Washtenawisms

The Sill ejïjfvatat Milan will hold 40,00u egp The förces, lately eDgasfftd in dispersing the Coxey army encampea near Ypsilaüti. talk o! ïorming a veteran's union. Dexter has re-elected F. W. Smith to a third term of the school directorate. When they get a good man in a trap over there, they dou't let him go. The Ypsilaüti Kod and Gun club will shoot, every Tuesday afternoon. The Anu Arbor trap shooters are in - vited to go over and have some ot ït. The Manchester Enterprise does not want anyone to break, his neck piebing cherries, but wishes the victim to report it at the office, should it hapCome war, famine, pestilence, liglitniug, tempest or sudden death, the Chelsea fair will take place October üth. loth and lltli. The ñat has gone forth. The village tax ruil of Saline is now open to the worship and adruiration oí citizEiis with a surplus. Those without a surplus had better get on e within the next 30 dajs. Ed. Dieterle, of Bridgewater, by falling trom a load of hay last week, settled an uncertainty in his mind concerning the velouity of a falling body. His ribs are slowly mendiug. At the Chelsea school meeting it was voted to add the teaching of the rudiments of vocal music to the work of the school. V. F. Riemenschneider and W. J. Knapp were elected trustees. Over in Chelsea the ládies are talking about the way to a man's heart being through his stomach. Several old back numbers in the community are waiting for the female stomach plow. Wliat some of the farmers around Wamplers lost in harvesting on the 4th they quite made up on the following Sunday, not forgetting to remember the Sabbath day aud keep it f uil of holes. Clematis lodge, Daughters of Rebecca, of Milan.has been provided with the followit'g otlicers: N. G., Mrs. D. "VVhaley, V. G., Mis. N. VVhaiey, secretary, Mis. E. Bray, treasurer, Mis. W. Lewis. Prof. F. R. Gorton, of the l'hysical Science department of the Normal, recently crossed the border into Ridgeway and secured the heart aud hand of Miss Jennie H. Osgood. So much for Fhysical science. At the Belleville school meeting some young men who weVe not ou the tax list but are ovvners of some personal property, swore in their votes. Thereupon aróse a dispute which it is said the courts may settle. While Joseph Reidie, of Bridgewater, was reasoning with a balky binder last week, the deuced knotter went off and drove the needle entirely through his hand. How little confidence can be placed in human nature. In acknowledging a visir, trom EditiM- Smithe. oí tlie Ypsilanti Cornmercia.1, last wtfiv. liie Argus accidentally credited him to the Ypsilantiaii. We hasten to repair the iujury aud hope to escape a libel suit trom both paper. Manchester is about to have a hall day's sport to consist of' bicycle races, ball game, etc. Clinton and Tecuinseh are aching for a rub with Manchester and there is a cheerf ui dispositioii to give the border rufflans their stomachs f all. Dr. Henry D. Heller, a Saline dentist of prominerice, died unexpectedly at Northville last Tuesday. He attended church the previous Sunday, and was thought to be improving from an illness for which he was taking treatment. This remarkable adveriisement appears inWayneTidings: "Goto Henry Loss for twins. You eau buy 100 pounds pure Manilla for $9." For twins read twine. The Tidings' types piayed tricks. But Mr. Loss' business feit the Ímpetus of printers" hik. As yet not a single rattlesnake bite is reported from the huckleberry bushes of Manchester. This is thouglit to be due to the experience last season of au old rattler with 22 links on his tail, who snagged the calf of a cork-Iegged voman and gave a toothless report of it to his tamil}1. The Dexter council is too busy keeping the flies off its corporate nose to hire a man with a hammer to drive down the nails in the sidewalks, and "the saint who enjoys the communion of heaven. and sinner who dares remain uuforgiven," alike stumble and ose their soles. The Y psilantian is engaged in kicking the kickers who object to good government and the suppression of vice and immortality within the gates of the city; and it brands all such as "the allies of the saloon and of the house of ill fame." Mighty tough town- that Ypsilanti. The Ypsilanti water well, which, like a cow in hot weather, seemed to be '"going dry," has suddenly "come to its milk" and delivers a greater flow than ever. The