Washtenawisms

D. W. Potter, of Willis, is suff eriiig from an ulcer thai obscures the sighc of one eye. Mrs. Frank Wiaud, of "ïpsilanti town, was recently severely bitten by a no-account dog. Rev. S. Calkins, of South Lyou, has been engaged for a series of semimonthly sermons at Salem. The costfy hor8e owned by Mr. Bell, of Ypsilanti, has been snatched from the grave by the skill of Dr. Kestell. It is thought that the lower rooms of the Ypsilanti school building will be ready for use by tlie opening of the uext school year. James Iluedler, of Ohelsea, suffered a sunstroke in his onion üeld, last week. lie refused to staystruck, howver. and is around us usual. Mrs. J. M. Whitaker, of Chelsea, while visiting some triends last Weduesday, was stricken wïth paralysis. There is no hope for her recovery. Mrs. Burke Spencer, of Ypsilanti, recently arrived home from San Francisco, naving ridden from ügden to Chicago, vvith the train under soldier gaard, after a tie-up of 17 days. Mr. and Mrs. C. K. Kelley, of Ypsilanti town, having lived together jlo jeais, without either of them applyiug for a divorce, were rewarded last week with a set of dishes and the presence of a crowd of friends. Why should the republicana of the state deprive Detroit of the valuable services of Pingree by nominating him for Governor ? "ïwould be cruel, and the republicans are never that.- YpsiJantian. This is puiely "ironikle." The Sentinel attacks the Ypsilantian '-Law and Order League'' writer, who alleges great good to ï'psilauti by reason ut its existence, the sum or which, uot in words, but in caeaning is, tliat the "Law and Order League" writer is an internal, dodgasted- tliat is to say, his theory is not supported by sufficient proof . Mr. T. W. Boatwright has just finjshed putting in a big job lor D. L. Quirk on his farms at üelleville, a regular systeni of water works,containing i'our Star wind milis, eight O-barrel tanks, i'our iarge elevated tanks, and tour Hoosier hydrants, and about 2,000 f eet of 1-iuch galvamzed pipe. - Ypsilanti Commercial. James F. Burke, ex-president of the repubiican Unlversity league, late a visitor in Ann Arbor in Pingree's interest, was last seen at Ypsilanti, just before "the tie-up'' of Farmer Platt, and it is probable that his hide now ornaments the gable end of Farmer Rich's baru. Such are some of the mutations of life. A base ball is on exhibition in an Ypsilanti show window, which the Ypsilantian states will be preseuted to the Atlantis club "when they win a game." The ball is an elegant one and will make a capital present if the carpet bugs can be kept trom gnawiug the stitches for a year or two, or till the game is won. it, is reported that Farmer Platt, of Fittstield, who was buund and gagged by Rich highwaymen and lef t in the .suu behind the" political cowshed on the day of the republican county convention, has cut his bonds, got hold of a proxy and today will show up in war paiut, with a whoop and a tomahawk, nt the state convention. Following is the Ypsilanti Commercial's experience with a newly invented squash bug: "The animal seenis indifferent to hellebore, paris green and all the medicaments we have tried on him. When the Argus comes we're going to read him a few columns and see bow he likes that. P. S.-VVe shan't necd the Argus- kerosene llxes the biiLr. Particular P. 8. - It also ñxes the squash!" The Commercial wil] hereafter let strange gods alone and keep ou with the Argus. A round stone as big as a baby's head, wrapped in a stout sack. with the neck twisted for a handie, has been found by the Sentinel's "devil," at Ypsilant, and regarding it, the editor ■says: "Who made the slung-shot, and for whom it was intended, is of course unknown." While the Argus has no infonnation on this subject, it is nevertheless aware that Capt. Allen is en■deavoring by every fair ineana to '"down" his congressional competitors. It also knovvs, that something suddeilly struck Hon. Joe T. Jacobs last week. Shed poker in Chelsea, received a íerious set-back recently. A select gang of youngsters were in the habit of pushing the game in a secluded shed. On entering their aecustotned haunt the other day, they were saiuted with a smell that would tickle the nose of a man with a polypus. When the hidden boquet "ealled," the boys they 'iaid down their hand" andfled, ■dead'" sure that a human body was concealed there. It turned out that some patent fertilizer had been