Washtenawisms

Alfred E. Phelps, of Dexter, was a ghort-boru juilge at the state fair. Sam Ileselschwerdt. while threshing jrTsharon last week, had a pair of fingers nibbled off by a hungry cylinder. ïbe Detroit Athletics hadiyt tbe "spunk" to meet tbe Atlantis last Week and tbe game was given the latter, 9 to zero. The Ligbt Guard of Ypsilanti want to lócate a ritte range at the rear of the waterworks, to extend out upon tbe Hog's Back. 'Snout right and the mayor shouldn't allow it. It wouldn't be according to 'iaw and order." Two boys stole watermelons near Cbelsea, last week. A constable Pypered unto them and a justice made tbem dance to the tune of $5 and costs, aDd one of them not having sold his meions, had no money and was sent to the Lansing Keform School. One day last week, Fra-nk, son of Simon Hirth, had the misfortune to run a tine of a piteh fork tlirough his leg, making a bad wound. He is gettinc along nicely now, though for a time it was thought that lock jaw wonld set in- Chelsea Standard. At a recent gathering at the home of Miss Nellie Hall, of Chelsea, for the sole and eye-single purpose of eating pumpkin pie, (and criticise the new fall bonnets), the dining room and table were decorated in the colors of tbe clothes-line pie. The decorator was "some pumpüins. James Labadie. champion checker player of British North America, the United States and Milan, Monroe county, was in Chelsea last week playing everything that sat again st hiin. The Standard said of hini: '"lip to Wednesday night a total of forty-one games had been played. of which Labadie won twenty-seven, lost loar, drawn, ten." Prof. B. L. Murray, chemist of the New York Experimental Farm, re' turned Monday and will pursue postgraduate work at the U. of M. The Argus man will take notice.- Ypsilantian. The Argus man will treat Trof. Murray 's return with exalted indifference, unless he produces in his sight, a quart of those gooseberries of bis own manufacture. The Ypsilantian is undergoing an acute attack of scrooternooticks, on account of the manner in which the county nominations were distributed. Evidently the democracy blundered in omitting to be guided by the wise and unimpeachable counsel of the Ypsilantian. The Ypsilantian opposes the income tax. Don't blame Osband a bit. One of the most humilliating things we country editors have to endure as the result of a venal democratie government is the income tax, which makes us all stand up and swear by the Holy Smoke that our net incomes are not over $4,000 apiece. Snoutrage! An alderman, on a wheel, and a dray also on wheels. struggled for the championship of Ypsilanti last week. It was d uring this performance that the city at the other end of the link Qrst learned that its suple city ordinance maker could turn a doublé somersanlt and take a chew of tobáceo from his hip pocket, while in the ambient atmosphere. The dray escaped unhurt. A. F. Graves, of Ypsilanti, awoke the other night under the supposition that the sky had split open, the judgment set and himself was about to be herded with the goats. While ransacking tb e bureau drawer for the record of his good deeds, intending to plead the general issue and give notice of a set off, he carne to himself and found that lightning had torn a tree to pieces near the house. Twenty Milan Odd Fellows last week marched to Dexter to the sound of the suckbut and hewgag, and filled with confidence, enthusiasm and other nox-intoxicating solids, proceeded to play ball with the Dexter brethren, whose dexterity did them up. And the Milanese spake one unto another, saying: ''This is odd, fellows!" The set-to, ho wever, increased rather tlian breached the brotherly feeling of the two lodges. T. S. James was one of the contest ants in the ten mile road race of the Wolverine Cyclers' Club of Ann Arbor last Thursday, and his share of the plunder consists of a leatlier rnedal which can be seen in the show window ol the Cash Shoe Store.- Dexter Leader. There may be a little vanity in this; but ah! how few of us are proof against the inflrmity of sel f gloiïdcation. We love to let the world know that we are on top. Our friend John J. liobison of Sharon, is so modest that he does not wish us to mention that he left a peck oí splendid yellow plums at our residence, and for which we are very thankful- Manchester Enterprise. If the heart of John J. Robison is bursting with yellow plums he can leav e a peck or two at this office, and not a blessed word will be said about, it. The Argus wili never betray the coniidence of a friend, as long as there is a single plum left. Sylvan township was bestrewed by a furioas windstorm last week, which flattened fences tipped over windmills and brought a number of sinful republicans down on their rusty knee liinges with premises to vote the democratie ticket, if let off alive this time. It remains now to be seen whether they will keep their promises or sell the Lord out at the polls in November. In any event the democracy will win. , The Ypsilanti marshal had the johredest time the other day. A fellow was around on the streets canvassing for a book, of frowy moráis. Ilim the marshal sought and found, but after he had done so the strangerpioved bevond question that he was another man altogether. The marshal went out and looked again, and was again fortúnate in securing the vile literature man. He took him to the cityclerk, where he demonstrated that hè was a incinnati agent for a wholesale liquor house, and threatened to lick the marshal in the flrst place and have him arrested in the second and third places. ■Ihe dauntless officer said he would go oat again as at other times, and look lor the culporter of lascivious literatore. This time he struck the right man, who regrettad that he conldn't visit awhile with him. as he would like wget acquainted; but his train was wout to move and really he couldn't Jou know; and he didn't. The Chelsea fair falla due on the 9th jot üctober. Visible lili the eveniug ofthel2th. MrsJlary A. Pearson, of Ypsilanti, died Wednesday evening last week, aged 60 years. Rev. J. R. Masterson has been assigned to the pastorate of the Ypsilanti A. M. E. church. The people of Chelsea are delighted with another row