Washtenawisms

A coffee and kerosene famine prevailed at Saline, last week. Milán has two temperance societies and three saloons, all flourishing. The Odd Fellow building in Milán has been fortified with a píate glass front. A deer hustled through thc woods and fields south of Milán last week. The animal was evidently in a hurry and made no calis. The case of the people against John Cornell, of Ypsilanti, for assault and battery on Mrs. Rachel Bogardus, has been dropped. Dr. Derastus Holmes, formerly of Ypsilanti, died recently on the street in Topeka, Kansas, where he had fallen down with heart disease. Namrf lnves to construct ! ties. A beet in the exact shape of a nice "roasting pig" stands in an Ypsilanti show window and labeled "six cents a pound. " It has fooled fools and wise men. Mrs. Perry Mayo recently dressed Fraternity grange, of Willis, 'i on "The Needs of the Hour," and j laid about right and le-ft on the sins of the day, and placed her reliance chiefly on Faith, Hope and Charity. We wonder why those in charge of church affairs do not start meetings again. - Iron Creek Cor. Enterprise. Perhaps the gospel motor may have stopped on a "dead center." Brethren, get hold of the balance wheel and lift! The Ypsilantian delivers this original criticism of Miss Louise Bailey, the pianist v.ho gave a recital at Normal hall: "Although Miss Bailey often Jacks delicacy, sympathy, and even expressiveness, in her interpretations, she is, nevertheless, an extremely gifted and brilliant pianist. Her frigidity one quite forgets in admiring her almost masculine strength. Prof. Bailey, of the Cleary business college of Ypsilanti, while riding his bicycle the other day came violently in contact with the city ordinance prohibiting the use of wheels on the sidewalk. He was not thrown off, bu: the ordinance was fractured to the extent of $i and costs. It is suspected that the subtle professor engineered the accident for the' purpose of giving the Clearyjbusiness college a free notice in the newspapers. From Ypsilanti come rumors that a carousal was held there last week, in honor of something that happened on election day. We take no interest in such things. As near as we can learn, there was a big bonfire of republican dry goods boxes, speeches by Capt. Allen, H. Wirt Newkirk and Mr. Wedemeyer, an elroaring time and two fights. We would say more but the earth is the exclusive property of republicans and it is through their courtesy that we rent the air we breathe in our h unible little corner. Marshal Baker having resigned, W. Brainard has just been elected marshal, by the Saline council. Mr. Brainard is a solid republican and an excellent man. The statements contained between the two last pe-j riods are made wholly without any knowledge on our part. Weassume that Brainard is a republican, as none but republicans are elected this year. We assume that Brainard is an excellent man, because we daré speak no ill of republicans any more, although he may have roasted ?nd eaten his grandmother tor all that we know - and we wouldn't be surprised to learn that he did. The Washtenaw Times in its issue of Thursday gave Chairman l'rettyman, of the republican county commitiee, much credit for the late republican victory in Washtenaw county. - Chelsea Herald. There is no denying that Mr. Prettyman and Secretary Corbin flew ound like oid hats in a gale of wind; but had they sat around republican headquarters till the bu'.warks of their pantaloons shone like the ball on the court house flagstaff the result would have been exactly the same. This attempt to make a ' Goliath killing David out of 1 man is the boshiest rot of the cam-j paign. The hunting season has been an extremely poor one. But few woodchuck were shot, and quail and partridge are extremely few. Rabbits, too, are said to be much less numerous than common . - Saline Observer. All due to the blamed democrats. But just wait till the republicans ;get in on the first of January and you will find a partridge on every hollow log; quail in every barn yard; rabbit in every brush heap. The air will be darkened with woodcock, already cooked, and the rustling rings of stuffed wild turkeys will T.)eat the wintry sky like the breath ■ jf an Ypsilanti tornado. NewYear's esents will drop from the zenith, jxJates of fried eggs will hail down for Easter. O, there's going to be a turn over, and don't forget Wait for the republican millenm . The Presbyierians