Washtenawisms

The Manchester German school opened yesterday. A choir of over 30 voices has j been organized ai the Ypsilanti Presbyterian Thursday. The Enterprise says: "Brown is] 11 the go, lhis fall." Ves- quite a masher among the frauleins. S. Derauth, of Wampler's has riged up a brush covered boat as an arabush from which to slay ducks. Chas. Robison, of Manchester, drew a gun, last week, luckily without the slightest harm coming of it. He held No. 34. Sincc James L. Couk purchased the Wright house in Ctielsea, the property is looking up, as the house has been raised to two stories. Alfred Gauss, Bridgewater, j suffers from a collision between hirnself and the hind foot of a horse. The horse was not injured. The Ypsilanti bicycle club has #21 still in the treasury. That is enough for a wet banquet, where all might become "pneumatically úrea." Charles Schultz, of Dexter, scooted 110 miles on his bicycle, one I recent Sunday. If the deed was as good as the day it was a good day's work. Three barrels of, clothing for thtfire sufferers of Pine City, Minn., have been forwarded from Ypsilanti by the Presbyterian Home Missiünary society. The Ypsilantian says: Warren Lewis of 'this city and several other gentlemen have made arrangements to conduct a race meeting in the city of Mexico this winter. We are all thinking that the way Charles Ashton is stepping around we will hear those wedding belis soon. - Free Church Cor. Commercial. "Petah, go ring dem bells." Earl Conklin and Will Hmery, of Bridgewater, have gone to the north woods on a hunting expedition and will' be absent. a month, itoiess driven in by the ferocious and dangerous fox squirreU Mr. Henry Hoffman and Miss Faulkner, both.. of Sylvan, were married Wednesday, October 31, 1 894, by Rev. Thomas Holmes, I). D., at his residence in Chelsea. - Chelsea Standard. Michael Howe and Miss Mary Wade, of Chelsea, became one,' last week. VVho showed Michael Howe to Wade into matrimony? Note - This is an awful funny joke. Don't try to swallow it all at on gurgle. Mr. and Mrs. James Weir, of Bridgewater, recently celebrated their golden wedding with the assistance of about fifty relatives and friends. Numerous gifts were pleasing accompaniments of the occasion. Amos Gregg, of Chelsea, who received an injury some time ago, has received a pair of crutches as a present from the K. O. T. M. The order has a reputation for helping a raember on his legs when he gets down. So many boys have walked into the Dexter town clerk's office for woodchuck and sparrow bounty orders that the rloor was worn out and the clerk has laid a new one with the aid of a portion of his enormous revenue. Geo. H. Hammond, of Ypsilanti, owns a four-ounce dog, which Hammond offers to bet can whip any (log of his size in the city orcounty. It is said to be great fun to witness the dog snatch the backing out of a tramp's trousers. With his expiring breath, the calamitist of the Ypsilantian feebly yells: "While the people slept the enemy sowed tares. Oh, what a harvest has been gathered during the past two years !" O Témpora ! O, Moses ! O, Rats! At the Orchard Lake military academy, on the 2Óth uit., Harry Kies, of Manchester, was made (irst lieutenant and quarter-master, making him the highest ranking 'first lieutenant in the school. Manchester mounts the pinnacle. John and Anna Corliss, of Dexter, "trusted in Ptovidence till the breeching broke" while on their way to school, recently, and both were thrown out Neither were ' much injured, but it knocked out all the answers to their sums. Barney Johnson, of Ypsilanti, turning his back on the prettiest young ladies of that city, went to Chicago on Sunday evening last week and was married to Miss Mary O'Neil. In the opinión of Mr. Johnson, the world's fair was yet to be seen in Chicago. Pete O'Leary, the coon catcher of Wampler's lake. catches a coon nearly every night. He is willing to submit his record as a coon catcher, to competition with that of Rev. Dan Shier as a black bass ang'er. If the eider is ahead, Pete will dine him on roast coon. If the powers of Satan have triumphed and Pete is ahead, the preacher must trot out a bass fry. The Chelsea lecture course j ed up, at a sprightly trot, with the ! 