Roundabouts

The Lenawee county fair netted $l,OOO. Pinckney's plunge into barbarianism was so deep that she is still rumbling around on roller skates. The Clinton health board met the other night and served official notice on the small-pox to stay out of town. A thief recently stole a hog frora the pen of Chris Landon, of Livonia, and the hog never squealed on a change of masters. Talk about democratie hard times, when eleven and thirteen pound children are bom every day in the región round about here! Lulu, Monroe county, has a "Jack the Peeper" who flattens his nose against the windows and vanishes when he has secured a shriek from the inside. The Evening Star again blinks above the newspaper horizon of Jackson, Mryon W. Tarbox, its former publisher, having determined to let it shine once more. A young lady in a divided bicycle skirt shocked the proprieties of Grass Lake recently, by whirling through the town, never stopping to say a word about politics. The new Stimpson computing scale will be manufactured at Tecumseh; but probably this fact will have no "weight" with the calamity howler. He is built on another scale entirely. C. M. Cone, a veteran both of the war and of the "art preservative," is now doing work on the local columns of the Adrián Press. Mr. Cone knows how to drive a sharp point in a newspaper. Twenty-five years ago today the snow was a foot deep in Branch county and the apples hung frozen on the trees. Contrast the beautiful weather now and be thankful. - Coldwater Republican, Oct. 27! Ex-Governor Luce is reported as pleased with the republican outlook. Well, the ex-governor is not a very good judge of a machine. He allowed a mowing machine to haggle his fingers a year ago last hayin'. Floyd Peebles, of Worden, Livingston county, gor his revolver to scare some chickens. Immediately af ter the revolver was heard f rom, Peebles found that he had a ball in the leg. The chickens were scared. Some repn!)hcan speaker talked an arm off a Howell man, last week At least the Herald says: "W. H S. Wood is carrying his right hanc wrapped up these days, from the effect of being crushed by a wind mili." During a recent rain storm, winc rolled up the tin roof of W. F Hettig's store in Dundee and drop ped it off on the ground. Low prices move goods but not so quickly as they were moved in this case to avoid the flood. The Northville Record circulates the report that the office towel in the Fowlerville Observer office swung around and pied a two-galley article in the form "and then just because the editor said 'gee whiz' a few times they threatened to church him." The state of affairs at Wayne is thus described by the Review: "The painful absence of the marshal upon the streets makes it imperative for us to say that drunkenness and crime go hand in hand unvvhipped of the law every day, Sunday not excepted." The Northville Record speaks up with pride and says "there is not a better posted or more skilled undertaker in the state than Mr. Parker." And the Argus will furlher add, that no man whose business he ever did, has spoken a word against him since. The athletic association of Adrián college has expended Si,ooo in fitting its grounds for the soothing game of football. President Thomas is an inspiiing spirit in football Even in dog days no flies have ever been able to make a landing on him. While the Episcopal minister at Clinton was reading his first lesson, Sunday evening of last week, out went the electric glims. A lamp was procured, but notbefore a very distinct smack that sounded like an osculatory proceeding, was heard in a mixed part of the audience. The Wayne Review quotes Garfield as saying: "The most valued gift which can be bestowed upon mankind is something to do." Yes, but one can have too much work, and we quote the boy who said he didn't mind "workin," "if it wasn't for workin' between meals." One night during the past week some sneak thief invaded the chicken coop of L. D. Bingham and "swiped" the roost. These invasions are becoming quite frequent hereabouts, and a first-class newspaper item is ïncubating if the business continúes, for several shot guns are loaded in readiness and a watch being kept in various localities. - Dundee Reporter. In Medina, Lenaweecounty, those who have friends buried in the cemetery there are asked tt give as many pennies on each birthday as they are years old, toward keeping the lot in repair. That may do in Lenawee but it would bankrupt sorne of Washtenaw's old and well-off settlers. The newly married couple, who left Batavia Wednesday night, had many thorns among the roses. A large nuraber of bilis were printed, bearing these words, "Newly married couple; please make it interesting for them," and scattered through the train which they boarded. - Coldwater Republican. Jackson, which has long lain dormant on the subject of securing the Mackinaw extensión, has kíckec herself into life and held a meeting and appointed a committee to star the subscription ball rolling. The Patriot believes the extensión is sure to come. VVhat! in these "demo cratic hard times?" Willis Post, of Dover, proceedec to Rollin last week with a marriage license, that authorized the cere mony making Miss Nora Sloan o Rolhn, Mrs. Willis Post. The Wilson bilí seems to have nodepressing effect on the matrimonial industry, and cupid continúes in business with no reduction of forces or wages. - Adrián Press. A four year old Ogden boy recently started from his father's corn ïeld with "a mouse for kittie," and at 10 o'clock at night was taken up as a "stray" ten miles from home, and next morning returned to his distracted parents. All the neighjorhood had turned out to search :or him, and this knocked a g. o. p. meeting silly, that was to have been addressed by Capt. Allen. It is hought the little kid had been )ribed by democrats to cut up the riek he did, to "bust" the nieetng. The prohibitionists will close the campaign in Adrián with a "rouser," having secured Croswell opera ïouse for November 5th evening. The candidate for governor, A. M. Todd, and D. W. Grandon, next rohibition congressman for the second district, will address the meetng, and it is expected that there will be a "full" audience. Nobody ïas any more fun in a campaign han the prohibitionists; and they are free alike from the strain of doubtful expectation and the jagged pangs of defeat. Blessed is the prohibitionist! Willard Stearns, of Adrián, could not be present at the ovation given to Vice-President Stevenson, at Detroit, but he sent the following to the committee of invitation: "I would be glad to be there and meet the next president of the United States. Convey to him and the democracy assembled my best wishes for a proñtable, enthusiastic and successful meeting, conducted harmoniously and vigorously for pure democracy, that recognizes the pood old plan of rewarding the workers for party principies and party success by ousting the political enemies from official positions if it takes every board off the civil service fence and pulls up the posts." Phew! Dramatic critic Geo. P. Goodale, of the Free Press, has just cut his 2()th notch in the tally shingle that tells the years of his consecutive connection with the tried and true old F. P. Without any reference to a certain old phrase Mr. Goo lale is "a gentleman and a scholar" in the etymological sense of the term. We suppose that in these days almost any first-class newspaper could do without almost any first-class man, jut we think that Mr. Goodale's re:irement from the Free Press would cnock avery largeholein the journalstic calculations of that paper, and rust that he will regard himself sentenced to public servitude on that national journal, for the remainder of his natural life. Over in Franklin, Lenawee Co., dwells an old woman who is so "allfired" ugly that her son has to whip her. This bad tempered woman is old euough to know better, being over yo years of age. Her name is I Julia Ann Wilson and her indulgent son, Michael Wilson. Notwithstanding the old lady's obstinacy about minding her son, such has been his leniency that instead of knocking her down with an ax-helve or flogging her with a trace chain, he has merely used a horsewhip! And yet Michael Wilson's son, ungrateful for his being, has had his father and step-mother arrested for assault and battery on his grandmother, and their trial will take place Nov. 8. "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child" and an obstinate mother over 90 years old. Prof. Bress' Triple Flavoring Extracts are delicious, pure and from three to five times stronger than any others because they are raanufactured by a new chemical process. Satisfaction is strictly guaranteed or your money refunded. For sale at grocers' and at the office, No. 32 E. Huron street, third floor.