Washtenawisms

Prof. Felix Larnard may move his family from Detroit to Ypsilanti. Wm Brown, colorea, of Ypsiíanti, ' cuttedof unlawful paternity, was bound ' over by Justice Beach, last week. Únele Tom's Cabin jumped Dexter , and Dexter sat down and wailed: "This world is all a fleeting show." Rev. and Mis. Ebbling, who have for a year resided at Union City, have returned to Ypsilanti tor a permanent residence. Isaac S Kimball, an old resident oL Ypsilanti, died Friday night of dropsy of the heart, aged 81 years. lie liad been more than sixty years a resident o: the ci.y. Howard J. Nichols, a Saline jeweler, is in temporary possession of a diamond íiecklace of Mrs. Tom Thutnb. whioh was put np at a pawu shop and never redeemed. The Saline mük wagon wliich recently weut into retireinent, has reappeared shining wíth paint and varnish, its owner singing nierrily, ''Yes, we'll galher at the river."' A rubbish flre in Dexter in the yard of üQstellq's store last week had wrapped itself' around a barrel of oil vvhicn was blazing merrily when discovered and squelched. St. Mary's church, Manchester, began its journey toward its new site, last week, with Fr. Ternes singing: "Yet nightly pitch our moving tent a day's march nearer home." John Bross, of Dexter, is at work upon a beautiful canoe of butternut lumber. "Sing, 'row the boat lightly, o'er the waters so blue.' Like a feather he'll float in his but'nut canoe." The ladies' society of Freedom have purchased an organ for Bethel church and the grand strains of the Doxology now well up trom its depths in f uil diapasón and all who hear it rejoice and are glad. J. H. Whitney, late superintendent of the Peninsular paper milis, Ypsilanti, being about to remove to Kalamazoo after 24 years, was last week presented with an easy chair by his old associates. An editorial paragraph in the last nuniber of the Ypsilautian leads this journal to fear that the Ypsilanti editor in wandeling about in the ashes of the late republican conflagration at the county seat, got a coal of üre in his suje. The Sharonites who camped at Wolf lake last week, held their annual meeting Friday evening, Aug. 17, and reelected Wm. R. Mount, president; Mrs. Leeson, Secretary; Mrs. E. Smith, assistant secretary; and Mr. Burch, treasurer.- Sharon Cor. Enterprise. Milo 8. Gage and Julián Watson, of Ypsilanti. were discussing the n'nancial depression and its cause and cure the other day. Afterward Gage missed $15 and had Watson arrested for larceny. The latter was searched but only $2.50 was fouad on his person. A Clinton man who drove to Manchester the other evening and had the eardihood to take a drink or two - or three - or so - of beer, right there in Manchester was fïned $9.40. Manchester will never allow the evil communicators of Clinton to corrupt lier good manuei'3. The four-year-old son of Mrs. John Donahue, of Noryell, the other day went out íor a social time by himself and was not found till a neighborhood search revealed him at the back end the farm, studying the inerits of a inonkey-wrench as an engine of destruction to grasshoppeis. Capt. Travis, of No. 1 hose, Ypsilanti, was not within responding distance the other day when au alarm was turned in, and was discharged by the Chief. The tire committee told Capt. Travis tokeepright on aad there is an ensanguined discoloration of the lunar orb in that locality. The Stockbridge Era, published just over the Washtenaw line, after a hazardous txistence of eight months has "gone with ttie angels of light." It was not anxious to go, for it loved life and would have fia grown up to a career of usefuiness, but it had to cut its teeth and it wasu't stronji enougli. Two fat citizeii3 of Saline engaged in a sidewalk wrestling match last week and the whole town stood and haw-hawed. Owing to their abdominal rotuudity they were unable to get near each other to do the "trip" act and with each attempt, down squashed the tripper on the w-alk, by the sheer force of a lost balance. Fire, last Wednesday evening played fast and loose on the farm of Jacob Reidel, of Bridge water, getting away with material for about 70,000 pickets and 200 cords of wood. Mr. Reidel had no use whatever for this fire, and it is not known how it origiuated, but it is thought to have been one of those conflagrations which start themselves. B. Elbrings and family moved from Manchester to Nebraska and struck such hard luck that they have not a dollar, and Manchester people are contributing the means to transport them back. This is in Mr. Elbrings' favor. PeoDle f requentlv contribute the port to get others away and are ! "transuorted" with delight when they are gone; but he must be a very good ! mau whorn they will assist to return. Frank Worden, of Gregory, is one of the shylocks who aided in bringing i about the money panic by retiriHg silver from circulation. Six years ago he swallowed a fifty cent piece. He has the cash yet, but it "sits" hard on his stomach and at night gives him so niuch trouble that he of ten rises and walks the floor. This circumstance has a moral which is this: Don't swallow every silver theory that comes along. 