Roundabouts

N. D. Curtiss, of Dundee, is building a large creamery at Milan. The Democrat figures the attendance on Thursday of the Hillsdale county fair at 35,000 to 37,000. In order to mark the difference between time and eternity, a thief at Dundee, Friday night last week, entered the window of Rev. Mr. Balmor and stole his gold watch. A letter artist decorated many of the windows of Milan last week. The information, furnished by the Leader, fails to state how many times the artist could get drunk the same day. The drain in the western part of "Wayne township, recently corapleted, has a cut of from 5 to 9 feet, yet not a mastodon bone, stone knite, or other relie was found to attest the existence of prehistorie Üfe in that locality. John F. Critchett, nominated by the Monroe county republicans for prosecuting attorney, slides off the ticket, and the county committee will fill the vacancy. It seems as ihough our republican friends are losing a large amount of the sawdust that was in their legs at the goin of the campaign. 'Smatter, gentlemen ? It may not be generally credited, but it is a fact that the Pinckney ball club won a game last week. The disgrace falls upon the Pettysville team. Adam Andrews, of Tyrone, Li ingston county, has thus far thi season sold' over $1,100 worth o peaches. This information wi fetch a groan out of the pinch-facec peach prophet. Ex-Treasurer George Coleman, o Livingston county, lies in a critica condition from an injury of the bac caused by a fall from his wagon He was found lying in the roac helpless. At the Livingston county Y. P. S C. E. convention recently, th Pinckney organization took th banner for the largest attendance Every member was present. Thi is suspected to have been due to Ec Carpenter, who located at Pinckney and took along with him a lot o goodness from Howell. Fred Palmeritr, of West Handy let go a correctory blow at a cow, with his fist. Bossy fenced with her horns, and Palmerter is carrying arounda set of broken knuckles. The Fowlerville Observer, having advised the marshal to enforce the ordinance against fast driving, has investigated and finds that the village has no such ordinance, and now admonishes the council to adopt an ordinance with a curb-bit and martingales. The Observer is "eminently correct." Presbyterian statistics show that during the past year Tecumseh occupied the 2}d place in the United States as to the number of members received, and first place in the perceatage of gain on previous metnbership. This was " predestinated " from the beginning to be so, and i a proud showing for the church a Tecumseh. The Novi correspondent of th Northville Record says: Sornebod kindly commenced a while ago t dig Orville Wait's potatoes orí share - took the potatoes and left th holes. Must have been some hole souled individual. He'll probabl die of tuber culosis. - Adrián Press And the epitaph on his tombston shall be, "Otium cum dig pertaters.' Deputy Staninger, of Lenawee cburteously preceded his prisone out of the car at North Morenci, th other night, when the man carelessl extended his right arm, the extrem end of which caught Dan under th ear. The deputy rolled to th platform on one side of the car anc the prisoner hopped off on the other He has not been seen in Lenawe since, but Dan can be found and i easily recognized by the swellec spot under his ear. The management of the Bedforc Monroe county, fair association wa strictly horizontal in its integrity and even collected an admission o a life member, who was entitled t go in and out at pleasure, free Gen. Spalding was billed for speech, yet when he went throug the gate they " jumped his collar and collected the "quarter," anc the general was heard to mutte under his breath, " it ! the tariff is a tax, and the furriner doesn' pay it." It was reported at Sturgis, on day last week that a man had falle from the cars and been killed and everyone talked cheerfully of the event till he showed up extremely alive and but slightly bruised. This disgusted the crowd which was almost mad enough at him to mob him. Certainly the man's conduct was reprehensible. The Sturgis Democrat announce that Mr. Buckley will speak nex Sunday morning on "Heil - what is it not ?" Well, it is not democratie for one thing. It has a republican majority over all. Republicans have along contended for a strong government, and there is where they get it. The Milan Leader rises up anc ;ives thanks in italic tones for an unconditional complimentary ticket to the Chelsea fair. Peter J. Messerle, of Monroe, ïad a mess of ripe strawberries of lis own growing, picked fresh last week. Some things can be done as well as others. Prof. Steere, having been nomnated for state senator on the proiibitionticket,the Adrián Press be;ins to see why he was side tracked y the republican regents. It is not that. The professor frightened he regents almost to death one day by turning loose on them two fierce pecimens of acris gryllus. Jpseph Gauntlett was a poor boy, )orn barefooted and without a ooth. This took place 52 years ago. He easily mastered cholera nfantum, measles, woooping