of Saline will give a thanks socia! Thanksgiving evening. Sherraan Cook, of Saline, is up north hunting the man-eating red squirrel. Mr. Egner is the new night operator at Milan. He takes neither egg nor ogg. Catherina, wife of Goetlob'Bauer, I of Saline township, died Monday of last week, Ieaving the husband and five children. "O, yes," exclaims the Milan Leader, James E. De ia f o ree is a grandpa - been one for a week; he's coming down now. "Coming down now!" VVhat! Again? Henry C. Calhoun, of Bridgewater, raised the past season, 200 bushels of popcorn, which the children will try to get away with, on j the long winter evenings. The lucky man today is he who has his sumraer wages in his pants pocket. - The lucky democrat of today was he who didn't bet his summer wages on election. There are I mighty few of him in this county. Mr. Bernhard and Lizzie Bauer, I of Northfield, attended the funeral of Jacob Bauer, of Montpelier, O. The deceased was a resident of that place for a great many years. He leaves a wife and son and many relatives and friends to mourn his departure. Mrs. lohn Winerer. of near ter, last week gave birth to twin girls, which in some respects resembled the Siamese twins. They were separate, except that they were provided with but a single abdomen. They were dead when born. The weight of the pair was 15 pounds. At the next Friday afternoon conversation given by Miss King, the students are to give past experiences concerní ng "Truth." - Ypsilantian. The subject may be a proper one for students, but the politicians of the last campaign could teil all they know about the subject in just a short while. A framed portrait of old Gen. Demetrius Ypsilanti has been procured through the efforts of Prof. E. A. Strong, and hung in the Ladies' Library building in the city, named after the great Grecian. Meanwhile the portrait of old Dem. Yp. contributed to the city of Ypsilanti by the Grecian government is still missing from the council room. Postmaster Carpenter is happy over the rapid recovery of his daughter, Mrs. Ruth Lathrop, from a very serious operation. She had a tumor removed, of the weight of fortytwo póunds by Dr. Martin, of Ann Arbor. All danger is thought now to be passed, and the many friends of the familv will sincerelv late them. - Ypsilanti Commercial. George Stevens and Irene Beaman, of Wampler's Lake, having tackled each other "for better or for worse" the boys around there turned out and made it worse. They held a regular Hallowe'en social and raised such a din, so it is stated, that Old Nick ordered nis firemen to cease piling sulphur and coal under the fellow who had just arrived from Milan, long enough to "go j and stop that dem noise." The Commercial hears that so little did Mr. Dansingburg expect election that he was working on nis farm as usual, next day, little dreaming of his greatness, and that when he heard of it, he left his oxen in the furrow " and hasted away at his country's cali, like old Cincinnatus. " This reads as pretty as a fairy tale, and we would it were true. But the Commercial was misinformed. Dansingburg never slept till he heard the returns, and then he sprang high in the ambient air and cracked his heels together twice before striking the earth. N. Van Derwerken, of Whittaker, shot some of Carmi Middlebrook's chickens and Middlebrook sued for damages, before Justice Hunt. The parties appeared as their own witnesses and attorneys and in making their pleas astonished everybody at the araonnt of legal knowledge whicli they didn't possess. The 'justice, when he recovered from the j coraatose state into which he had been thrown by the overwhelming erudition of counsel decided for the plaintiff. Defendant paid costs and slight damages, and oratory like a fog still hangs over the court room. Miss Webb, of the Saline high school, recently gave her scholars a sketch of the life of Mozart, but left them and the public absolutely uninformed on a question of vital interest, viz: When Moz. gave a concert was it his habit to suddenly jump out fromawingof the stage, in a pair of misfit pantaloons, and without noticing the audience, rush at the piano and claw the daylights out ofit? And did he then leap high from his stool, duck his head at the audience like a sand-hill crane, and dive headforemost behind the scènes like a summer bullfrog into Zukey lake ? If not Moz. 