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Washtenawisms

Washtenawisms image
Parent Issue
Day
11
Month
December
Year
1894
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

Marshall Straight, of Ypsilanü, has disposed of his photo gallery to G. E. Waterman and gone straight out of the business. Miss jennie E. Hudler, of Chelsea, and Arthur E. Muller, of Detroit, have taken each other for life, for better or not so good, but at present it looks like smooth sailing tor them. Rev. Mr. Hoag, of Chelsea, a Germán Evangelical minister of much eloquence and executive ability, has accepted a call to the pastorate of the Germán Evangslical church of Port Huron. The Scio Center Sunday school will hold a tair Friday afternoon and evening, at the residencé of Thomas Stroh. Supper between the hours of eight and nine o'clock and the nightmare"afterwards, for only 10 cents. The new bell of the Chelsea Congregational church was placed in position, last week, and is a monument to the enterprise of the society. "He who in this life provides not his own monument, shall live no longer in memory than the bell rings and the widow weeps. The Napoleon young man who walks eight miles to Jackson and back to court his best girl upon a Sunday evening has syTnptoms of a good husband. - Chelsea Herald. You can't teil by "symptoms." After they are married she is just as likely as not, to do the family wood splitting. The federal court at Detroit is hearing the suit between Elroy M. Avery, once a student in this city, and Henry C. Spaulding, of Monroe. The quarrel involved is of thirty years' standing, and was fully described in the Sentinel three or four years ago. The original fight was for possession of a gold watch stolen from a confedérate general during the war. - Ypsilanti Sentinel. The leg of Frank Tucker was not cut off. He told the doctors that they would have to cut off his head before they got that leg. It is getting well, now. Quoth a patiënt, after an operation, "Doctor, you have cut off the wrong leg." Quoth the doctor, "By the horned moon, I guess 1 have! Never mind, I'll just splint up the other one, and you will still have one good leg, just the same." Here's a story for our exchanges and its the truth too. A Northville gentleman has so far this year gathered in 618,750 dozen ot eggs and expects to get all of 475,000 dozen more within the next few weeks. - Northville Record. Chelsea has a produce firm that has handled 1,500,000 dozen eggs since January ist. Northville, you're too slow. - Chelsea Standard. There, take that, confound you! Frank Shaver, of Chelsea, exhibits some blocks of beach wood from trees cut off by beavers in building their dams. The mechanical tools of the beaver are his jaws and tail. With his jaws he fells trees and puts theni in place for a dam. His tail is both a mud scow and a trowel. . He loads up his flat caudal with clay, which he bears to the dam and spanks down with heavy blows, the "mud scow" becoming his trowel. Beavers are good at damming, but unlike some other people they never damn the board of public works. D. C. Van Buren, in the Dexter Leader, answering a query as to what wouid happen to a ball dropped into a hole passing through the center of the earth to the opposite side, avers that if there were no friction of the air, the ball would flip back and forth eternally, but from another unfortunate circumstance viz: That the ball would rub the east side of the hole going down, and the west side coming up, on account of the rot 'tatery motion of the earth. Now that aint so, Van. The ball would have the same motion as the earth and keep its proper distance. If you don't believe it, jump off an express going at a mile a minute and see if you don't find yourself traveling right along with the train. Will C. Cornwell, of Ypsilanti, who recently went to the city of Mexico, writes back that he arrived there just in time to get into a dispute with an earthquake. Having once been hustled through space by a cyclone and came out of it with his shirt collar on his heel and the seat of his pantaloons packed so tightly about his neck that he nearly suffocated, he was of course well nerved to withstand a little thing like an earthquake; so while the store he was in, bobbed up and down like a bucking broncho, he caught hold of the counter and hung on with calmness, while some of the natives fell on their knees and prayed, which recalls the experience of Billy O'Rourke, during a storm at sea. Said Billy: "While somo were on their bended knees And others just a fainting, Still I kept atmy bread and cheese, For I always looked out for Ihe mulo thing." E. Wolff, of Sharon, in a fall received an injury to one of his hands, and is suffering from blood poisoning- Dentist Hunter, of Jackson, who has had the "pull" on Manchester for some time, has moved to Clinton, whose teeth ached to have him come. Wesley J. Parker was the first man to shake his tax money under the nose of the Ann Arbor town collector and demand a receipt. He got it. The verdict of the court in the cases of the Chelsea boys arrested for firing rocky formations into a railroad train, was, "Not guilty,but if you ever do it again, up you go." At the Chelsea M. E. church, last Sunday morning, the subject of the pastor