1 Arion Entertainers. Mrs. Emma W. Crane, wife of Chas. Crane, of Ypsilanti, died on I Wednesday of last week. I. The new Congregational church at Chelsea will probably be ready : for dedication about the first or February. , The Sentinel calis him "Blue beard Spalding. " Tonight he is i expected to be in a position to personate one of "Bluebeard's" wives. , James Cavanaugh will rule the ; gion of Sharon hill this winter, as i schoolmaster. Sharon hill is thoroughly defended against the smallpox. ; Will Hough, son of W. M. Hough, of Manchester, now located at Fort Wayne, Ind., lias captured a bride at New Era, which opens a new era i of prospenty for him. ( A bouquet social will be held at i the Dexter Congregational church, Nov. yth. Defeated candidates will ] take notice, their campaign bouj quets having withered. i Sulphur lias been burned in the 1 Manchester school buildings and if any small-pox gerras were there they have certainly had a very "hereatter" lime ot ít. ; To Mrs. Harry A. Gilmore, of i Ypsilanti - a son. Another addition to Gilmore's band. - Ann ArborAr'■ gus. No, sir; this is the first. - i Sentinel. Then the "addition" don't count. ] The Herald writes up the l ness prospects of the village of 'J Chelsea, in a cheering vein, and ] predicts a bright future. This is l enough to make the dead body of s the calamity-howler turn blue with anguish. c Mr. Gridley, of Ypsilanti town, c on account of rain, postponed an c auction sale to Nov. 6, which leads t the Ypsilantian to remark: "Mr. r Gridley understands what influence c a republican victory will have on prices." Poor Gridley! Got to c postpone his auction sale again, and e indefinitely! A vicious Hallowe'en was observed s at Manchester, where not only píate t glass was marked with dubious .' scriptions, but out-houses were tipped over, and other property injured. In one instance, a carriage nearly new was taken trom the shop { and partly destroyed, the top and seat being broken off. Fred Wyman has our thanks for a fine specimen of crude asbestos. It was found by him at Foster's, while excavating near the river, into which it had been thrown. It carne ' inally from Canada, from whence a ! carload was brought by the well Paper Company for experiment ' some years ago. - Dexter Leader. No new cases of small-pox or varioloid having appeared in Manchester, the health board last week claimed the quarantine raised. The sun again started on his journey, and public meetings and schools ' have been resumed. We repeat that it was very mean in the republicans " to start the small-pox in Manchester ' for campaign purposes. The Chelsea boys, charged with j heaving formations of rock through Central train car windows, will be examined after election. It is derstood that they will produce ( nesses to prove that the car j posed to have been "dornicked" was in reality struck by a meteor and are willing to swear that tbey saw the meteor come downthrough the ' car. The greatest eel trap, excepting . one, ever known in theworld,is the electric light water wheel at , chester. The exception is in the case of the drowned man whose stomach proved to be full of eels. When the neighbors had recovered the body and emptied the eels they í asked the widow what to do with it and received the tearful reply, "Set 'im again." ; The six Smith sisters gave a charming concert at Ypsilantf, last week. According to the Ypsilantian, some of the young men, after seeing and hearing them, "wondered how it was possible that the name of all of them was still Smith." What a stupid lack of perspicuity! Don't they understand that a rose by another name would smell no sweeter? A new road out of Manchester village, crossing the branch of the Lake Shore railway, has been laid out, passing east from the village a mile and ioining; the north and south road in Bridgewater. The Lake Shore people asked $6oo for the right of way across their tracks, but it was finally secured by Attorney Waters for JS 1 5 . This extensive reduction for cash is in keeping with a sale of a span of horses years ago by Uncle Charlie Redfield of Adrián, who askéd an eastern buyer $800 for a fine looking team. "I cannot offef you over 8300, and I wül give that," remarked the Bostonian. "Well," responded Uncle Charley, slowly and with apparent reluctance, "that is a of a drop, but they 're your horses!" The revival meetings at Willis have closed. Patrick O'Brien, of Ypsilanti, died Friday raorning aged 61 years. üliver Twist, of Free Church, lost a horse the other day. This will cause Oliver Twist to "cali tor more." A plum tree in Ypsilanti blossomed finely last week, and yet the Wilson bill had only begun to be operative. G. W. Johnson, of Ypsilanti, recently married to a Chicago lady, is a "cold storage" man. Did the lady know that? A