cough nd first love Destiny had marked ïim for the future postmaster of Vlilan. In honor of his 52nd birthay, Friday of last week, a large nd devoted constituency presented lita with a "dark carved oaken hair." Some are bom great, othrs achieve greatness and others ïave it emptied on 'em. Shakepeare. C. Breset, of Monroe, was struck on the shoulder by a defective sidewalk and appraises the damage done to his claviüJe at gi,ooo. The couticil wilt look him over and decide. In Ida and Bedford townships in Monroe county, Wednesday night of last week, fifteen hencoops were depopulated. Therc, gentlemen, was system. A $3,000 addition is being built to the Hillsdale high school building. While the city's undertaking means improvements, the county, jealous of its "seat," steadily votes down all proposals to erect a new court house and justice still looks down upon the slim y stone pile where court is held, and weeps. This monumental disgrace to an otherwise progressive county, tradition recites, was built by the Druids and utilized by them in the offering of human sacrifices. The Pinckney Dispatch gives its readers to understand that it "would like a little of that bean money" which some of its subscribers appear to be flush with. The Dispatch should not ask too much. Think they are going to pay the editor and have nothing to bet on election ? Be reasonable. The Dispatch announces that "Pinckney needs some more hitching posts to accommodate the many patrons who are constantly coming to our hustling village to trade." Let the "hustling village" also put in a few extra posts to accommodate the patrons' teams. A cabbage measuring 45 inches around, and weighing 19 pounds, has this season been raised by the main strength of John Mortonson, of Pinckney. Big enough to adorn the shoulders of the calamity-howling erop prophet. The Britton Journal believes the recent game of bali between the Adrián "Giants" and Y. M. C. A., which drew thousands, was a "snide", and characterizes it as "a conglomeration of ball play, leapfrog and long sprinting." Would the Y. M. C. A. play into the hands of Satan like that? At a recent meeting of the Wayne council, it was moved that a certain bilí be allowed, when a member suddenly jumped to his feet, slapped his pantaloons and yelled, " - nation!" The president declared him out of order, and said he was surpri-ed at this intemperate outburst, and was about to proceed with a further rebuke, when he, too, let go some words "not lawful for man to utter," at the same time fishing a big black hornet out of his shirt collar. A hornet's nest was then discovered and the council went into executive session, till the pests were destroyed. There was fun in Jonesville the other day when a couple of men in a crazy buggy, drawn by a "razorbacked" horse,aattempted to beat a bicycler. Off flew a buggy tire and down squashed the carriage like a republican argument for protection. A vicious horse last week kicked Riley Ely, of Branch, in the side, inflicting a nearly fatal blow. He got there, Ely. Joe Thompson, a prisoner, was last week very ill in the Brancn county jail. A doctor, an undertaker and an editor called. In all this Joe saw mortality and obituary notices, and became so distressed that they all departed, lest he die before his time. Soon afterward Joe was seen skipping across the fields like a man who had an engagement. The cell door had been left unlocked, and Joe, seeing his opportunity, murmured: "There is a time in the affairs of men, which, taken at the tide, leads out of jail." He is still at large. The Milan Leader takes notice of an egg, laid by a hen for herfriend, Mrs. Friend, and measuring 64 by 8 inches. The Argus does not desire to encourage this strain on the len whose vanity prompts her to get her name in the paper. It will notice no egg measuring short ot :our feet in circumference and weighing less than a quarter of a ton. The Standard and News do nothng except whoop it up concerning the "Chelsea fair." Well, of course, we admit that the girls there are confoundedly pretty, butthere's no need of getting out of breath, ragging about it. People of Detroit will not soon orget or forgive the disgusting conduct of one Dan Sullivan, who was ulied in Chicago and shipped home or funeral and burial. After the minister had preached a rosy sermon, in which the soul of Dan was wafted by angels to paradise, and he march to and from the cerneery had taken place, in walked )an himself and the family nearly ell dead at the sight of him. His riends remonstrated with him on tie impropriety of his conduct, and ssured him that he was dead and lat in all decency he ought to go ack to the grave yard and get into is hole; that the course he was puruing would prove a blot on his escutcheon and scandali.e the family. Kut Dan was obdurate and denied his death. He said he had just got out of the house of correction, and that all the moisture and fuss for him was shed over the wrong Dan Sullivan. Meanwhile the other Sullivan, neatly tucked away in the Detroit Dan's couch in the cemetery, as saug as a bug in a rug, isn't saying a blessed word.