's art was not up to that öi his modern interpreters, i but way back ! way back ! Chandler's' poultry house in Chelseaemploys about fifty persons. It is said that Geo. H. Hammond, of Vpsilanti, owner of the famous ] four-ounce terrier, turns a gilí cup over him nights lest the rats carry him away. It is said that there is not an empty dwelling house in Chelsea. Perhaps the former renters did not scald and scrub as much as they should have done. The sentinel is curious about the I size of Gen. Spalding's hat. It is understood that Spalding and Barkworth have traded. The reversal just fits the after election conditions. Among the candidates for the appointraent of deputy-sheriff in this bailiwick are Archy Gauntlett and C. M. Blackmer. Geo. Van Blarcum acknowledges that the gig is up. - Milan Leader Edwin Crane and VVilliam H. McCauley, of Vpsilanti, died last Friday. Mr. Crane was a pioneer of Washtenaw, and was aged 68 years. Mr. McCauley was 34 years of age . At a recent fox hunt in Dexter, Sedgwick was the lion-hearted hunter who faced death-from the chance shots of his brother hunters, and brought down the chicken dealer of the night. There are still undug potatoes in the vicinity of Saline. They will keep at least until the frost is out of them ; and, indeed, ir cooked and eaten while they are frozen, the) are just as good as any other, so it is said. The Sentinei pokes tuit at au a) vertisement in the Chelsea Herald wherein some one advertises for "A good principaled girl." It seeras to us that whether the girl has a good "principal" is a matter of "interest" only for those concerned. J. C. Ambrose, of Evanston, 111., but formerly of Sharon, is loaded to the muzzle with a patriotic speech which he is having hard work to keepon his stomach. He will therefore fire it off, at Center church, Thankpgiving day at 10 a. m. The Saline Observer cjnveys the distressing intelligence that "Alfred Miller's old, tried and true black nag is down with paralysis, which will doubtless close its career on earth." The relatives and friends have the sincere sympathy of the i community. A petition is before the Saline council praying for a joint partnership between the village and school district in a 500 barrel cistern for fire protection. In view of recent events the constructión of such a swimming tank would be a provident undertaking. The school board has caused a change to be made in the readers and arithmetics of the school. Appleton's readers and Stoddard's arithmetics have been superseded by Raub's Normal readers and Elementary and Complete arithmetics. The change was made Wednesday. - Milan Leader. George Perry, who rec-;ntiy died in Vpsilanti, was aged 95 years, having been born in 1799 It is not improbable that in the 20th century there will be people living who were born in the i8th century. It sort of makes credulity catch its breath to contémplate the existence of one who may yet live to breath the air of three centunes. The Milan express messenger last week delivered a box of books at the school house. Young America was there; the snow was nice and soft - and there. What should hinder having a whole lot of fun with the messenger? Theyhadit. The big, white bullets hurtled through the air and hit the messenger in the eye, i nj uring the ball very severely. The Methodists intend to move' their church bell froni the old edifice into the new place of worship - the Fresbyterian church. - I chester Enterprise. How strangely a Methodist bell must feel, ringing out free salvation from the dome of ! predestination; and the Presbyterian ! bell - that has been purchased for, St. Mary's Catholic church. What a mix is here! Henry D. Sutton, win some years ago went to Washington state, from Manchester, and became active as a platform orator of the state prohibition alliance, recently committed suicide by hanging himself in a barn on Whidby Island. Heis supposed to have been insane. He had achieved wide distinction as a prohibition orator and was accounted among the strong men of the party in the northwest. At the Baptist church, of Ypsilanti, Friday evening, Rev. Chas. E. Lee, of Grand Rapids, had for the subject of a lecture the very live topic of "The American Boy." Doubtless the eider himself had at some period of his life been an American boy, and as such, understood the act of crawling under the canvass of a circus tent, and of "making a sneak" past the door tender of the theatre. Otherwise he knows little of the real virtues of "The American Boy."