lantern frightened the horse of Jay Dickerson, at Willis. The animal let drive with a heel and neariy broke the arm of Mrs. Dickerson. The team of Ed McCrady, of Ypsilanti town, exercistd turn a little last week by running away and keeling him out, bur without changmg his politics. The plate glass front of the Hawkins house barber shop, Ypsilanti, is stained with prismatic tints, and the tellow who wants a "flamingo" head eau have ït, or a "head' of any other kind. Dr. Sruith's chapel subject at the Normal recently was "Why Should a Person go to Europe?" Xo reason in tíie world. A little warm water and lobelia will make himjust ís sea sick, and they cost almost nothiiig. A wagon solemnly occupied the porch ot tüe Milan Baptist church, the morning atter 'Hoilowe'en. Who the "hounds" were who placed it there is not known as the wagon's :ongue was silent and never a wneel ;poke on the subject. Dr. Boone, of the Normal, in his :hapel talk, one marning last week, jiscoursed of the many illustrious Jeeds performed by young men be:ween the ages of 15 and 30, but he tiever mentioned the exploits of one af Adrian's mayors. A revival meeting and a republi:an rally at Milan ran opposition to ;ach other, last Tuesday evening. The contrasts met with in the world iré sometimes appailing. A minis:er at Milan led the saints au'd Cap:. Allen the hosts of Satan. An. examination of our ■ independent county exchai g:s, with republi;an editors, shows that it is easier to punch out a camel "s eye with Cleopatra's needie than for one of said editors not to show his partisinism through his newspaper. A tramp was stealing a ride on the freight train which smashed up near Ypsilanti, last week. After the crash was over, all that was visible of the tramp was a dirty streak across a field, so rapidly did he put distance between himself and recent danger. On the i5th, Benj. S. Boyce, of the Peninsular paper company, of Ypsila'nti, will be married to Miss Bertha Day, of Hudson. May he always have cause to bless the Day that honored him with such an alliance! Miss Day is an organist of talent. Gypsies, in Free Church, proposed to purchase hay of F. Collins, and having loaded up with a fair I sized jag of it offered Collins 25 1 cents. Collins as soon as he recovered from his fainting spell made the dirty faced Moors unload it and begone. John Lee, a young physician of Chelsea, has looked Waterloo over and believes the people there neeed a certain kind of pills which he has in stock and a doctor that looks exactly like him, to feed them to them. He will respond to the Waterloo wish and show his ability. There are said to be still a few vacant places in Dexter where hitching posts can be planted. It is a great question among horticulturists whether fall or spring is the best time to set hitching posts, and whether they should be allowed to stand out in the cold, miblanketed. . Alba Day, of Willis, obtained some notion of the velocity of a flying body the other day -vhen a horse kicked him. He feil against a post and Dr. Post got hold of him post haste and sewed up the rip in his upper lip; but he is still hunting around for the tooth he lost in the excitement. In clearing away the wreckage of the Ypsilanti opera house, destroyed by a cyclone, it is revealed that had the building been occupied when the 'clone struck it, death must have been the result to neariy all present. If only the bad actors could have been killed, the destruction of the opera house would not have been an unmitigated calamity. A Chicago firm ordered of Davis & Co., of Ypsilanti, a barrel of what is known to the trade as milk pipkins. They didn't sell, till by accident a lady who saw them exclaimed, "Why, that's just what I want, to pour batter for cakes from." The firm took the hint, changed the name to "batter pitchers," advertised them, and now the "batter pitchers" go off "like hot cakes." The Willis poet was not dead, bat sleeping. He aroused from his long nap, glared at the. overhead vvall a few minutes and then bounded from his bed and wrote: Willis i loonmig; C. H. la buomiuj? rJ'lie towu. A close öbservatlon Down at töe etatloa Wil] Show Tlmt he does it iip Brown. The following are contestants in the poem and story event in the Normal News: From Atheneum, poem, Mary T. Stout; story, Louise Harding. Frorn Olympic, poem, Ella Gardner; story, Carrie Barber. From Crescent, poem, Dwight Kennedy; story, Miss Smith. From Adelphic, póem, Miss Culver; story, Henry Newcomb. O, the brainrack and the headache.1-!