stored there and the poker crowd would now teel honored by anyone who would kick them. The Argus is pleased to note that S:'. Ballard,poet and obituarist, of Willis, is recovering trom his latest misfortune. Mr.Bíillárd is a gentlemen whqse nstitution has endured great strain, id it is a wonder that he lives today. En addition to tax Iaid upon his emotioual endurance, in the production of rarelied poetry and mortality sketches, he has been hooked, by a buil. and smashed in the hip, by a ■.eckless 'cyclist who knocked him into a limp and paralytic ruin, from which he is slowly recovering. It.would seem iit neithêr the buil nor the brutal Vicycle rider appreciated Mr. Ballard's talent as they should, or the misfortunes cited would never have overtaken him. E. L. Champlain. familiarly known ■ as "old Cham," made an observation 'Tuesday. As about twenty delegates were göing to the depot, they stopped 0 drank of the cooling beverage from a well next to a saloon. Champ noticed the close proximity of the saloon, and said "proof that this is a republican convention; not one has gone ia there," pointing to the place where 'eool lager" is dispensed.- YpsilaHtian. Yes, the saloonist said, he had trusted that crowd as long as he proposed to on their promises to pay up hen the "home markef' briskened up things. It was a sad sight to see almost half a convention bïacklisted, d drinking water and spitting cotton, just outside the portal of "Pardlise lost." Washington Beemaii, aged 78 years, during tifty ol wliicb he was a resident of Wateiloo, died July 18. "One cantiot always judge a man by the clothes he wears," rernarks the Manchester Enterprise. No; take for ex ampie the Hottentot! The solid cares o( office, lately flopped Posttuaster Costello, of Üexter, oa 1 bis back ; but he managed to turn lúa ' assailant and was on top at date of last dispatch. It lias been so dry lately that the rish i caught at vv hitmore lake shake the dust off theaiselves when puilcd out i of the water. Sorue people will no doubt think this is not a He, but it is. While working a large drop press at the Chelsea stove works last week, a belt broke and a heavy stanip íell crushing the right hand of Peter Esterle, and causing the loss ot linee ringers. Scenic n'iisis ar at work painting curta i as aad wing3 for Arbeiter hali, Manchester, and the work is good euougb to warrant the painter exemption trom the character of leading man in a real tfaady. Aiic táking "a header" from the top of a cherry tree last week, Mrs. Lymai) Hadley rëmarked is she arose, thal oiher eagagements would prevent her trom gathering any more of the fruit this season. It is figured out at Ypsilauti that il the waterworks there furnish the rated Cfipácity of tn million gallons per dav, eacli ot the o;. e thousand consumera receives sixty barrels per day. fcioniebüdy inust be druak. Au experience social at St. John's church at Ypsilanti, Thursday eveuing, netted $100. Fr. Goldrick, of Northfleld.whose pleasing vocal talent adds to the request lor nis services, was present ana sang a number of his l'avorit'e selections. Dr. i!. S. 4-rnistrong of Chelsea, haviïtg lived to spltt a centur} in tw'o exactiy wliere a dude parts1 hair, was visited one day last week by 150 people who gave him a gold h.eaded cane alud askeu him how it feit to be half a hundred jears old. A botanical dispute has arisen between the Chelsea ileralü and the Ypsiianti Commercial, the Herald elaiiuing that the weed is a Russian thistle and the Commercial asserting that it ia merely wild lettuce. Stop it, gentlemen. Lettuce have peace. The editor ot' the Stockbridge Era, now walks vvith his chin high, shoulders thrown back aud a couridei.it heir about him; which stimulatea the Chelsea Standard to remark: "That haughty way he has of carrying himself will be changed ere long. We know how it is. ílave been there." The Ypsilanti Cüinrnercial sees nothing singular about a white red squirrel mention by the Argus as having been captured in Monroe county anu adds: "We once saw some green white black berries that werered." The attention of the "Law and Order League" is invited to this editorial confession. ■ John Laidlow, the Michigan Central garduer, at Ypsilauti, is ili aud couüued to his house. When the Argus savv iu the Commercial the scientitic üames of the flowers, owt of which tüe uoor gentleman must construct the lioral locomotive, it sighed and said, Che man could not choose but fall ill. Sjme boys were recently arresed at Dexter, aud one of them is reported to nave said, to the marshal: " You wout hear me sing again unless it is in chureh." The marshal, it lias just been discovered is a giited evangelist, and whv in Xophet ne hasn't iet hiinselt out on this line before, is what surprises his converts. The product of the creamenj' is below thac of last year. Chas. Sandíord is running it in accordance with the demanda and prices. The product now.is about l.sOü pounds per week. From every ton of cream they allow tor getting 90 pounds oí butter, thus 2U tuns ot ereani are handled weekly by the tvvo tearns.