was, "Preparation for the coming of Christ," and in the evening it was "Heil," with a large attendance. Mr. Southworth, of near Wampler's Lake, has rented his celery farm for three years to a Brooklyn man, who will plant it to peppermint and bring tears to the eyes of all his competitors. Tomorrow evening the Chronothanatoletron will be let loose at the Saline opera house. It is sajd to be very fierce and those who attend and do not exercise the utmost care will recklessly incur great peril. Mr. and Mrs. Isaac Shaw, of Saline, recently celebrated the twenty fifth anniversary of their marriage, and neither has ever thought of applying for a divorce. About 70 guests were present. Nearly 100 head of fancy poultry have been shipped from G. J. Nissly's poultry farm during the past two weeks at very satisfactory prices. Among them one pen of ten for which the price received was $55. - Saline Observer. Three strangers, who from their habit and appearance the Saline Observer man took to be freshmen from Ann Arbor, dropped into the office to say that in walking in from Pittsfield they had taken each 7,000 steps. The Observer is silent as to what became of the "little tots." Ypsilantians justly lift the heel, because the motor road provides no protection for passengers who wish to take the car. The kick is just. Waiting for a car, unprotected, on a cold day has landed the body of more than one unfortunate in the grave, and his soul - the Lord only knows where! Strangers recently attempted to establish a creamery at Roger's Corners, but the cow wertf dry before the scheme was perfected. It is just as well to avoid the blandishments of strangers who come singing fairy songs. Many such schemes have been studded with golden balls of apparent butter, which turned out to be Dead Sea apples. Our county exchanges are commenting surprisedly on the smallness of Gen. Spalding's election expenses, he swearing to only 5195.60. They forget, however, that this report takes no cognizance or the internal revenue tax, paid by the general while sitting behind the green baize screen, in executive session, on "The State of the Union." C. Fritz, of Lima, says that others may pipe all they choose on the key of A flat minor, about "Democratie hard times," but just the same he has slaughtered this year a 20-months hog weighing 450 pounds, and four, 11-months pigs which together lugged the scales down with 1,195 pounds. Mr. Fritz also breeds the best strains of gilt edged butter and realizes top prices. No "hard times" with the Fritz family of Lima. "If that committee to devise a plan for a change in the fire department system will jump on the motor some day and pay a visit to the Ann Arbor department and investigate how things are run there, they can piek up more valuable pointers than a whole month of theorizing. Ann Arbor is handily by, and a visit there would prove of a great deal more use than Kalamazoo junkets." Thus the sage of the Ypsilanti end of the Times. "O wise young judge! How rouch more eider art thou than thy years!" Dr. Herrón recently lectured in Ypsilanti. The Ypsilantian says, that "with doleful unction he depicted the extreme corruption and 'awful' inequities of existing social conditions, and predicted the near approach of a cataclysmic sweep of avenging forces that will turn the world upside down and inaugúrate a new earth in which shall dweil righteousness." Well, by gosh! It is just as we thought. We have given a vast amount of hard, headachey thought to the subject, and the doctor's opinions are ours to a T. We thought that the "cataclysmic sweep" that was to "turn the world upside down" had struck on the night of Nov. 6th, but changed our mind on hearing of the election of John Donovan. But the doctor is right. The day when it will rain red hot hailstones cannot be far away. I Webster has arrived at the puriie ! dawn of a lecture course. Dr. J. C. Twitcheil, of Chelsea, discovered that not all the essence of lite was concentrated in powders and pills and now hulds a certifícate of raatrimony. Morris Lewis, of Ypailanti has a silver dollar of the date of 1803, for which he has refused $80 in gold. There, fellow citizens, is a hopeless "silver crank." A poor men's hard times social was held Friday evening in Saline, i It is said to have been attended principally by democrats who bet on the late lamented election. Ira Glover, of Manchester, who has had a quiet mail service sit, at Detroit, is about to be jerked from the bosom of his family and placed on the Cleveland and Chicago run. "Going gently about a thing won't ! hinder its being done." - Dexter Leader. Won't, eh? Ever try to stop a hog by just getting in tront of him and twittering, 'èSo, piggy, P'ggy"? Basket ball is a feminine fad at the Normal but it is already beginning to stale and the girls talk of oiganizing a football team. They believe they can kick strsighter than they can throw. An umbrella was left at the Congregational parsonage on the evening of the boquet social. The owner may have the same on application. - üexter Leader. It may be sent express paid to the Argus office The "milkmaids' convention" to be held at Chelsea Saturday evening, Dec. i5th, bids fair to crowd the house with a lot of wrinkle-pated old bachelors, whose enthusikstn it had not