He Got Into The Diet

The party was in conversation over its beer of all shades and all degrees of excellence, and talos had been told in several languages and of diverse degrees of trustworthiness when the Hungariau pounced upon au opportunity - he had bis glass empty first - to teil for the hundredth time of the beauties of his native Budapest. The baths, the Andrassy avenue, the park, the theaters, the bridge, the palaces, the mu3io and the "iucomparably beautiful womeu" had all been described, and Hnngarian Ktatesmen, from Kossuth to Kalnoky, lauded when a story teller interrupted with : "Budapest may be all thr.t you claim for it, but 111 never forget an experience I had there when I fooled sorue of its bigwigs. It was only a few years a go, when I stopped there for a rest on my way from Paris by the Oriental express to Constantinople. I noticed au nnusual excitement at the Hotel Hungaxia, could see there were many strangers in town, and across the Dannbe, over the Schloss, floated the royal standard of Hungary as a sign that the king was there. You know the Hungarians never speak of Franz Josef as emperor, always as king. "During the day I heard that the imuistry would resigu the next day, and that Premier Tisza would make his last address in parliament. Well, you can well imagine I wanted to be in at the death and set about to secure a ticket of admission to the diet hall. Those whom I asked simply laughed at me. Tickets were at a high premium, and some to whom I applied gave me a Hungarian look of witheriug contempt which made me only more anxious to get there. "But the morro w carne, and I saw the chances for a peép at the show growing exasperatingly less, when I suddenly feit myself possessed of an idea. I went to the house of parliament and after inuch inquiry learned that the librarían of the upper house, and he alone, could adinit me, and I succeeded in seeing him. lm surprised, 1 said to mm, 'that you have made no provisión for the press at a time so important as this. ' 'Press?' said he. 'Why, press tickets have been issued tó all who are entlitled to them, and if you have received none it's a mistake - an oversight. ' He oalled a servant, said something in a jargon which I could not understaud and made me a bow of dismissal. The man, who ■was dressed to go on in the chorus of the 'Beggar Student' or the 'Black Hassar, ' beckoned me to follow him, led ine to an inner room, where he left me with a desk, two chairs and my guilty conscience. I began to wish myself back at the hotel, with its good wine, good music and fine view on the Danube. Visions of pólice investigation and an exposure, with possibly a term in a Hungarian jail, rose before me, for you know I had no more to do with newspaper business thau I had with African exploration, when a clerk entered and with many a flirt and flutter proceeded to make out my credentials ior admission to the press loge. "He was a funny little man, this olerk, who labored under the hallucination that he could speak English, and he was further afflicted with that mild lorm of iusanity which manifests itself in the dyed mustache. He took my name aud pedigree, asked me whence I carne and how long I proposed to reniain iu the city, and I answered all with that promptness aud strict truthfulness which one acquires by years of association with the nvenibers of this club. "Finally he put the poser, 'What is the name of your paper?' I thought with right tliat all great papers must be represented aud feared that if I mentioned oue of them I would be discovered and lost; so, thinking of the motto of the club, 'God loves a cheerful liar, ' I said without a moment's hesitation, 'The North Adams Transcript.' He didn't just remember the name and had to ask as to the spelling several times while inaking out the documeuts by nieans of which I was to secure an adruissiou card, but if he had pressed me after I saw that the bluft' went I would have told Mm a circulation story which - well, which would not be in keeping with The Transcript's books. "Well, I got into the press loge in time to hear Hungary's grand old man, Tisza, make the greatest speech of his life. Of course I could not understand his Hungarian, perfect as it no doubt was, but the enthusiasin which he aroused seemed contagious, and once during his talk, when a great shout of approval filled the chamber, women waved their handkerchiefs and fans, and members of the opposition even looked pleased, I caught myself applauding, but I quickly recalled the fact that I was there as The Trauscript representative and as such had no opinión. "The picture f rom the gallery where 'we of the press' sat was one I shall never forget. Every inch of room in the spectators' pens was occupied, every deputy 's chair was taken, and oh the floor the monotony of the black and white was broken by the pictruresque costumes of the bishops, whose office entitles theru to a seat in the house. "Af ter it was all over I went with my new compauions of the press to a nearby restaurant, where we ate all sorts of things, all seasoned more or less with paprika, and drank tokay wine. I told my story, and The Transcript received its baptism of Hungarian fire - Kelinerein glassDunkles bitte. "- New York Tribune. A caterpillar in the course of a month will devour 6,000 times its owu weight in food. It will take a man three inonths "before he eats an amount of food equai to hia own weight.