- Manchester Enterprise. A peregriuating ink merchant, without license, was rushed before the city cierk of Ypsi. last week, and sat upoñ atiy paper. When he had settled with the clerk, he aróse and departed, taking the iiy paper with hitn. He would have been arrested for larceny, but the authorities were unable to make a complete suit stick as ouly the pantaloous were iuvolved. George J. Lomas, of Webster, died last Fnday morning aged 73 years. Death was due to paralysis. Mr. Lomas' death was preceded seven weeks, by that of his wife. Thus the aged couple "rest from their labors," and in death scarcely were they divided. Mr. Lomas was born in Nottingham, England. Iii au early date he rau a locomotive on the Albany & Schenectady railroad, and helped build the flrst locomotive that ran on the Michigan Central. Daring the war he was engaged in building locomotiyes in Centralia, 111. He was much respected, and leaves a son und six daughters. It is said that a party of Ypsilantians, who reeently camped at Base lake, are missing. It appears that the mosquitoes there are of Xitanic size, and aswartn of them assailed the compauy, who fought bravely till much blood had beeti shed, when at the command of their leader, "To your tents, O Israel," they rted to their canvas fort. Horrors! Through this tent pierced the spears of the enemy, as a needie pierces sail cloth; and to save their lives, the party grasped the mosquitoes by their bilis, when they at otice arose and ilew away with the tent and its occupants. üur informant was an eye-wituess who wore a boiler-iion undershirt aad a steel heimet. At a recent hammock party in Ypsiauti, the prize went to a gent from New York. May be that is right! Perhaps he is, as the ladies voted him, the best entertainer in the crowd. If so, the Argus will slide off from its low tariff platform and go in for rigid protection to home industries. We, here in Michigan, may not be well up in the brilliaut conversationalisms of the East, but we do very well at such plain jobs as catching comets, negotiating Ohiuese treaties, teaching the occult sciences, handliug jurisprudence, and problernsof inter-state commerce, etc, and we are 'iightning" on raisiugcorn and depriving thrifty hogs of their vitals, in butchering time; but the progressive hammock industry neecis protection. i I About half of Ypsilanti's taxes still i remain out of the treasury. A trotting matinee for Saline is talked of, to take place in September. During a late thunder-storm, lightning rent a large oak that stood by the barn of John trates, of Saline, and also gave Gates a jar. The Manchester band will attend the Michigan-Ohio baud tournameut at Coldwater in August. This is no mere "blow," but business. A large straw stack near the barn of Ira Webster, of Saline, was burned by ' lightniug last week. The heavy rainfall alone saved the bain. A horse owned by John Merker, of Sylvan, has scored a vacation and a ' bad wound iu a fore foot. He was a barbed wire teuce inspector. The traitorous beast driven by Hiraui Fisk, ot Ypsilanti, kicked him in the leg last week; then ïan away and rouuded up the job by tumbling him oui and stpraining his wrist. John Cook says that the item in last weeK's Standard in reference to Lus haviug sold some property to Charles ' Davis is a base fabrication. - Chelsea Standard. "Another campaign üe nailed!'' Superior Grange band is mobilizing its energies for the fairs and the all campaign. Tüe tuba is accredited with surh'eieut euergy to crack a ash kettle, and all the baud is in good ! musical repute. Otto Dulaic, of Unadilla, feil from a scafíold in A C. Collins' barn recently j and broke several of his ribs loóse irom j tlie spiual column, which will ediy render him a cripple for lite. - ■ Chelsea Herald. ■ The Ypsilanti