1 ou may not be able to give it up, when you know it to be wrong. Remarka the Commercial: "Some ; people who have never been camping think it is no f uu to go, but we notice that those who have been once always want to go again." Just so. Same j way with a circus or picnic. A mau I will go to a farmers' picnic or sweat two hours on a hard bare seat under a circus tent, watching the pot-shaped clown butt his stomach against the center-pole and go home vowing that any person who ever catches him going again may hang hiui for a fooi. But the next season you will see him and his family start out of the farm gate early in the rnoruing, bound for j the picnic or the circus, and if he ilidn't have the ready money he has j raised it on chattel mortgage. The people of Manchester are hungry tor a brickyard. Rev. T. G. Potter has decided to give up pastonal work and when ! t'erenco convenes next month they will move to Ann Arbor.- Saline Observer. It is conceded by the Ypsilanti newspapers that Evangelist Wills benefited Ypsilanti. . This puts Mr. Wills to the front as the most powerful evangelist of the age. North Adams and Manchester are likeiy to play a game of ball for a purse of $25. The Manchesters have been taking scalps very rnerrily of late. They will doubtless wiu the $25 bill. Baited by bis large-hearted generosity and the excellence of his sample goods, thieves the other night smaslied into the shop of Samuel Barnard and ate up a large churniug of ice-cream. Small-pox and politics took the attention of Ypsilanti nearly all mer. The result direct, is the harvesting of a bountiful erop of weeds in the city. Tares sowed by Oid Nick: After a lively race between the deIivery horse aud wagon of Orttenburger & Co., of Manchester, the horse came out ahead. The wagou was sunstruck and in various ways constitutionally ruined. Postmaster Vogel, of Pleasant Lake, last Saturday brought joy and a big basket of yeüow cheeked apples into this office. May his days as postmaster be long in the land and his orchard free from curculio, blight, trost and thieves. Miss Martha Moesner, of Freedom, ascended a peaked pear tree to piek the pretty peaked pears from the pretty peaked pear tree, when she caught a fall and a broken arm. Lt seems as though ''fall" is rather crowding the season. Howard Bartlett, of Saline, is about to go to New York, to receive a course of instiuction in missionary work, purposing after whieh to enter the field. If he has not already decided what part of the heathen world he will visit, the Argus would suggest Toledo. To play loose with a man's melon pateh while he is absent In camp. risking his life in a sham battle to save the country, is aimost as mean and contemptible as to run away with his wife. That is just what three fellows did in the case of Almon Robison, of Ypsilanti. That is. they stole his meions. The editor of the Commercial in acknowledging the reeeipt of a box of plums trom Judge Babbitt, pronounces him "a learueu judge," and adds: 'We have traveled from Church's Harbor to the Neebish and seen no more luscious fruit." Let's see - what year did the editor take that tramp? Twice the Cavanaugh Lake ball team descended unon Chelsea with proud crests glistening in the sun, and twice have they gone home with hearts bowed down and tail feathers dragging in the sand. Chelsea now feels that she can whip the world. but undoubtediy this idea is extravagant. Norvell, which stands in the shadow of the county line when the sun is in the 6nst, witnessed a recent game of ball between the ïackabones aud lardbellies oL the village, the latter winning by oue tally. It is thought the puil-stomachs would have won had not the heaviest man during a ruu óusted a ''gallus,"' which threw him off his base. In the athletic sports attendaut on the Odd Fellows' celebration at Ypsilanti', last week. the following feats are recorded by the Times: There was sonie good jumping done, Frank Johnson, of this city, being credited on the running hop, step aud jump with 43 ft. 7 in. against Taylor's 42 ft. 2 in. In the running broad jump George Crosby cleared 19 tt. 6 in. and Frank Johnson 19 tt. 5 in. The old Union hall at Manchester has drsappeared. Owing to the faet that it had uo corner stone, in which was concealed the kodak photos of the aboriginal cotnmou councii, a eopy of the village charter, a bottle of whiskey and souie of the coius of the reaitn, tbe plunder