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A sauer kraut factory is in blasl at Hanover. Scarcely has Manchester gotten rid of the small-pox when Tecumseh comes down with roller skating. Twelve Clinton business men representing the twelve tribes of Israel are fitting up a reading and club room. A new drying machine in a Tecumseh laundry whirls the shirts on a kind of merry-go-round and jerks the moisture out of them by cenírifugal forcé. Fred Schwabreaugh, of Macomb county, has a tear in his abdomen, caused by trying to mend a belt with a dynamite cartridge instead of a. copper rivet. GeorgeWirth, of Adrián, stepped out of his place, Saturday of last week and disappeared in a sidewalk cellar that had been left open. Mr. VVirth's nose is in a sling. A series of eight dances has been instituted at Wampler's lake. Thanksgiving night will witness a masquerade that will be a "cracker" two dollars for the whole course. Some newspaper says that David B. Hill is a veritable anchorite. Possibly that's so, but he didn't anchor right this fall in the New Vork political sea. - Adrián Press. J. P, Hagaboom, of Aurelius, last week while driving in the evening ran into C. Simpson's team - -he didn't C. Simpson's t?am, you see - and killed his horse, the tongue of the opposing rig penetrating the horse's breast. Mrs. William Sitnmonds lost her gold watch. She advertised for its recovery in The News. She found it later in the family wood pile, and still there are people who stand around and say they don't believe in advertising. - Grass Lake News. The fire department have received their new rubber coats and hats and are now thoroughly equipped and drilled for fighting any kind of a fire. - Northville Record. The above may be true, but only those who deny the existence of an orthordox hereafter will believe it. It is reported that an Owosso township man was buried alive, the evidence being that when the coffin was afterwards opened, he was lying on his face with both hands clenched in his hair. t is strange, however, iiiat in such an extraordinary case the na:ne of t h is man is withheld. It is most singular how many persons are rescued f rom the water just as they "were going down for the third time." It has just happened again in Tecumseh. Jim Marsh broke through the ice, but Jake Woodbeck got him as he was performing his great act of the final di ve. A man named Hurlburt stepped into a barber shop at Hillsdale, got shaved and then went out and comraitied suicide. The barber thinks vcry kindly of Mr. Hurlburt, for giving him the job, and does not even yet appear to suspect that the poor fellow killed himself to ease the agony produced by the shave. The speek on the sun caused by ihe transit of Mercury was not visible to the naked eye, and those who attempted to discover it had their trouble for naught. - Tecumseh News. Just as well. Those who ■saw it, from this end of the route, state that the size of the planet corapared with the sun, was as the democratie to the republican vote. Such -comparisons are odious. Down somewhere around Hritton resides a fellow who found a bee tree and wishing to test the supply of honey sent a bullet through the shell of the hollow and out gushed. a stream of sweet. It seemed a ■pity to see it waste, so this man slid the ram rod of his gun into the barrel, aimed it at the bullet hole and "let 'er go." The ram rod now sticks out of the bullet hole, and anyone who doubts it can go and see the ram rod, or interview the candidate tor perdition, who tells the tale. IVill Kruse, of VVaterloo, went to the barn, like a thrifty farmer, early in the morning. Arriving there, the bottom feil out of his lantern, and there was a blaze, my countrymen. Instead of running out and yelling fire and calling out the department, Kruse spoiled a sensation by clapping his hat over the blaze and sitting down on it, till the fire was out. Of course during this time he was engaged in catching a cold in his head, but - that was all. AVm. Wade, of [onesville, bet Í5 that Gen. Spalding would be elected, but he grew scared and sold out his bet for $2 and put the money up ■ on Barkworth. Word is received ihat Mr. Wade has just completed a caachine, operated by clock work, wrhicb shoots out with great violence :a leg and foot, the latter clothed . a No. 13 boot. Against this activity Mr. Wade backs up every day and receives a kind of nameless punishment to discipline his judgjuent. Several deer were recently