uorth side Cdngress street men crushed the south siders at ! base ball last Thursday, 20 to 7. Thus, ! twice within thirty-four years, has ! been aftirmatively settled the question, "Can the northerners fight?" ! It is said, - and the Argus is j ing every iierve to believe it,- that but for the rank umpiring of that lous man, Wilcox, of Plymouth, the j Atiautis would have won. last week. j As it was, the Atlantis were only 11 ; beliind. ïpsilanti has a new industry. Steain Í dyemg works have been established 5 there. To the uudertakers and tomb stone makers the name of the works was at tirst a delightful phonetic, but the "e:' in dyeing kuocked them out and they looked "grave." Au Ypsilantian whose sole offense ' was his inability to manage his owu digestión was ñned $1 and costs, last Friday. He had eateu some rye bread ' and drank a glass of lemouade, whicb, fernientiug, produced au alcoholic infraction of the law. They notice a little thing like that in Ypsilauti. J. M. Murphy, a hired man working I for ü. A. Vaughn, near Dexter, not feeling well, aiter unloading a load of wheat, went to the house and lay down, but soon aróse-, moved toward , toward the door and feil backward to J the floor, dying in half au hour. Sup posed to have been overeóme by heat. ( orge G. Nissly, owner ot the ceiebnaed Saline poultry iarm, tired of j ïa-.iig blooded chicKetis to fat his nei;;hbors' cats, went gunniug last weeit after losing about 1-50 young ! lowis, and is now prepared to furriish ! iiddle strings as long as the internal economy of some forty felines holds j out. He shot to kill. Frank L. Gaines and George A. Coeup, foreman and laborer, employed ' by Keepers & Wynkoop, walked from , Denton's to catch a tast Central train ] for Detroit. The engiueer, thinking i he recoguized the men who fired into i lus train recently,, had the men ! ed at Detroit. Now they ask $10,000 j damages, Whatever else may be said of Mayor ' Seymour, there is no doubt but he intends to be maj'or in deed as well as in name. - Ypsilanti Sentinel. 'Sright. Wade Hampton, when the republicans tried to count hiui out of the governorship iu 1877, said: "The people of the state of South Carolina have eiected me arovernor, and by all the gods I'll be governor!" And he was. The Dexter Leader did think that it would chop off a number of delinquent subscribers last week, sure, but bas allo wed them another week's grace, after which, failing to come to the uucleus, the editor says he will cut them off and publish an obituary of each. Well, they dou't deserve another week; still, in merey, give them a little sbow; for it is horrible to see a delinquent subscriber die and drop into- well, where roasting devils roar and yell, chained to a stake. Kev. Mr. Brown, pastor of the colored Baptist church of Ypsilanti, lias relinquished his job. At this season of the yeai' it requires a strong ministerial arm to keep the colored Ypsilantian from failing away from theology and devoting most of his talent to a structural analysis of the watermelon. Rev. Wm. Johnson, howevor, who is accredited with remarkable disciplinary ability, is said to be able to do that thing, and has assumed the pastorate. A meeting of the Ypsilanti Athletic Association was held last week and the fqllowiug cominittees were appointed to investígate the matter of cost and formúlate a general plan of association: Rev. Fr. Kennedy, chairman, E. H. Hinckley, W. L. Pack, F. Green and Charles M. Hemphill. The meeting adjourned subject to a cali. The mortality table of athletic associations shows the average lite to I be about one year. After that period the property of the concern is for sale "at your own price." When the local editors of the Ann Arbor papers get short of news, they stick in this item. "It is said that the bondholders and stockholders of the street railway have arrived at an understanding and that cara will soon be running on our streets.- Chelsea Standard. It is with this sort of ingratitude that the Standard editor repays the kindness he has received in this town. j When, a few weeks ago he was here i and monkeyed with a cloud buist till j he had'nt a dry rag ou him, he was j lowed to come in the Argus office and drip, was given a friction bath with the office towel and received various other Good Samaritan benefits. This is his 1 return! We cannot say that bis I duet has ruptured the relations of the I two towns; but it is a hard strain.