process was simple. They spliced the bottom of the hole about three feet and the rush of water to the vacuüm forced new channels in the sand stratum. Gen. Elmer W. Bowen, of the Eirst Brigade, M. N. G., is a postal clerk, and was on his run through Delray when the Wabash fireman and engineer were assaulted. He would have given a year's salary for fifteen miuutes' command of a bayonet charge at that time. As it was, the only weapons he possessed were tie saeks and his tongue. Dexters "big drunk" on the Fourth was a great success. We understand that, notwithstanding the promises that the saloons would be closed on tbat day, they were wide open and did a land office business.- Chelsea Ilerald. The editor of the Herald seems determined oever to forgive himself for not being iii Dexter on the 4th of July. Rev. C. S. Bullock, of Saline, is the inventor of an electric heater, which produces a tempeiatuie of great torridity. Theology, like the tariff, is likely never to be settled. Just as the people had become fairly used to the doctrine of the new revisión, along comes this Saline preacher with his electric heater. What has been gained by the closing of the "Ironworks" if Eider Bullock's invention prevails. In the base ball contest at Ypsüanti, lust week betvveen the barebone and belly-blubber nines the tonner won i ii ;i score of 29 to 'Z'. it was amusing to witiieas tats fumble the bail and flap their luiigs duripg tbn game. They put np u good tigiit, but the "slivers'' were tou much tor them llev. Dan Shier, tiie well-known Methodist Üshermau. will soon lecture at Manchester. iiubjeet: -Beyomi the Rockies." If the eider sticks to his subject, an interesting lecture is in store for Manchester; but some brother should sit beside Rev. Shier and pinch his leg when he wanders ! trom the Kockies to rock bass. While the phamous phat-and-lean base ball game was goiug on at ; lanti, a jury were sitting on Minnie ; Hazel, charged with keeping a gilded establishment for the downfail of fenceless men. Th at the jury was long j out and tailed to agree shows that base ball hasn't the bold on the affectiona of the public that it once had. l)i. Conklin, ot Manchester, one evening last week started in to give I lus young son and another small boy j a lesson in base ball. [Ie said he used to be a regular roarer at ball wheu he was a boy. and he could show 'em all about it. Tlien he went and stood behind bub, who let go at the ball with his bat. Had he hit it, it would still i-e chasing Gale's cornet; but the blow got home ou the doctor's smelling apparatua, and he uow has as large. fine looking Dose as any there is in cüester, and has abandoned the role of I instructor. How is this? We meet men almost every day seeking help for harvest work, and at the same time men apparently in good bodily health sitting on the iron railings near the Huron and Cougress street crossing. - Ypsilantian. Any consumptive can ride a reaper, but it requires vitality and endurance to sit on a blistering hot railing all day and run thia government. The men who know just what to do in the hour of a great crisis, are often the very persons whom some newspapers, in their sa vage ignorance, jump upon with both feet. The floral locomotive in the Central depot garden at Ypsilanti is "fearfully and wondeifully made." We quote the "The boiler and wlieels are composed of Alternanthera rosea nana, the bell, of Alternanthera áurea nana, the headlight, pistons and cab Windows, of Echeveria secunda, the cab. of Alternanthera versi color, which with 8edum vaiiegatum, forms the cowcatcher. Tha top ot the cab is Aresena lenüiuii, and all vacaneies are filled with Sedum variegatuni.'" The perpetration of these names on employees, by the company. would justify a renewal of the strike on the Centra' I. The Adrián Press relates a fiinny experience of Kevenue Collector Schmid, of Manchester, who reoently called at a house and on knocking, receiveii the tart admonition from the ladv inside that he would certainly be well spanked, unless he went away immediately. But Schmid had bet-n often spanked yhen a kid that he reinained unterritied and walkilig in. was met witli a profusión of apologies. "Keally," said the lady, "I thought it was tliat rascally boy of mine."' With revenue collectors it is different in different places. In some places they get off without a spanking and in others they are shot.