obtained w.ih small. The dtstruction of the ouiidins' has turned npou au uncharitable world a colony of houseless rats. The business men of Manchester have rejected the overture of an enterprising snake ballonist to risk his fooi life in a purely philanthropic effort to increase the business of the town for one day. The business men remarked that the deaths of ballonists were so common that aácensions ceased to draw crowds, even when the aeronaut gave a writteti guarantee to fall half a mile and break his worthless neck. No ascensión at Manchester. We would say that the note referred to in our New York correspondent's article relative to the Russian thistle in Ann Arbor, probably refers to a peculiar class of politicians vvhich abound in that bailiwick, noted for making things uncomfortable, but abortive in desirable results. - "ïpsilantian. Yes, the republican politicians here have acted very badly - very like Russiaü. absolutists. The only remedy is the election of the democratie ticket. The absolutists must be "downed" if it sacrifices e very republican in the county. Fred Johnson, the driver of Wilkie Knox. predicts that the horse will go in 2:08 before the season cl5ses. 1 ing to the fact that Mr. Johnson is in business here and cannot get away, it is probable that Knox will be looked after by some other driver. R. G. Barnes, the owner of Wilkie Knox, has returned from Lansing and is more than satisfied with the showing his horse made. In tbe flrst two heats he was well up on the wheels of the winner and timers made his miles in 2:1H and 2:11.- Ypsilanti Times Locals. William Dansingburg, of Augusta, after much careful closet meditation, has decided to cali upon his friends to urge him to stand as a candidato for county clerk on the republican ticket. Mr. Dansingburg wishes to test his powers of resistance to temptation and tothat end will ask his neighbors and those who admire his political career to press him very hard to consent. If he successfully resists, his self-denial will constitute a crown of glory. If he cannot keep his feet against the current he will simply be swept ino the nomination by the voice of the people, which it is said is the voice of the deity, which he has no right to resist. Owing to the drouth, beans and potatoes on the Ypsilanti Plains are almost a failure. Dexter expects to get the next Germau Day celebration, if the earth there does not crack open before that time. Fred A. JefEers and Cora Doolittle, two of tiie Nurinal Alumni, have fornjed a matrimonial society with a litnited membership. The Prohibitionists will flash their county eandidates on the race course Sept. 4th. Convention in Ann Arbor on that day, "wet or dry." E. A. Nordman and that god-father of populism, G. A. Peters, addressed a mass meeting at Dexter, last week. üratory still hangs over the place likè a fog. Along the Lake Shore road in this state, on the main line and the Ypsilanti branch, we saw yesterday many ! rields of corn cut up f or fortder, out the región here seems in better condition than that. - Ypsilanti Commercial. The Standard urges upon the citizeus of Chel3ea the coustruction of water works, not only tor rire protection but for the heautiiying of the village with the green lawns the works would make possible. If Chelsea can afforü tiie expei.se the works shoukt be built. An exehange makes the statement that if men are the salt of the earth women are undoubtedly the sugur.- Chelsea Herald. Well, perhaps not the sugar, but many of them are the lasses. Now, brethren, don't pirate this pun. It was e vol ved afterseveral hours of severe mental labor. Fred Paul, of Saline, whose scalp was torn off and skull cracked in a live threshing machine, and who sat up and chatted pleasantly with the surgeon on scientiüc and metaphysical problems while the doe was poking his brains around into their proper place and sewing up his head, is progressing ünely and bids fair to be preserved to a remóte posterity. The Ubserver remarks concerning him: "Last Friday Dr. Nichols covered the opening on the back of his head with flesh and skin taken f rom other parts of the body. This is as was once said, like robbing Peter to pay Paul. íome anxiety is beginning to be feit at Ypsilauti for the safetv of Minister Sill, as nothing direct has been heard from him of late. There need be no anxiety. All the factors to the Corean rovv know better than to attempt any funny business with the United States. "VVere Seoul in a state of seige that would hinder ïiecessary di-patches from being sent to our goverument. Prof. Sill probably has nothing oL importance to communicate; though it might relieve the strain it' he would just send a letter saying "I am well and hope these few lines will find you enjoying the same blessing. "