shot in the savage wilds of Summerfielil township, Monroe county. Have you heard of it? Tony Brunk has twins - a boy and a girl. - Britton Journal, Hadn't, b' gosh! How is the oíd man getting along ? Revolting accusations against W. C. Willits, a Sunfield, Livingston county, school teacher, have caused himto putmuch reraoteness between himself and Sunfield. The ladies' guild of Trinity church, Hudson, is still nurturing a man's hat, found at one of its afternoon meetings two years ago, waiting for the owner - poor thing! - to turn up. The Hiilsdale Üernocrat notes that in trotting out the roosters after election, the republicans becray a theft, having stolen the democratie bird, as they have everything else that is good. It is asserted in Monroe county "without fear of successful contra diction" that the barns and silos on the Geo. Peters farm between Deerfield and Petersburgh, are the finest and largest in the state. A large hanging lamp, suspended from the flies, feil upon the stage of the opera house just before the concert, Friday evening, and burnt a hole in the carpet and destroyed a piano cover. - Hudson Gazette. After listening to the serenade given hirn by the republicans on the night of election Editor Schermerhom hands down the opinión that their selections as well as their manners could be improved by cultivation. The young ladies of Plymouth are giving entertainments to raise the means of procuring a fire alarm. The starter of the series will be a minstrel show. O, my ! O, my! What will Dr. Ryan say? - or don 't the young ladies care? The Lansing board of pólice and fire coramissioners, recently passed a resolution forbidding any policeman from wetting his whistle with any kind of intoxicating beverage, whether off or on duty. Then the board adjourned and "all took something! This "sweetly solemn thought" comes o'er the editor of the Fowlerville übserver: "A mere thing evidently, but why is it that some editors will go into raptures over the first fall of the "beautiful" and at precisely the same time their big toes are exposed n the weather?" Roe and Shettleroe, of Petersburgh, bet their horses on Monroe county. Roe beat Shettleroe, betting on the republican side, of course, and Shettleroe owed Roe his horse; but when Roe went to Shettleroe to receive his property the poor old democratie "pelter" was dead. So though Roe beat Shattleroe, Shettleroe beat Roe and Roe and Shettleroe do not row in the same boat any more. "Jim," the cat at the Clinton provisión store, was missing. In i4days he appeared, weak and staggering. No "spit," no humping his spine. He had been shut in a lone cold room those 14 days without tasting food or clothing. He is fattening again. Since "Jim" became one of the market firm he has survived ten different partners. Once he took a nap in a stranger's buggy and was carried to Adrián. "But the cat came back." This slick trick was worked on a Coldwater druggist recently: A young man with an open envelope, asked Dr. Ferguson for a $20 bilí in exchange for smaller money, as he wished to send it to his raother. The $20 was given him and by him placed in the envelope. Then he fished in his pockets and laying $19 down said he would go across the way and get the lacking dollar. He came not back and when the doctor opened the envelope, the "twenty" it was not there! A skeleton, in a sitting position, was recöntly uncovered at Hudson, while workmen were excavating fsr the basement of a barn. It was that of a seven-footer, and is supposed to be the extinct remains of a prehistorie Iroquois chief of the Chicago club, from the abnormal size of the feet and the fact that the two teth were missing, and thought to have fallen out in the enthusiasm of a political argument with a republican "half-breed." Not enough of the "half-breed" was found to make a skeleton. In the midst of death we are in life! One Frank Cherry, of Adrián, the other evening licked four toughs who tackled him, and when he had them all lying in the gutter together, mounted the sidewalk and inquired if he could do anything for anybody else. As no one expressed a desire for his further services, Mr. Cherry passed quietly along the even tenor of his way, and vanished. Of course when it was all over, the cops rushed upon the scène, but found only an excited crowd talking it over, and every one declaring that he could have licked that fellow, and "wished he could jist get a clin at him."


Ann Arbor Argus
Old News