been supposed could be raised with a whiskey jack. Butter canned and hermetically sealed will be one of the articles of commerce before long. - Chelsea Herald. Yes, and the taste of our every day boarding house butter would be much improved by swalowing it in capsules. C. A. Woodcox is trying to orani.e at Ypsilanti what will be ttiown as the Normal Cornet Band. About 20 persons have ioined and t is feared by the citizens that the thing has already gone too far to be stopped. Mr. Wooëcox will try to secure by subscription $150 toward the purchase of instruments. At a recent sale in a Saline store, a brace of very yawky yahoos, claiming to disgrace Bridgewater, slipped each a pair of gloves in his pockets, and afterward underwent the mortification of seizure and search before the crowd. Each paid two prices for his gloves and both,with a hang-dog look, were allowed to chase themselves out of town. Wednesday evening of last week a doublé birthday surprise party of 100 persons was perpetrated on exEditor Nissly and Dr. B. F. Sheeder, of Saline, the event taking place at the new home of Mr. and Mrs. Nissly. Poultry and pills have wrought out a high degree of worldly success to the gentlemen who were the victims of this pleasant surprise. O. M. Kelsey spent a lonely night, he was on the warpath for a witness and drove to Holloway before he found her. - Saline Observer. Lonely ! The Observer may fooi outsiders who do not know the constitutional construction of a Saliner; bui those who do, will not believe that Kelsey, or any other male citizen of that town would feel the least bit lonely in the presence of a lady. The bell which formerly rung for Presbyterianism in Manchester, now swings in the tower of St. Mary's church, and Sunday of last week was blessed by Fr. Ternes and immediately made a f uil confession of the Catholic faith in tones loud and clear, although Full forty years or more it hung In tbc old gray turret high And (.'ilviuistic llieiuesit sijAg As Time went U'ulh)g by. There has been sume remarks about the invisibility of the dials on the new clock, but we are informed that they are not yet completed. A coat of translucent paint is yet to be put on which in a great measure will remedy the defect. - Ypsilantian. This attempt to glo.e over the truth concerning the cause of Ypsilantic strabismus, won't work, in the face of the recent liquor prosecutions. Commercial travelers began coming back to Manchester last week. They got off the trains and looked shyly around as though expecting at any moment to face the pitted form of old Small Pox crouching at the street corner. With restored confidence they related how they had heard that the entire town was quarantined and that trains did not stop there, but rushed through at 40 miles an hour while passengers held their breath till black in the face. The fellow who started the report is said to be still snickering out behind the woodpile at the success of his keen caper. Small pox seize him! F, (!. McCaffery, now has possession of the Occidental hotel, Ypsilanti. Mrs. ). J. Hill, of Ypsilanti, clied Wednesday night of last week, from heart disease. The Ladies' Aid society of Ypsilanti realized $100 trom oysters, Thanksgiving evening. Five young men of Ypsilanti town are shantying on King Flats, doing their own cooking and cutting down a tract of timber, a la pioneers. Frank Thurn, of Willow Run, and Miss Anna Clark, of Manchester, were wedded last week. Send in "thuni"' of thern goodies, please. "It is going to storm. There is a mark around the moon," re-marked a young lady Friday evening. It stormed ne.xt day after the "mark" was seen. In a rcci-nt shipment of hogs to Detroit, Plii! Peppratt, of Augusta, lost two, which gave up the ghost. Just like a hog - contrary to the last. Ann Arbor is all tore up over Whittier's belief. Tlie preachers have nearly drove their congregations crazy, with so much talking on the subject. To one at this distance from the seat of war it looks as though they could find something of more importance to preach about. - Chelsea Herald. Yep! The street meetings of the Salvavion Army at Ypsilanti are largely patronized. They are not only attended by the well-meaning and the orderly, but by a class of "smarties" who thüik it funny to cut up "shines" and who attend the meetings for the purpose of disturbing them. A few days in jail would work a wonderful reformation among that class of "alecks. " Queen City Lodge, o. 167, K. of P., Ypsilanti, e'ects the following officers. C. C, VV. f. Hyzer; V. C, D. P. Sullivan; Pre.. B. H. Comstock; M. of VV., Charles Seeger; M. of E., D. R. Morford; M. of F., F. G. Lamb; K. of R. and S., F. I,. Showerman; M. at A., F. D. McKeand; Rep., H. C. Sullivan; Alt., E. E. Trim; Trustees, VV. J. Clark, J. P. Kirk, P. W. Carpenter. Mrs. VVm. Boston, of Nashville, who has been here ministering to her mother, Mrs. Henry Vinkle, during her illness, was called home Tuesday evening by a telegram announcing the drowning of her son, Irving, aged 21 years. A company of boys were skating on the river, when one, Clayton ljarnes, aged 12 years, broke through the ice. Irving dashed to the rescue and made a brave attempt to save his life but was unsuccessful and both were

Article

Subjects
Ann Arbor Argus
Old News