether or no. He will start a paper there. This comes of that "long-feit want." Lightning, instead of temperance reform, struck "Jim" Wnght's eider mili at Wayne last week and badly slivered up the building. Here is a case of two wrongs for one Wright. - Northville Record. The four magistrates who uphold the judicial dignity of Cambridge, Lenawee county, are Frank Groger, Frank Darling,' Frank Kinney and Frank Alderdyce. Frankly it is al Four-"squire" aftair. , Jackson boasts of an increase of about 2,000 population in four years. The enumerators have fixed the number of inhabitants at 22,750. There are about five inmates to a house, in neat families. A woman in London, Monroe county only fifty years of age, has a cUughter aged forty-two and a son forty one years old. The census sometimes discloses facts which, if not sworn to, would appear incredible. The Eaton county board of supervisors met on the 7th to play eucnre, chew tobáceo and charge up time to the taxpayers. As the weather was fair during the session the necessity of spreading umbrellas under the leaky roof did not arise. Latimer, the matricide in solitary confinement in Jackson prison, is losing his flesh and there are other signs of early dissolution of this polite, but cold-blooded wretch. He still asserts that he did not mean that the poison he gave keeper Haight should prove fatal. An omnibus batch of forty probationers was recently admitted to full membership with the Tecumseh M. E. church. In striking contrast with this, was the case of an Irishraan, and concerning it he deposes and says: "I jined on sax months' probation and behaved so well that be jabers they let me off in three." The editor of the South Lyon Excelsior has "laid off" for a few days for the purpose of stabbing frogs at Whitmore lake and would like to have correspondents "hump" themselves "for the next two issues," adding that he believes his readers will enjoy the change. Very few winged insects collect on Mr. Rorabacher. "Nevermind those Ianterns; they are there only tora joke, - gelang!" remarked Bi. Smith to Bert Beagle on the night of the 4th, near Azalia; and before another tick of the watch horse, carriage and men were wrecked in an open culvert, whence proceeded imprecations that greatly strengthened the faith of those who believe in the old version of the bible. If you have anything to say about a person let your language be the same as if that person were present. This rule will stop gossiping and lyng. - Grass Lake News. Certainly. We have told the red-headed beast who runs the alleged newspaper over the way, that he was a pea-green demon with eyes in his sides, a cottonwood tail and a cork neck and are not afraid to say it behind his iack. Morenci celebrated the 4th with dynamite, and the glaziers have aot yet finished putting in the new plate glass. The 4th of July araounts to something down that way. The Adrián waterworks, with its choice aquarium of lizards, mudturtles and water-snakes, is about to pass into the hands of a receiver tor ihe protection of the bondholders. At Diamondale an old rascal aged 60, is under arrest for an assault on a 9-years-old girl. He belongs to a sect of people called "No-church," but this will afford him no immunity from the "iron-works." Williarn Crisher and Fied Britton are under $500 bail for selling something called "hop-pop" in the dry county of Hillsdale, one bottle of which, it is said, would make a man hop-up and hit his grand-mother. Lightning recently struck the house of James A. King, of Jefferson, Hillsdale county, where a little girl was playing with a cat. The stroke left the child uninjured, but it knocked the nine lives out of the cat. Rev. C. W. Baldwin, of Adrián, in a sermón on the Declaration of Independence, claimed that this was still a country of slavery so long as liquor continúes to be sold. The eider is right. We shall never be thoroughly emancipated till whiskey s free. The Wayne Tidings is an avowed A. P. A. paper, but says it "does not discrimínate against any man, woman or child on account of their religious or political belief." Why certainly not. The editor would not roast and eat a Catholic baby - unless it were very fat and tender. The inducements given by the marriageable old maids here, the th, proved they wanted none of the 'horrid men" on their plates. - outh Lyon Excelsior. Well, what ind of a meal could they make of lot of nicotine-pickled bachelors nd second and third hand widowrs? "As the legal representative of this corporation the Leader welcomes the doctor and his estimable wife to our beautiful village, and hopes that their sojourn here will be mutually pleasant," is the salute of Milan's editor to a new moundbuilder, just arrived. He had read the injunction, "Agree with thine adversary quickly." The "hen race" bet ween Tom and Doe Turner, of Matte.-,on, in the past six months has beeu luarvelously close, considering Tom has an advantage of 30 hens, and is in the lead only 44 eggs at the half mile post. Tom has gathered 15,551 eggs and Doe has found 15,507 eggs. - Coldwater Courier. Some patriotic son of a saw-horse, while the populist convention was at its most lund climax, at Lansing, on the 4th, threw a lighted bunch of fire crackers in the entrance of the hall. It made Mr.jGrece pretty hot, as it always does when he hears a thrashing machine or steam caliope, or anything that makes more noise than he can. Last Sunday, while Rev. Erastus Sparks, of Leoni, was fighting flies and warning sinners to flee from the wrath to come, a walking delégate for perdition, stole the ministerial brogans from his back stoop, dug a quantity of potatoes from his garden, and disappeared in a piece of woods to roast his dinner and admire his ecclesiastical foot-gear. See what a live newspaper man can do. In 1890 Petersburg had 408 people, while now it has 445. Theonly thing it has lost is the "h" that formerly was the aspirated silent finality of its corporate cognomen, and which the postoffice authorities have directed to be chopped off in the official writing. - Adrián Press. The "h" you say! The business of Plymouth's fish peddler was ruined by the report that he was dead frorn small-pox. He denies it in the most vehement manner, but it is no use - people look upon his statement as another piscatorial lie, and still mourn him as dead and praise his memory as that of the ablest representative of the fisherman's club in Plymouth. English sparrows showed their contempt for American institutions by filling the eagle in the Charlotte court house full of straw and raising their young ones in him. Onthe4th, while workmen were repairing the roof, using & blowpipe for the purpose, sparks entered the eagle and up the went splendid court house in a fourth of July flarae. Loss I25,000. Penny-wise insurance, Í12,000.