of telegraph poles along Main street, planted there by the Postal Telegraph company. Chelsea is beginning to look like a navy yard. The Normal football team has gone into commission. The Normal News is abnormally late owing to delay of adverüsers. It will -'come out" Sept. 29th. Hul) & Nissly are in the fruit evaporating business at Saline. Ancil Morgan, of Saline, has dug and marketed over 1,000 bushels of green cucumbers this season, and the dry weather stinted the erop, also. -Lightning burned a straw stack in the bain yard of J. H. Barr, of Saline, last week. The rain storm, the riie department, many citizens and 1000 small boys saved the barn. When lightning struck George Lyman, of pexter, last week, it first "pasted him one in the eye, bad luck to him," and then singed a streak down auross his face, neck and chest. Hereafter he will wear a lightning rod. Dr. Eb. Conklin went to Oassopolis, Monday night, to again assist in the search for his brother. He returned Wednesday morning with the information that the mystery in regard to his brother's disapüearánce is yet unsolved. - Manchester Enterprise. Miss May E. Westfall, of Grand Rapids, daughter of Mrs. Katner, of Bridgewater, reeently, while deranged, swallowed a fatal dose of carbolie acid. She had spent some months in the Kalamazoo insane asylum, and had recently labored under the fear that she would be placed there again. The Normal opened this year with an attendance much larger than that of the opening day of the previous year. Dr. Boone is under indictment for having brought about a still higher standing of the institution, not only in Michigan, but in other states. There is no fungus on the doctor's back, A three year oíd colt, owned by Jas. Hipp, of Dexter, was recently struck by lightning and killed. That is, it is alleged to have been so struck, but it's no sure thing that a meteor didii't drop into him. Meteors do fall into horses around Ypsilanti, the Times says. Mrs. W. B. Tqmlinson-White, oneof the wives of biganiist White, was in Ypsilanti last week, endeavoring to trail White to his den. But the track was cold and Mrs. White was unable to discover his lnrking place. My ! but she would have madedog-dayswéather for him! The Methodist minister of Waterloo being absent at conference, his fiock put in a couple of days cleaning up the church, and made it so slick and shiny that a fly that alighted on the side of the pulpit, slipped up and broke lts neck. C. A. Kendrick, a Detroit milliner at Ypsilantiy, feit a bee in his bonnet last week when Prof. George attached the stock for rent. He was about to ship it to Detroit, but, by George, the trick was frustrated, "as slick as a ribbon." Prof. Pease arrived home f rom the north last week. His hair, eyebrows and mustache are extremely short and have a singed smell. You see his train ran through a blazing tract of country and it would have taken four men to hold his whiskers on. But he is all right. The wild ass of Wyoming passed through Ypsilanti the other day, bound for Detroit and the State fair. He was as unshorn as a populist senator, and one could discover whetstones in his hair. He is writing a book, and relies on the atrocity of his appearance to give it a sale. Are you a member of the Young Women's Christian association ?- Ypsilantian. We are not. We have often feit a yearning to join, but owing to circumstances not within our control we are inelligible. Tliat it is through no fault of ours is our onlyconsolation. The training school of the Normal gathers an increase of 40 over the spring attendance of last year. The grades are well filled and a full complement of intellectual and whaling apparatus is reported by Prof. George. Dr. King, of Ypsilanti, on the allegation of Mrs. Wise that he had slandered her, was before Justice Beach, last week. The slander proved to be one of the cheap kind, estimated by the squire at the value of $9.G0, which the medicine man discovered in his pocket book, and cali it '"Dr. King's New Discovery." F. F. Skidmore, formerly of Grass Lake, is cashier of the bank at Tescott, Kan., which was robbed of $1.000 recently by four masked men. We bet when those burglars put in their appearance Mr. Skidmore wished he was back on the shore of Grass Lake's (rog pond, where burglars wouldn't think of stopping.- Ugly jab by the Chelsea Herald. Justice Childs, of Ypsilanti, was in the city today. He said: "I kuow about 10 of the prominent democrats of Ypsilauti who will cut the county ticket this fall on account of the dissatisfaction at what occurred at the convention, everything going to Ann Arbor. - Times, Friday. If Justice Childs were no better informed on other subjects fcban he apüears to be on county politics, he would neeil a guide-board on him to go to bed. The squire is not so leather headed is he pretends. J. D. Forscytlie has a hill of corn on exhibit at E. B. Ford's store, well eared and ten feet liigh, grown in 90 days. - Mooreville Cor. of Saline Observer. That's nothing. Old man Tasseltop, of Ann Arbor town, raised this year, a íield of corn so tall that his dog treed a coon uf a stalk. The old gent reached the lower leaves with a step ladder, and climbing to the top, shook the coon down, but lost his own hold and would have been killed had he not struck astride an ear of corn after falling about f orty feet, and thus saved himself. Now we expect snrae carper to rise up and c'eclare that this is not a lie; but it is. The Manchester Enterprise had grown to be -11 years old last week. It is still the good southeust journalistic ! leg of the county. Woodchuck scHlps and'crow heads will be paid tor by the Webster townI ship clerk, on the last two Satuidays I of this month . Politicians' scaips will not be received till November. An Argus "Washtenawism"' recently started a flre in the wrong school building. Substitute Milan for Saline and the rest pretty nearly describes what happened. During a recent social at Saline, the j hoodlum element took a hand in, a:id having covered the front stoop with hay rakes, grain drills. forks, shovels, etc, plastered the stoop floor and front of the house with mud. Still, God Iets such things live, probably for some wise but unseen purpose.